


Captain Strand

by SneetchesToo



Series: 911 Lonestar Week [3]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Best Friends, Episode Tag, F/M, First Kiss, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24024430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SneetchesToo/pseuds/SneetchesToo
Summary: Owen and Michelle are involved in an offscreen relationship during season 1. Here's my take on how it went down.This was originally written for 911 Lonestar Week. I decided to continue it because I'm obsessed with the idea of these two being in a secret relationship. Clearly not 100% canon.Posted episode's 8-10 and the epilogue on 12/12/20
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Grace Ryder/Judd Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star), Michelle Blake & Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Michelle Blake & Judd Ryder, Michelle Blake/Owen Strand
Series: 911 Lonestar Week [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730191
Comments: 81
Kudos: 68
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star Week





	1. 1x01

**Author's Note:**

> This is more like an alternate ending to 1x01 than it is alternate universe style, but AU’s aren’t my forte, so here we go. Also, I may or may not continue with this series down the road. Thanks for reading!

Michelle was intrigued by the new Captain of the 126.

She was drawn in, she was maybe a little obsessed.

But Michelle was also curious about this new Captain Strand, and after watching him run out the bar, his hand clutching at his chest as he gasped for air, she was even more curious than before.

She knew something was up with him, that he wasn’t telling the whole truth about who he was.

Carlos thought she was crazy when she mentioned that while they waited for the Captain and his new crew to arrive at the Honky Tonk that night.

“You’ve known him literally less than 48 hours Michelle.” Carlos wasn’t to amused with her new obsession but she didn’t care. “I’m sure there’s still lots to get to know about him.”

“He’s lying about something.” She huffed out, taking a sip of her beer as she watched the front door swing open, the man of the hour stepping through the door, his son in tow. “I don’t like it.”

“He’s new here Chelle,” Carlos said with a teasing smile, “be nice.”

“I don’t wanna be nice.” She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the chair. “I wanna know his secret.”

“You’re impossible.” She knew he was joking with her, but she also knew he was kind of right.

“His son’s a cutie ya know?” She waggled her eyebrows at him and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“Don’t change the subject.” He pointed a finger at her and she leaned forward then, her arms resting on the table as she eyed him curiously. “And stop staring at me like that, you’re giving me the creeps.”

“Shall I introduce you two?” She barely knew the younger Strand, but she was more than willing to play matchmaker for her best-friend. “Or, you could just ask him to dance.”

Carlos huffed as he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest like she had.

“I’ll ask him to dance,” He raised an eyebrow with a sly smile on his face and she knew she was in for it, “if you ask the Captain to dance first.”

“Fuck.” She whispered her response before pushing herself out of her seat and heading toward the bar.

She could hear Carlos’ howl from the other side of the room and she silently kicked herself.

She should have known he would play dirty.

—

However, she didn’t expect that Carlos’ dirty would lead her to line dancing with the one and only Captain Strand.

Nor did she expect that one line dance would turn into three line dances.

Or that three line dances would lead to a slightly less group dance and a much closer, slightly holding each other, almost like a waltz, dance.

She was going to kill Carlos if it was the last thing she did.

But then the music picked up again and she watched as Carlos and the Strand kid, who’s name was suddenly escaping her because the older Strand had just had his hand on her waist, flirt helplessly by the bar.

So at least one of them was going home with someone tonight.

The Captain started trying to keep up with the new beat, but the next thing she knew he was dropping her hand and pushing his way through the crowd and out the front doors and she knew something was wrong.

You didn’t clutch at your chest with fear in your eyes for no reason.

Pushing her way through the crowd she searched out to see if anyone from his crew had followed him, but they hadn’t, and she let out a breath of relief.

If she had learned anything about this man in the last 36 hours it was that he was independent as fuck.

But when she pushed her way outside and found him doubled over against a post, his eyes closed as he took deep breaths in between coughs, she suddenly wished he was a little more needy.

“Owen…” She didn’t even know where the use of his first name came from, but there it was. “Are you okay?”

He nodded his head without a word before turning to lean against the post, his body sliding down until he was sitting on the concrete.

“Can I do anything?” She moved toward him and stopped, their toes touching as she watched him closed his eyes, his head falling back with a sigh.

“I’m good.” He reopened his eyes and she stared down at him with a look that she prayed said she was onto him.

“You’re so full of shit.” She moved to kneel down in front of him, her hands reaching out for his, checking his pulse as she stared him down.

After she made sure that his pulse was at a level that didn’t mean immediate death, she plopped down to sit across from her, her legs crossing as she left her hand around his.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, the music from inside the bar slowly being drowned out by the sound of the raindrops falling against the canopy over their heads.

“I have cancer.” His sentence broke the silence and she felt her heart start to race, her body immediately jumping into flight mode as she thought of all the ways she could get out of this one. “It’s in my lungs. Perk of 9/11 I guess. They say I’ll live, but, ya know, getting there’s gonna be the hard part.”

She nodded her head because she didn’t know what to say.

The night had been fun and jovial and upbeat.

This, this was the exact opposite of all of those things.

This was scary and depressing and she wanted nothing to do with it.

“I’m sorry.” She squeezed his hand as she brought her eyes up to lock with his.

Okay, so maybe she wanted a little something to do with it.

“It’s okay.” He squeezed her hand back and offered her a smile. “I’m alright. Just, too much fun at once.”

“That’s my fault.” She felt instantly guilty.

“Nah, I’ll take fun with you any day.” He winked and she couldn’t help but smile as she ducked her head.

She knew she was blushing and Goddammit was she going to kill Carlos.

They sat in silence for a little longer, his hand still wrapped tightly around hers, their breathing soft and quiet, drowning out the music and the rain.

“Hey.” He reached out with his other hand and tapped her chin, causing her to finally bring her eyes back to his. “Wanna get out of here?”

Did she ever?

But she didn’t reply with words, instead she moved to stand up, her hand reaching out for hers as she pulled him to join her.

“Lead the way Captain Strand.” She whispered, her eyes softening as she watched him smile nervously.

“You can call me Owen ya know?” He whispered his question as they headed toward his car, stopping beside it as he boxed her in against the passenger door.

“I think there’s more to the name Owen than I know.” She whispered, her hands reaching out to tug him closer by the loops of his jeans. “I think I’ll stick to Captain until I know you a little better.”

She winked and he chuckled and she felt a million and one tiny little sparks inside her ignite.

“Alright, Captain Blake,” He moved himself closer, as close as he could get, his lips mere inches from hers, “I’m gonna hold you to that promise though.”

“Yes sir.” She couldn’t help herself from leaning in then, her lips crashing against his as his hands moved to her hair.

This was most certainly not what she had in mind when she invited the Captain and his crew out for drinks tonight.

But she would take it.


	2. Yee Haw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Takes place during and immediately after 1x02 Yee Haw. It is clearly not 100% canon. I am not sorry.

Owen wasn’t entirely sure what he and Michelle were.

Not that it needed a title or anything.

Because really, titles weren’t really his thing.

But it was something.

After they had danced at the Honky Tonk he had taken her home.

He had had every intention of just dropping her off.

Maybe making out with her on the porch for a few minutes.

Maybe a witty comment and a wink and then he’d be on his way.

But she had had other plans.

And instead she had dragged him inside by his shirt collar and that had been that.

They had hooked up a few more times after that, last night being one of those times.

Every time it had been very consensual.

And it was always beyond amazing.

But she had yet to label it and he had yet to bother asking.

“You got a little pep in your step there Cap.” He didn’t know why TK cared, but whatever. “You get laid or something?”

Oh fuck.

Who told him?

He had to recover quickly, come up with something that would sound very true to himself and not awkward at all.

“I’m just feeling a little more at home in Austin.” Yeah, thanks to a particular brunette paramedic who he had left half asleep and tongue tied in his bed this morning.

It wasn’t his fault that he was such a good kisser.

Even at four in the morning.

He started rambling about farmers markets and fish oil supplements and his hair care routine but something in TK’s eyes told him that he was onto him.

Dammit the kid was too smart for his own good sometimes.

“I think you’d look good bald.” Oh for Christ’s sake, no she wouldn’t.

She had remarked on more than one occasion just how much she loved his hair.

She was so full of…

“I like that shaved head look.” Oh did she now? “Bruce Willis. The Rock… it’s super masculine.”

He was going to have to remember that.

—

But he didn’t have time to fully digest what all she had said because the next thing he knew they were being dispatched.

And if he thought he had seen crazy cases in New York.

He was wrong.

People walking out of two story windows, stabbing themselves with forks and knives, damn it had been insane out there.

“Thanks for saving me earlier.” He snapped his head up from his phone, her words echoing through the quiet space as she leaned against the door frame.

“Like you need saving.” If anything, he was the one who was being saved by her.

As cliché as that sounded.

As romantic and fairy tale-esque as that sounded.

It was true.

It may have just been sex.

But having her around these past few weeks had made a hell of a difference in his ability to cope with everything that was happening to him.

“Well I mean,” She cocked her head to the side and offered him a soft smile, her eyes twinkling in the glow of his office, “I did almost have a grown man fall on top of me earlier from a few stories up. So…”

“Okay, so maybe you needed saving from that.” But he doubted that he had needed to grab onto her the way that he had.

Or that he had needed to hold onto her just a tad longer than normal.

He was thankful that TK had been upstairs and hadn’t witnessed the whole thing.

He would surely have made some comment or shot a funky look in his direction.

“You okay?” She had that soft tone in her voice that was going to drag him in and he wasn’t going to be able to hold back.

Except he had to.

He still had 48 hours on his shift, as did she, and there was certainly not going to be any making out or sex of any kind happening while they were here.

“Yeah.” He nodded his head as he offered her a smile. “Just tired.”

“Go to bed.” She pointed at the clock on his office wall and chuckled. “It’s past your bedtime.”

“Ha ha ha.” He rolled his eyes but shot her a look nonetheless.

Had they had been anywhere but here he probably would’ve shut her up with a kiss by now.

“Goodnight Captain Strand.” She winked at him before pushing herself off the door and making her way down the hall.

She put a little extra pep in her step and he knew that she was swaying her hips a little extra just for him.

This woman was going to be the death of him.

And they had barely just started.

—

And then there had been the damn nightmares.

The damn hair loss nightmares.

He knew it was superficial and probably a little more immature than necessary but he couldn’t help it.

He loved his hair.

And the fact that Michelle seemed to love it too wasn’t helping calm his nerves.

He really didn’t want to go bald.

So after the third nightmare had woken him up he had given up on any hope of sleep.

Instead he had made himself a cup of tea and settled on one of the stools in the kitchen.

He was planning to just zone out until morning officially rolled around, or until another call came through.

But then Michelle was standing before him and she was quoting Hemingway and looking as soft as any person could possibly look.

He was going to damn well lose his mind if she stuck around right now.

“What’s said between Captains stays between Captains.” Oh was that so?

He could get used to that concept.

“I had a night terror…” Yeah, yeah he could admit it, no matter how embarrassing it was. “About losing my hair.”

He sounded so dumb.

He had told her about the cancer.

But he hadn’t told her about the hair treatments.

So there was that.

“I told you I thought you‘d look good bald.” Oh please, that was such a lie.

And why did she keep getting closer to him?

She did know that he had a hard enough time keeping his hands off of her during the day when the others were around right?

Much less when they were alone, at night, in the kitchen…

“That’s not what you said in the dream.” He had totally gone there.

Because while it may have just been the dream, the shocked and almost terrified look on her face when she had seen him bald had been too much for him.

“It sounds pretty human to me.” Okay, he guessed maybe that made sense. “You wanna have control of something you can’t.”

There were a lot of things he wanted control over right now.

His cancer being one of them.

His hair as well.

But he was really really starting to regret not having any control over what was going on between them.

Especially when she was right there and he could so easily lean across the counter and kiss her.

Temptation was never his friend.

And neither was restraint.

“You don’t wanna be an aging sex symbol.” Is that really how she saw him?

Just a sex symbol?

“You think I’m an aging sex symbol?” Two could play at this game.

He could call her out on her own words.

“Shut up.” And judging by the blush on her cheeks and the nervous laugh that escaped her lips, he had got her right where he wanted her.

And then she was telling him about the witch/therapist that she had seen and he was all of a sudden even more wrapped up in her than he had been before.

Though he wondered if that was even possible.

“I’m trying to find my sister.” He had no idea she had a sister.

In all the nights they had spent making out on her couch, all the times he had woken up in her bed, he had never once seen any evidence of a sister.

“Your sister?” He was intrigued if anything else.

“She disappeared three years ago.” Well damn, that was certainly not the answer he was expecting from her.

In fact, that wasn’t even close.

He figured that that was right up there with the likes of him having cancer.

So why she hadn’t bothered to tell him yet stung a little.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say.

I mean, what else was there to say?

The woman who he had been sleeping with for the past two months had just told him she had a sister.

A sister who was missing.

A sister that she went to a psychic to try and find.

He really didn’t have the words.

“She gave me a spell to help me find Iris.” So Iris was her sister.

He had heard her mention her once to Carlos, but it had been in passing and he hadn’t thought much of it.

Honestly, he hadn’t thought anything of it all.

“A magic spell?” That was just was he needed.

To wake up in the middle of the night and be cursed because Michelle uttered the magic words wrong.

She rattled off whatever the spell was and all Owen could think about was how incredibly crazy she sounded.

But honestly, she sounded so crazy that it just might work.

“It’s a citrus.” He probably didn’t need to know that, but he did. “So if nothing else, you’re gonna smell wonderful.”

Not that she didn’t smell wonderful anyway.

Then she was hopping down off the counter and making her way toward the stairs and he wanted to follow her so badly that it hurt.

“Hey, if you tell anybody what I told you tonight,” He didn’t know why he would, but he appreciated her warning, “you’ll die.”

Well gee thanks Michelle, that’s a comforting thought.

“Likewise.” He wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but that was all he had.

And he honestly didn’t think she would tell anyone about his irrational fear of losing his hair.

She hadn’t told anyone about his cancer after all.

She seemed to be proving herself to be rather trustworthy.

“Night Captain.” And then there was the little wave and the tilted head and the soft smirk and he felt his insides turn into mush.

This woman was too much for him sometimes.

And right now, was definitely one of those times.

—

The next morning the team had had the day off Judd had taken him out to the ranch.

And they had ridden horses and gotten all sentimental.

But what Judd had said stuck with him.

And he figured that it was worth a shot to try and slow down and focus on the simpler things in life.

He could stop thinking about losing his hair.

Right?

I mean, Judd was right, at least he looked good in the cowboy hat.

He kept the hat close by, sitting in his passenger seat as he finished his errands for the day.

It was almost mocking him.

Yet, at the same time, it was silently reminding him that he needed to get over himself and screw his head on straight.

And later that afternoon as he flipped through the photo album he kept by his bed, it stuck with him that he had a few choices to make.

Some really important ones.

So he had jumped in his car and driven to Michelle’s house, stopping outside as he took a few deep breaths.

She hadn’t answered but he knew where the key was, so he let himself inside.

“This is so dumb.” He heard her whisper as he stopped just outside the bathroom.

“Maybe.” He whispered back as he leaned against the door frame. “But it’s worth a shot right?”

He wasn’t sure if he was talking about her or himself in that moment, but either way, it was an important question to ask.

“I’m sure she’s probably somewhere laughing at me right now.” Her voice was soft but the tone was heavy.

If she hadn’t already started crying she had to be close.

“Possibly.” He knew nothing about her sister, but he guessed that if he had ever found out that his sister was doing something this crazy he’d definitely laugh at her. “But it’s for a good cause.”

She let out a soft chuckle as she stared at the picture in her hands.

“I miss you so much.” Yeah, the tears were definitely about to fall.

Part of him wanted to run because crying women were not his speciality.

But there was something about watching her shed her robe and sink into the tub that made his feet turn into stone.

He couldn’t move.

He couldn’t speak.

So instead he just stood there in silence and watched.

Watched as she sank down until everything but her hair was submerged under the foamy water.

Watched as she closed her eyes as the tears started rolling down her cheeks.

He was powerless to go anywhere.

Because if anything that Judd had said earlier had stuck in his mind more, it had been the words about thinking less of himself and thinking of himself less and all that jazz.

And suddenly, every thought in his head was consumed by the woman before him.

The woman who he barely knew, and yet, who he felt he knew better than most.

And all he wanted to do was to get to know her even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Comments make me happy.


	3. 1x03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Takes place during and after 1x03. Clearly not 100% canon.  
> *Also, Michelle and Carlos' friendship is my favorite.

Michelle wasn’t sure what exactly was going on between her and Owen but whatever it was, it was driving her crazy.

Sure they were sleeping together, of that much she couldn’t be more certain.

But she found herself falling for him in a way she never had before.

She wasn’t sure what to call it, or if she could even put a name on it, but it was something.

“Something on your mind Chica?” Michelle snapped her head up at the sound of Carlos’ voice.

She had completely lost herself in whatever was rattling around in her head.

“Uh. No. Sorry.” She was supposed to be spending the night hanging out with him.

The first night they’d had off together in two weeks had definitely called for beers and binging Food Network.

“You’ve been awfully distracted lately.” He offered her a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Something I should know about?”

He couldn’t possibly know about her and Owen, could he?

“Just thinking about Iris.” She didn’t like lying to him, he was her best friend after all, but she couldn’t tell him that she was sleeping with the Captain.

“Riiiight.” He didn’t believe her and she knew it.

She let out a sigh as she turned her attention back to the file in her lap.

She was thankful for the distraction it offered her.

Anything to get the good Captain off her her mind.

“I mean, what am I supposed to do with this?” She appreciated Carlos’ help more than she would ever be able to voice, but really, at this point, she felt like she was running in circles. “There’s thousands of trucks here, it’s ridiculous.”

Okay, so maybe not ridiculous.

They did live in Texas after all.

But at the same time, she was overwhelmed by all the information that was staring back at her right now.

“You said your witness saw Iris get into a blue pickup truck the night she disappeared.” Well, yes, technically she had said that. “That’s a list of every blue truck that was registered in the greater Austin metroplex at that time.”

Which was about a thousand more blue trucks than she needed.

“I mean, are you saying I should just give up?” She couldn’t give up, not until she had an answer.

Carlos had to know that, he had to respect that.

She didn’t know why he wasn’t fighting harder for Iris.

She had been his friend first.

“No.” Of course that’s not what he meant. “I’m saying you should start with the guy in Texas you know who doesn’t drive a blue pickup truck but who might know who did.”

He couldn’t possibly be suggesting that she talk to Dustin.

“Iris’ boyfriend, Dustin Shephard…” He was totally suggesting that.

“I’m sorry officer.” Oh she was going to get him for that. “Are you suggesting that I violate a restraining order?”

That was totally not what he was suggesting.

“Like you need any encouragement.” Carlos was a rat, a filthy, stinking rat. “I’m just saying that next time you do violate the restraining order, which you will, maybe be a little more polite and you might get a few questions answered before you get arrested.”

Maybe if Carlos would just stop arresting her it wouldn’t be such a problem.

“Not to that scumbag.” She would never understand what Iris saw in a jerk like Dustin Shephard.

“Well, if that scumbag is innocent,” Which he wasn’t, Michelle was certain of it, “he might have information that can help.”

She rolled her eyes before going on a rant, Carlos staring back at her with that sideways smirk and less-than-amused twinkle in his eyes.

“Maybe you need to swallow your pride.” He was one to talk.

“I’d rather swallow glass.” This wasn’t about her pride, this was about finding her sister and bringing justice to her, regardless of the situation.

“Right.” Carlos chuckled as he took a swig of his beer, watching her with a look that said he was on to her.

“I don’t drink beer.” Except when she was mad, or moody, or bored.

“Hey Carlos.” Great, now he was talking to himself, just what Michelle needed. “What’s the latest in your life? Seeing anybody? How interesting. Isn’t friendship fun?”

Yeah, it was, loads of fun alright.

“I’m sorry.” She was thankful that Carlos let her treat him like dirt sometimes, she certainly didn’t deserve him. “This hasn’t exactly been a two-way street lately.”

And the fact that she was hiding something as big as having a very, non-committed, sexual relationship with the fire captain wasn’t helping.

He chuckled but sank back against the cushions and eyed her softly.

“Hey Carlos.” She couldn’t help but smile as she turned to face him, echoing the words he had just said to her. “What is going on in your life? Are you seeing anyone?”

“No.” The words barely left her mouth before he blurted out his response, yeah, something was totally up with him. “I’m not. I don’t think.”

Okay so maybe she wasn’t the only one having issues in the dating world.

“You don’t think?” She couldn’t really judge him for not knowing because she didn’t know herself what was going on in her life. “What does that mean?”

“I met someone, we hooked up.” Oh really? “Then it got weird.”

Story of her fucking life man.

“Doesn’t it always get weird?” It always did for her.

Hell, her situation now was beyond weird.

“No Michelle.” It didn’t always get like that for Carlos though. “It doesn’t always get weird.”

Yes, yes it did.

“So…” She had to know more. “Tell me about this boy.”

“You know him actually.” Oh did she now? “TK Strand.”

Oh fuck.

It was a damn good thing that she didn’t have any beer in her mouth or she would’ve spit it clear across the room.

He couldn’t possibly have hooked up with TK.

“Nice.” No, it wasn’t nice, it was weird.

She and her best friend were both hooking up with a Strand.

This was going to be so incredibly awkward.

“Yeeeaaah.” Carlos was starting to blush and she bit her lip to keep from making it awkward.

She wanted to tell him so bad.

“He’s a ten.” Well the apple didn’t fall far from the tree then. “And now I kinda can’t get him out of my head.”

What was he, a fucking clone of his father?

How could they both be so incredibly obsessed with these men that they barely knew?

“So why don’t you ask him out?” She really should take her own goddamn advice on that one. 

“Oh no.” Carlos shook his head and she totally got it. “He’d probably ghost me. I just hate being the one doing the chasing.”

Didn’t she know it.

And chasing after a Strand was fucking exhausting.

“Why?” She got it though, sometimes it was nice to be chased. “You’re the one with handcuffs.”

She wondered if he’d let her borrow them sometime.

“It’s…” He chuckled as he stared back at her, smiling when she waggled her eyebrows.

“What were you just saying about swallowing your pride?” Well damn, she was really preaching to the choir tonight wasn’t she.

“Shut up Michelle.” He rolled his eyes before taking a swig of his beer and she laughed.

She knew he hated having his own words used against him.

“So what about you?” He turned back toward her and tilted his head. “You seeing anyone lately?”

“Um…” She knew she should tell him, it was the right thing to do. “You promise not to let this get weird?”

“Get weird?” He made a face at her as he leaned forward and set his beer on the table. “As long as you don’t say you’re sleeping with TK…”

It was damn sure close enough.

“Not TK…” She huffed as she tilted her head toward the ceiling. “The other Strand.”

“The other Strand?” Yeah, that was it, don’t say his name, makes it less, personal. “Oooohhhh…?”

“Yeah, oh.” She scrunched her face up as she looked back toward him, studying his face for any clue as to how he was feeling. 

“How long?” Why did he have to ask that question?

“Um…” Did she lie about that one, I mean, she was already being honest with him. “Since that night at the Honky Tonk.”

Carlos’ eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

“It’s nothing serious, its just sex.” Her words didn’t seem to help him much because he just sat there and stared at her without saying a word.

She had made it awkward hadn’t she.

“Carlos… say something.” She couldn’t stand the silence.

She needed to know what his thoughts on this were.

Because her thoughts on the whole situation were not good.

“I… wow.” Okay, that was, something. “Are you being safe?”

“Oh Jesus Christ Carlos.” Of course he would go there.

He didn’t say anything in response to her exclamation though and he just stared her down with his interrogation face, making it very hard for her to not break.

He knew she hated that face.

“Yes Carlos.” He nodded his head in satisfaction and she rolled her eyes.

He was such a big brother when he wanted to be.

“Good.” He reached out and grabbed his beer again. “I don’t need anymore nieces or nephews right now.”

She growled as she reached out and swatted at his arm, eliciting a laugh from him as he ducked away.

She didn’t know if now was the time to say more or not, so she just sat there and stared off into space for a while, waiting for him to break the silence again.

“Are you two dating?” Well he wasn’t wasting any time at all was he?

“No.” The first time she didn’t have to hesitate on an answer.

“And why not?” Oh for fucks sake, if she knew the answer she wouldn’t be so damn worried about it.

“You’ve met him.” She wanted to add in the fact that he also knew his son, who was apparently, just like him. “Does he really seem like a ‘dating’ kind of guy?”

Carlos chuckled as he shook his head back and forth.

“All guys can become ‘dating guys’ if they find the right person.” Ugh, Mr. Romantic had shown up and taken over and now she was doomed.

“Okay, so I’m not the right person then.” Saying those words hurt a little and she sighed as she sank back against the couch.

“Oh hush.” Of course, Carlos was always there to save the day. “You should ask him out then. Like, on a real date. Not just the after date stuff.”

“Nah.” God she wished she had the courage to do that too. “I don’t wanna mess up a good thing.”

“Having sex, and only sex, with him is a good thing?” Honestly, it was the best thing she’d had in a long while.

“Yes Carlos, it is.” She turned to face him and raised an eyebrow. “I imagine that you’re not just hooked on TK because he’s easy on the eyes…”

He looked like a deer in the headlights once he put two and two together and she reached out and patted his thigh.

“Best. Sex. Ever.” She whispered with a chuckle.

“Yeeeaaah…” He nodded his head in agreement and she couldn’t help but busting out laughing.

Carlos joined in after a minute and she couldn’t help but feel incredibly thankful for their friendship in that moment.

—

The next night Michelle had been sitting on the couch, halfway through a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, when her doorbell rang.

“Who the…?” It was almost eleven at night and while she should be in bed trying to sleep she was entirely too invested in the episode of Project Runway she had started.

Letting out a sigh she set her container down and paused the TV, making her way toward the door slowly.

This was one of those moments where she really wished she kept some kind of weapon nearby.

Although, if she had learned anything from her job, its that people who wanted to hurt you, rarely rang the doorbell first.

Standing up on her tip toes she peered through the peep hole, letting out a sigh when she saw Owen standing on the porch.

She didn’t know why he was here so late, but she surely couldn’t leave him out there alone.

“Owen…” She pulled the door open and tilted her head to the side. “Whatcha doing?”

He looked up from whatever he was staring at on her porch and shrugged.

“Right. Okay.” She stepped back and gestured for him to come inside, watching as he moved slowly through the front door, stopping in the foyer. “Would you like something to drink? Beer? Water?”

He shook his head and she sighed.

Well this was going well.

“What’s going on?” She moved around him so that she could see his face.

“Just uh…” Well damn, she’d never seen him speechless before. “Didn’t wanna be alone I guess.”

That was a new one.

“Ooookay.” She sighed again and motioned toward the couch. “Let me clean this up and we can…”

He reached out and laid his hand on her arm, causing her to turn back toward him.

“No. I’m…” She raised an eyebrow as she waited for him to continue, her stomach in knots as she waited for him to say whatever was on his mind. “I’m not here for that.”

“For sex?” Well dammit Michelle, just say it like it’s nothing why don’t you?

“Yeah.” He nodded his head and she caught sight of the dark circles under his eyes for the first time since he’d stepped in. “I just… you can go back to your show. I won’t bother you.”

She felt her heart skip a beat at the way he said it.

Like he had ever been a bother to her before.

“How about we at least move into the bedroom?” Her couch was anything but comfortable and if she had to hazard a guess, he wanted something more supportive than a twenty year old bargain outlet sofa. “That couch is the farthest from comfy.”

He nodded his head in agreement and she moved to clean up her mess, shoving her ice cream back in the freezer and tossing the empty water bottles in the recycle bin.

“Hope you don’t mind,” She moved toward the bedroom after having turned the TV off, making sure that Netflix had saved her spot on the show, “but I’m really into this episode…”

“I’ll probably be asleep in five minutes.” He blurted out, his face reflecting his words.

He was downright exhausted and she could tell.

“Okay.” She moved into the bedroom and motioned toward the bed, watching as he stripped down to his boxers and climbed under the covers. “I’m gonna make sure everything’s locked up, I’ll be right back.”

She didn’t receive a reply so she moved through the house quickly, turning off the lights as she went, stepping into the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed.

She figured she might as well be prepared in case he changed his mind about the ‘no sex’ thing.

But when she stepped into the bedroom she saw that he already had his eyes closed and was snuggled under the covers.

So maybe he meant what he said and he really was there just because he didn’t want to be alone.

Turning off the light she climbed into bed and turned the TV on, finding the show and starting the episode where she left off.

“You comfy? Warm enough?” She turned to look at him and he cracked an eye open and smiled softly.

“I’m good.” He whispered, his left hand reaching out for hers as he closed his eye once more.

“Okay.” She whispered back, squeezing his hand as she turned her attention to the TV.

She expected him to drop her hand, but he didn’t.

And even when the episode ended twenty minutes later, and he was far into sleep, his hand was still wrapped tightly around hers.

She hoped that this was a sign.

A sign of what, she didn’t know though.

—

“You wanna know what’s really awkward?” No Michelle didn’t want to know, but she supposed that ignoring Carlos’ question would just make things worse.

“What Carlos?” She could only imagine where this conversation was going to go and she doubted that she wanted to hear what he had to say.

“Knowing that your best-friend is having sex with someone that you have to see, every, single, day.” He glared at her from his spot in the doorway to her office and she chuckled.

This was better than she thought.

“Really now?” She totally got it though, she hadn’t been able to look at TK the same way knowing that Carlos was so into him.

She was about ready to play match maker if they didn’t their acts together soon.

“Yes Michelle, it is.” He sounded grumpy and she sighed.

No one liked grumpy Carlos.

Especially not her.

“Why is that?” She wanted to know why it was bothering him so much though.

“Because you shared details with me, about your sex life, with him,” He did a not so discreet nod in the direction of the captain’s office and she hissed, “that I didn’t need to know.”

She felt her cheeks heat up as she swallowed.

She must have been really drunk the other night.

“Sorry.” She said through gritted teeth. “You know how I get when I’m drunk.”

He sighed as he dropped down to sit in the chair across from her.

“Yes. Yes I do.” She watched as he stared her down and she offered him a smile.

“Well, I’ll have you know Carlos, that Owen came over last night.” She heard him growl as he started shaking his head back and forth.

“I don’t wanna know.” He looked scared, terrified even, and she chuckled.

“He came over last night…” Carlos was literally holding his breath and she sighed, “and we did nothing.”

He let out the breath as he shook his head with a confused look.

“Nothing?” Yeah, she was just as shocked as he was by it.

“Yes. Nothing.” She crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned back against her chair.

“Like, nothing? No sex?” She shook her head back and forth and he huffed. “Really?”

“Really.” Yeah, really. “We slept.”

“Slept?” Wasn’t that what she had just said?

Was she not speaking clearly or something?

“Yes Carlos, slept.” She let out a sigh and leaned forward, her arms falling to rest on her desk as she laid her head in her hands. “He came over and we slept.”

“Well that’s not…” He sounded just as confused as she felt.

“Right?” He didn’t need to finish his sentence for her to know exactly what he was trying to say. “I was in the middle of Project Runway and he just showed up. Said he wasn’t there for sex. And that was it.”

“Wait wait wait.” Carlos held up his hands as he raised an eyebrow and chewed on his bottom lip, a sure fire sign that he was about to say something mind blowing. “He actually told you he wasn’t there for sex?”

“Yes.” In a manner of speaking anyway. “We fell asleep holding hands.”

She sounded like a lovesick teenager and she hated it.

“Well isn’t that the cutest damn thing I’ve ever heard?” He was a sarcastic asshole and she was going to kick his butt later.

“Shut up Carlos.” But really, it was kind of cute.

“So no sex?” He was really stuck on that part wasn’t he?

“No sex.” She shook her head back and forth as she offered him a smile and a shrug.

“Was he there when you wake up?” That, that was a different story.

“No.” She hadn’t really felt that weird about it though, it wasn’t the first time she had woken up to an empty bed.

“What the…?” Okay, so maybe it made her feel a little weird. “That seems so… random…”

“You’re telling me!” She saw Owen’s head turn in the direction of her office at the sound of her raised voice and she sank down, hoping he didn’t get curious.

“Has he said anything about it today?” She shook her head ‘no’ once more and watched as Carlos furrowed his brow. “He’s a strange man.”

“I don’t get it.” She really, really didn’t get it, not at all. “It’s been purely physical up until now. Just sex. Just… fun. And then last night…”

“He came over to fall asleep holding your hand?” Yeah, cause that didn’t sound crazy at all.

“Pretty much.” She wondered if he had had too much drink or something.

Or maybe he was on something.

“Weird.” Carlos’ response was pretty much the only way to sum things up.

“Yeah.” She nodded her head as she caught sight of Owen waving ‘goodbye’ from the hallway.

She gave him a little wave and smiled, watching as he smiled back before heading downstairs.

“You are so gone girl.” She snapped her head in Carlos’ direction and glared at him.

“You take that back.” It was like they were kids again and he was picking on her for having a crush on a boy ten years older than her.

She couldn’t help it that Timothy Gomes was the cutest thing she’d ever seen.

Carlos just chuckled as he leaned back in the chair and shook his head back and forth.

“Take it back Carlos!” He couldn’t be saying things like that because things like that couldn’t be true.

Could they?

Was she really that far gone?

All because of Owen Strand?

“Fuck.” She whispered, watching as Carlos nodded his head when he realized that she realized that she was a complete goner.

And all because of Owen Strand.

—

And that’s why when Judd invited her to the Honky Tonk that night she had hesitated.

She figured Owen probably wouldn’t be there, not after the day he’d had, but was it really worth the risk?

She guessed that maybe a few drinks wouldn’t hurt either way.

So she had carefully picked out a dress that she thought he would like, just in case.

And she did her hair and her make up, just in case.

“Hey.” And there was that voice, that sexy voice. “You took my seat.”

She didn’t care.

It’s not like he needed it.

“Did I?” What was a little shameless flirting going to hurt? “Well, I guess there’s only one solution…”

Going home would have been one, but where would have been the fun in that.

So instead she found herself ordering a bottle of tequila for them and watched as he downed shot after shot after shot.

She had never seen him drink like this.

Something was up.

“You had enough yet?” She knew that the tequila wouldn’t get him talking though, it never did.

Instead it made him flirty, and handsy, neither of which she minded.

“Hardly.” He groaned out, pouring another shot for them both.

“When you’re face down on the floor, don’t call 911.” Or, he could, but she would at least make fun of him before she helped him up.

“Captain, I know my limits.” Oh did he now? “And I’m just getting started.”

Was he talking about the liquor or her?

Because the way his eyes were twinkling made her think he was talking about the latter.

“I know why you moved to Texas…” No, no she didn’t, but she figured a little flirting might get her what she wanted. “It’s the only state big enough to contain your ego.”

Or maybe she wasn’t going to flirt.

“Well it wasn’t for the sushi.” Yeah she figured as much.

“You think very highly of yourself.” Not that she could blame him, he was pretty damn amazing.

“Maybe, but let’s be honest.” Oh yes Owen, let’s. “You’re not exactly a paragon of humility yourself Captain.”

Oh. Oh.

They were going there were they?

“Are you calling me cocky, Captain?” Oh damn, they were totally going there.

“I’ve seen you in the field.” So he was watching her. “You’re cocky, but you wear it well.”

She wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean.

“Thank you.” That was all she could come up with because she was too busy trying not to kiss him breathless right then and there.

He nodded his head softly as he leaned against the bar.

“So, you’ve been watching me?” She watched as he shook his head and chuckled.

“That’s not what I meant.” Of course it wasn’t.

“Then what did you mean?” She knew he watched her though, she could feel his eyes on her sometimes.

It was creepy, and yet, oddly reassuring and comforting at the same time.

“I just… I’ve noticed your work.” Oh please.

“Right.” She nodded her head as he let out a sigh.

“You’re good at what you do Michelle.” Well that was a compliment, even if what he had said before was a little, weird. “No need to hide from it.”

“I don’t.” And she didn’t.

She knew she was good at what she did.

There was no need to be ashamed of it.

“I know.” He tipped his head in her direction and smiled. “That’s what I mean.”

“So you didn’t mean that you check out my ass sometimes when the others aren’t looking?” Well there was the tequila talking.

It took it long enough.

“Oh no,” He chuckled as he offered her a wink, “I’m always checking out your ass.”

She snorted as she bit back a yelp, her hand swatting at him as she watched him laugh.

“I can’t believe you admitted to that!” He had no shame.

“No reason to lie about it.” He shrugged as he downed another shot, eyeing her sideways as he smiled. “It’s a very nice ass.”

She jabbed his arm as she huffed, plopping down on her stool and staring straight ahead.

He let another chuckle before going silent, his eyes fixed on the TV behind the bar.

The silence was comfortable, not awkward or weird or forced.

But she still hated it.

He was probably the first guy that she actually enjoyed talking with, as well as having sex with.

“You know how I was telling you about how I’ve been looking for my missing sister?” He turned his attention back toward her and she held her breath.

“Yeah…” He seemed genuinely interested in what she was about to say.

That was also a first.

“I went to see her old boyfriend, Dustin Shephard.” Just saying Dustin’s name made her skin crawl. “I’ve always thought that it was him.”

She watched as Owen stood, his body angling toward her, moving ever so close. 

It was almost as if he was trying to protect her from something.

“But now I think that maybe I was wrong.” It was so hard to say those words out loud because if that was the case, then she had spent the last three years hating the wrong man. “So I had to just, put my ego aside and… and go over there and ask for his help.”

She shook her head as she took a deep breath.

Talking about this shouldn’t be so hard.

Especially not with all the alcohol flowing through her veins right now.

“He told you to pound sand?” Pretty much.

“Yeah, basically.” Which had hurt, a lot. “And the worst part about it is that I don’t know it it’s cause he’s actually guilty or because I’ve been treating him so horribly like he is guilty, for all these years, and it’s driving me crazy.”

Amongst other things.

“Well, maybe he’ll come around.” Well thanks Owen, that was helpful.

She rolled her eyes as she stared down at the empty shot glass in her hands.

“I doubt it.” There was no convincing Dustin to help her, not now, not after everything.

“Maybe he’ll change.” Nope, never. “You never know. People can surprise you.”

There was that damn twinkle in his eye again.

He had to be talking about her this time.

Right?

—

“Captain…” Owen’s voice was the last one she expected to hear as she finished restocking the rig.

He should’ve gone home hours ago.

“Hey.” She offered him a smile but scowled when she saw the serious look on his face.

“You got a second?” Uh oh.

“Yeah sure.” She couldn’t wait to hear this. “What’s up?”

“You remember the fella you told me about at the bar, Dustin Shephard?” Oh for fuck’s sake, what did he do? “Kinda ran into him last night.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“What?” She was going to kill him. “Where?”

“His house.” So that’s why he didn’t want to go home with her after they drowned themselves in tequila and shared a poorly executed line dance. “I got his address from dispatch.”

Oh Jesus Christ she was going to murder him and bury the body in a very, very discreet location.

“Owen!” His eyes got wide as she hissed out his name. “The man has a restraining order against me!”

She was so going to get thrown in jail for this.

“See, that would have been good information to have shared last night.” Yes, yes he was right, she definitely should’ve told him that part first.

“Oh my God.” Hopefully they would at least send Carlos to arrest her, then she could go peacefully.

“I thought I could have a civil conversation with him.” There was nothing civil about talking to Dustin Shepard though. “Things got heated. He said some things, I said some things.”

What kind of things could he have possibly said?

“And I kinda lost it.” Oh goody.

“You lost it how exactly?” Oh shit.

“I maybe kicked his ass a little bit.” She felt something inside her twinge with, what was that, pride?

She had never had a guy fight for her before.

Ever.

Unless you counted Judd or Carlos.

But in this context, she didn’t.

It felt… romantic?

No, that wasn’t right.

“What? You assaulted him?” And that feeling was gone and replaced with complete and utter dread. “He could press charges against both of us!”

“But you didn’t have anything to do with it.” True, but she knew how it worked.

Crazy lady stalking her missing sister’s ex-boyfriend versus said ex-boyfriend who wasn’t at all insane, yeah, she didn’t stand a chance.

“Who’s gonna believe that?” No one, the answer was no one. 

“You’re right.” She… what. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.”

Of course he was.

“I’m not some damsel in need of saving.” Woah Michelle, where did that come from?

“You’re 100% right.” Well that was also a first. “What I did was presumptuous, inappropriate, and probably a little bit sexist.”

He sighed as he scratched at the back of his head and she huffed, offering him a glare.

“I’m going through some stuff right now.” And so was she!

“Get a therapist.” She hissed out, watching as he squinted his eyes at her and nodded his head.

She got ready to continue when Dustin appeared behind him, his hands shoved in his pockets and his head down.

Uh oh.

“What’s up?” Oh for the love of God Owen shut up.

She watched as Dustin shared a look between the two of them.

“Can we talk?” This couldn’t be good.

But instead of answering with that she simply nodded her head, gesturing toward the stairs.

“My office is upstairs.” She hopped down out of the ambulance, shooting a pointed look in Owen’s direction before she lead Dustin away.

This had better not go as poorly as she imagined it would.

—

Her conversation with Dustin hadn’t gone as horribly as she imagined.

Instead, it had actually ended whether well.

And while she was still reeling over all the things he said, she was glad to have heard them.

Maybe they would actually help her find some truth behind where Iris went after all.

After Dustin had left she finished the last few tasks on her list before heading home for the night.

Her heart and her head heavy as she drove home on auto pilot.

When she pulled up to her house though she was shocked to see Owen sitting on the front stoop, an open beer in his hands as he gave her a slight wave.

Sighing, she pulled her Jeep into the driveway beside his and killed the engine, pausing for a moment before getting out.

She didn’t know if seeing him was what she wanted right now.

But then again, seeing him was probably the only thing that was going to keep her from completely losing it right now.

“So how much trouble am I in?” His voice was soft as he asked his question, and when she shut the door behind her and looked up he was still sitting in the same spot, his eyes giving her a once over as he waited for an answer.

“None.” Thank God. “Just don’t ever do something stupid like that again.”

“Yes ma’am.” He tilted his beer toward her and offered her a smile, chuckling when she rolled her eyes at him as she made her way up the walk. “Beer?”

“No thanks.” She really wasn’t in the mood to drink, which was very unlike her.

“Okay.” He took what must have been the last swig of from the bottle in his hand and then set it down beside his leg. “Want me to leave?”

He must have been able to sense her tension and aggravation because she certainly hadn’t made any comments about his presence.

“Kinda.” She hoped she wasn’t being rude by saying that. “I just… I kinda wanna be alone.”

He nodded his head before standing, wiping his hands on his jeans before grabbing the empty bottle and shoving it into the six pack he had hidden behind him.

“Well, let me know if you change your mind.” She could hear the disappointment in his voice and she sighed.

She was so bad at the emotional parts of relationships.

Not that they were in a relationship or anything.

“Owen…” She reached out for him as he walked past, her hand falling to his elbow as he stopped and let out a sigh. “I’m just really tired.”

She wasn’t lying there.

She hadn’t exactly slept last night.

Despite all the tequila she had consumed.

“Okay.” He nodded his head and did his best to offer her a smile.

But it didn’t reach his eyes like it normally did and she felt her heart do a weird twitchy thing that she didn’t like.

“I’ll see you this weekend?” Surely he’d be down for hooking up on their long weekend off.

“Sure.” And then he was walking away from her and climbing into his Jeep, backing out the driveway before she could get in another word.

Well that certainly hadn’t gone the way she’d hoped it would.


	4. 1x04 part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So episode 1x04 got away from me and I wound up having to break it down into two different parts, here is part 1. This is told from both Owen and Michelle’s POV, so I tried to divide it as best as possible to reflect that.   
> **Clearly not 100% canon.

Owen was really starting to hate this whole chemo thing.

And while he understood that he still had a long way to go, he was over it.

Especially after the puking last week.

And the pounding headache and the annoying ache in his left hand left behind from the IV.

Yeah, he was totally over it.

And he had sought comfort from Michelle when it was all said and done.

And she had seemed to have no clue how to handle it.

He guessed maybe the whole jumping from ‘friends with benefits’ to ‘something more’ was probably something they should have talked about first.

But he couldn’t blame a man for trying.

Right?

“So how was it?” Ugh, a voice.

A voice that sounded all too familiar.

He couldn’t get his chemo-fogged brain to put two and two together right away so he waited.

“Wayne, right?” That sounded about right.

“Yeah, that’s right.” Well at least he was able to pull that one together.

Making conversation with the man might be a completely different story.

“So, how was it?” He wasn’t entirely sure what the man was asking about, but he seemed pretty damn interested in his response.

“What the treatment, or the puking?” Because both had been downright terrible.

He was honestly just thankful that he hadn’t puked while at Michelle’s.

She definitely would not have found that sexy.

“Oh hell, I figured you got the puking down pretty good from the looks of ya.” Did he really look that bad?

Because no one at the firehouse had commented on his appearance the last few days.

“No.” Wayne answered his own question and Owen was thankful. “I meant coming clean. You were gonna tell your team about the situation.”

He was?

He didn’t recall that being a part of the conversation.

“Mmm no.” He definitely wasn’t ready to do that. “I didn’t say I was…”

I mean, telling Michelle was one thing.

She probably would’ve figured it out on her own anyway.

“Oh that’s right, that was my advice.” It wasn’t a bad suggestion, Owen just wasn’t ready for it. “Which you didn’t take.”

Judd knowing was enough, for now.

“I also prognosticated that you were gonna go a little crazy.” Well he definitely done that.

“Yeah, you did.” Crazy was probably understatement, especially judging by the look of absolute shock on Michelle’s face when he told her what he had done to Dustin.

“You went a little crazy didn’t you?” Eh, what’s a little?

“I went a little crazy.” He couldn’t help but laugh though. 

In hindsight, the situation was kind of hilarious.

“Well, that happens.” He just hoped it didn’t happen too much more, he really couldn’t afford to get arrested.

Or worse, have Michelle hating him.

“So you told me…” Yeah, he had been warned.

But the large amount of shots he had done beforehand, probably didn’t help the situation.

“Now you’re feeling sorry for yourself.” Not really.

“Not really.” He felt more sorry for Michelle than he did for himself.

“Well, I mean, it’s normal.” Okay, so maybe he was feeling a little sorry for himself about the cancer.

But not about the going crazy part.

Sometimes, you just had to get it all out.

“I mean, a guy like you, living a clean life,” His life really wasn’t all the clean… “probably do yoga, haven’t had a carb since Y2K.”

Okay, so maybe he was living a clean life.

And damn did some carbs sound good right about now.

“There is such a thing as good carbs.” And those carbs didn’t exist in the donuts he had been daydreaming about ever since Michelle and Judd had fought over the last chocolate sprinkle one earlier that morning. 

“You’re doing the right thing is all I’m saying.” Sometimes it didn’t feel that way though. “And now you’re asking yourself ‘why me?’ There’s no good answer to that question.”

“I wasn’t asking it.” He really didn’t know why him, but he didn’t really ask about it either.

It happened.

It was an act of, whatever.

God? Fate? Bad timing?

Whatever it was, it had happened.

And it was his burden to deal with.

“But cancer is a great leveler… No respecter of persons.” Oh that he knew for sure. “It comes for the young and the old. The rich, the poor, the wicked, same as the good.”

Wayne had a point.

But he was just thankful that it was him and not someone like TK.

Or Michelle.

God that would surely kill him.

“We all have our own ‘why me?’ moments.” He was sure they all did.

“Yeah, this wasn’t mine.” But he hadn’t reached his ‘why me?’ moment, not yet anyway. “Mine was when the towers came down.”

Oh fuck, he was gonna get sentimental and shit.

He wasn’t prepared for this.

“You were there?” Was he ever. “9/11.”

“New York City Fire and Rescue.” Damn straight. “Ladder 252.”

“Son, you’re a hero.” He was far from that.

He was just doing his job.

Just like every other man and woman out there.

Just the same as the ones that lost their lives that day.

Just the same as the ones who lived.

“No, the real heroes didn’t make it out that day.” Like his team, his comrades, his friends.

Like his best-friend.

Who’s body had never been recovered and was still somewhere in a pile of rubble.

He was probably long gone by now.

“Well it seems to me like you didn’t either.” Part of him would never come out there.

But most of him, most of him was here?

Right?

“Working on it.” That was part of the reason he had made the move to Austin.

To start over.

Not just for TK, but for himself as well.

Finding a station as good as the 126.

Finding friends.

Finding Michelle.

Those were all stepping stones toward getting back to normal.

But of course, cancer liked to step in and fuck things up.

He guessed that was just how cancer rolled.

—

He had slept through the rest of his treatment and when the nurse woke him and told him it was time to go he had muttered out a ‘thank you’ before slowly making his way toward the door.

He knew he wasn’t in any shape to drive home, but he had no choice.

Until he saw a familiar Jeep parked in the front row, the brunette leaning against it shooting him a soft smile and a wave.

“Figured you could use a ride home cowboy.” He rolled his eyes as he silently said a ‘thank you’ to whoever might be listening.

“Thanks.” He wanted to argue, but he knew better.

“Come on, you look like hell.” She reached out and took his arm in her hand, gently guiding him to the passenger side and opening the door.

He didn’t even mutter out a sarcastic reply.

Instead he climbed inside and leaned his head back, his eyes closing against the bright sunlight.

The next thing he knew they were pulling up outside his house and she was gently shaking him awake.

“Do you want me to come in?” Did he ever.

“It’s up to you.” He could barely make it out the car before the world started to spin. “Probably not gonna be much company.”

He felt her hand on his back and he sighed when she rubbed up and down gently.

She was going to make him fall asleep right here if she didn’t stop.

“Come on.” She walked him to the door and took the keys from his hands, unlocking the lock with the first guess.

“How did you know which key to use?” Had she been watching him unlock the door this whole time?

Not that it bothered him, it was just, odd.

“You only have key on the ring that looks like it would open a house Owen.” Or maybe he was just stupid.

“Right.” He nodded his head slowly, but it was mistake, because the next thing he knew, the whole world was spinning.

And then, so was he.

“Woah…” Michelle held him upright to the best of her ability but they both stumbled a little.

A little enough for her to smack her shoulder on the table by the door.

Which was definitely enough to leave a bruise.

She let out a string of curses but she never let go of him, pulling him back upright as she tried to steady him.

“Sorry about that.” As if he didn’t feel horrible enough already…

“It’s okay.” She whispered, gently pulling him toward the stairs.

“No. No stairs.” He didn’t shake his head this time but he certainly thought about it. “Couch is fine.”

“That couch…” She gestured to the object to her left and shook her head. “No way in hell Owen. You need a bed.”

“I don’t think I’m making it up those steps Michelle.” He barely got the words out before he felt his stomach turn.

And then he was making a mad dash for the downstairs bathroom.

Which he luckily made it too just in time to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Goddamn he felt like shit.

“I’ll carry you if I have to.” He hadn’t expected her to still be there.

What sane woman stuck around after witnessing that kind of a show?

“Couch is fine.” He felt like he was going to pass out. “Really.”

He heard her sigh but then she was gently pulling him to stand and was pressing a cold washcloth against his face.

When the hell had she gotten that wet?

She didn’t speak after that though, just guided him slowly to the couch, helping him to sit down as he let out a moan.

His whole body hadn’t hurt like this last time.

He waited for her to speak but she didn’t, instead she gently pushed him to lay down, pulling his tennis shoes off slowly and placing them by the table.

And then she was grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and laying it over him.

“Sleep Owen.” He couldn’t make words form in his throat and he knew that a nod was out of the question so he offered her a small smile, which she returned as she tucked the blanket in around him. “I’ll stay for a bit, just in case you need me.”

He really didn’t expect that from her.

If this was just sex, if they were simply just ‘friends with benefits’, weren’t they doing this all wrong?

Because this, this right here, it looked a lot like dating.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Fuck, were she and Owen dating?

Because from where Michelle was standing, it sure as hell looked like it.

But they couldn’t be, could they?

Sure they were sleeping together.

And sure they enjoyed going out and being together.

And she was there to take care of him and he was there to fight for her.

But did that mean they were dating?

“You really don’t have to cook me anything before you leave?” Owen’s voice startled her and she looked up from her phone with a sigh.

“Good, because I can’t cook.” She offered him a soft smile when he raised an eyebrow at her. “I ordered you some Chinese. It’ll be here in twenty minutes.”

“Oh jeez, I meant like, a sandwich or something Michelle.” She shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and moved toward the couch. “You didn’t have to go and order me something.”

“You need something filling, and not too fatty.” Better yet, he needed to put a little meat on his bones.

She wasn’t blind to how thin he was starting to look.

She knew chemo was the key factor in that, but the fact that he ate like a college cheerleader trying to stay thin for her next weigh in was starting to show.

“Chinese is fatty.” She placed the water on the table and shook her head. “I can’t keep up with my girlish figure if I keep eating that stuff.”

“It’s Texas Owen, you’re not supposed to have a girlish figure.” She watched as he sighed and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Besides, you need to put some food in your system. You’ve barely eaten the past few days.”

“Keeping tabs on me?” He didn’t sound offended, but he didn’t sound happy about it either.

“Yes. Yes I am.” And so what if she was?

Someone had to do it.

And if he wasn’t going to tell TK about the cancer so that he could help look after him, then she’d just take care of him herself.

“I’m fine Michelle.” Like hell he was.

“Right.” She was being sarcastic, and maybe a little bitchy, but she didn’t care.

She needed him to be okay.

“I’ve gotta get going. I’m already late.” She hadn’t noticed the time until she saw the baseball game on TV end and a new one start.

Her mother was going to kill her if she was late for dinner, again.

“Hot date?” He sounded jealous and it made something inside her stir with, what was that, pride?

“Dinner with my mom.” She grabbed her keys and phone from the table, sighing when she saw a missed call from the woman in question. “Call me if you need me though, you hear?”

“I will.” He nodded his head as he sank back against the cushions. “Thanks for everything.”

“Anytime.” She got ready to step away from him when he reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her back toward him. 

“Owen…” She didn’t get anything else out though before his lips were pressed against hers, his hands settling on her waist as he tugged her into his lap.

Well this was certainly going to make her later than she had planned.

But kissing him was like a drug.

A drug that she was beyond addicted too.

“I need to go.” She whispered after a few minutes, her forehead falling to his as she tried to catch her breath.

“Can’t your mom take a rain check?” If only.

“No.” She hadn’t seen her mom in weeks, if she missed this dinner, she’d never hear the end of it. “I’ll see you on shift.”

He let out a sigh but nodded his head, his hands relaxing their grip against her hips as he pulled back.

“Be safe out there.” She could hear the rain hitting the windows and she prayed that the storm passed quickly.

The last thing she wanted was to be stranded at her mom’s place all night.

“I will.” She leaned in and pressed one more lingering kiss to his lips, a smile forming on her lips when she heard him whimper slightly.

“Not fair.” He teased, a pout appearing as she pulled back, her fingers running through his hair as she stood.

“Behave and maybe there’s more where that came from for this weekend.” She winked and he chuckled and she felt a tug on her heart.

She was pretty sure this was considered dating.

“Goodbye Michelle.” She knew that if she stayed any longer they’d wind up naked on the couch, so she squeezed his hand and pulled away completely, making her way to the door slowly.

When she turned back he was doing his best to avoid her gaze and she chuckled.

“Bye Owen.” She offered him a wave, which he returned, and then she was on her way.

—

Her mother was standing on the porch waiting for her, her phone in her hand as her eyes scanned the street.

“Where have you been?” No ‘hello’ or ‘it’s nice to see you’, she could already tell this night was off to a great start.

“I was helping a friend with something.” She contemplated blaming it on Carlos, but she knew her mom would just double check behind her if she dragged him into this.

“A friend?” And here it begins. “You don’t have any friends.”

“A friend from work mom.” She did to have friends.

She had Carlos.

And Judd and Grace.

And now she had Owen.

Although, she guessed that Owen was probably considered more than a friend at this point.

“A male friend?” Of course she would have to go there.

“Yes mom, he happens to be a man.” A very sexy man who she was slowly falling for.

Fuck, did she really just think that?

She prayed she didn’t accidentally say it out loud.

“Interesting…” She ducked inside before her mom could start another line of questioning.

The house smelled great and Michelle stopped and took a deep breath.

Whatever her mom had ordered to eat was making her mouth water.

“Okay, so these are short rib enchiladas,” Well that just sounded yummy, “with a, what is it? Oaxaca mole reduction.”

That was a mouthful.

But so was the amazing flavor of whatever she had just taken a bite of.

“Who are you and what you done with my mother?” Her father had always been the cook in the family, and after he had passed, it had been Iris.

But as for her and her mother?

They were never the cooking type.

In fact, she was one to burn water, as Carlos liked to often remind her.

“I’m taking this cooking class down in the warehouse district?” Well that explained it. “You should come with me?”

Why? So she could embarrass herself in front of a bunch of strangers.

No thank you.

“Well, you know it’s tough with my work.” And now she had Owen… “Cooking’s not really my thing.”

That was true.

She could always order take out.

Or better yet, she could make Owen for her.

Owen loved to cook.

“Yeah, it was more of your sister’s domain.” It had always calmed Iris, something that Michelle never understood.

Cooking stressed her out.

But for Iris, it somehow seemed to bring peace.

“Um…” Oh God she couldn’t believe she was going to ask this. “I was wondering if maybe after… if I could go look in the shed at some of her old stuff.”

“Why would you wanna do that?” She knew her mom wouldn’t be happy about this.

Carlos had warned her.

She had warned herself.

But apparently she was a glutton for punishment these days.

“I’ve got something Mama, a lead.” Well, she sort of had a lead. “I went by Dustin’s house and his neighbor told me that he saw Iris leave the night she disappeared in a blue truck.”

She should probably leave out the part where Owen threatening the man was pretty much the only reason Dustin even spoke to her.

“And he told me that she had some new friends that she was hanging out with just before she disappeared.” She knew it was crazy to say any of this to her mom, but she couldn’t help it. “He said he’d never met them, but they seemed shady to him.”

And all of this was going to seem shady to her mom.

But she had to try.

“Did he tell all this to the police?” He said he did.

“Yeah of course.” Michelle believed him.

She had to believe him.

It was the right thing to do.

“But there wasn’t enough evidence and so they didn’t do anything with it.” The fact that no one seemed to care that her sister was missing hurt.

She couldn’t believe she was the only one fighting for her.

“Sweetheart, I just… I wish you could hear yourself.” She could hear herself, loud and clear.

And sure she sounded crazy and a little desperate.

But wasn’t that what Iris needed right now?

Someone who was crazy about her and desperate to find her.

She was still out there, dead or alive, and Michelle had to find her.

“You used to be so much fun. You were free.” She was still fun and she was still free.

But she was also sad and lonely and confused.

She wanted her sister back, what was so wrong about that?

“Now you have no friends.” Did she really need to keep bringing that up.

“Oh mom.” She had friends Goddammit!

“You have no hobbies. You don’t date.” Well, sure, she didn’t have any hobbies.

But she didn’t have hobbies beforehand.

And dating?

Well… she was dating… wasn’t she?

“Let the police do their job.” God she wanted to yell and scream and just let it all go.

“I’m gonna go, Mom.” She sighed as she watched the wind blow through the trees outside the kitchen window. “Storm’s picking up.”

She figured she should get the firehouse before it got too bad.

“It’s gonna be messy at work.” That was an understatement if there ever was on. “I’m sorry mama.”

She wasn’t sure what she was sorry for though.

She was trying to help.

—

“You’re still throwing up?” She watched as Owen dropped his head back down and sighed.

“Could you say it any louder Captain?” Well someone was in a mood.

“Sorry.” But she got it, he couldn’t risk the others finding out like this. “Are you sure you’re okay to work?”

She moved to stop beside him and let her hand brush against his on the counter.

She wasn’t going to out them either.

No matter how badly she wanted to reach out and rub his back and run her fingers through his hair.

Goddamn this was so what dating looked like.

“I’m fine.” He whispered, grabbing his water bottle and taking a swig. “How was your mom?”

“Fine.” If they weren’t going to talk truthfully about him, they weren’t going to talk truthfully about her either. “I didn’t stay long.”

“I see that.” He raised an eyebrow and she shook her head.

“She uh…” Did she really want to bring this up with him? “She knows how to get under my skin.”

She figured it wouldn’t hurt.

“That bad huh?” He wasn’t running away screaming yet, so she figured if she took baby steps, maybe she’d keep him around for a while.

“She just…” God she hated talking about herself. “She said that since Iris went missing, that um, that I haven’t been… myself.”

He nodded his head and gave her a small smile.

“Well, whoever you are seems just fine to me.” He was trying to flirt and it was cute. “That came out wrong.”

“I know what you meant.” She understood where he was trying to go though and it was sweet. “She said I have no life. No friends, I don’t date, basically that I suck.”

“Well you don’t suck.” He reached out and patted her hand that was on the counter. “And you have friends Michelle.”

“I know!” She didn’t know why she was do defensive about that all of a sudden. “And I date? Right? I’m not a total loser.”

Woah woah woah.

She hadn’t meant to say that part out loud and judging by the look on Owen’s face, he wasn’t expecting her to say it either.

But he didn’t get to respond because the next thing she knew he was leaning over the sink and dry heaving, his eyes closing as his whole upper body shook.

She didn’t stop herself from reaching out this time, rubbing her hand over his back as he stayed leaning over.

“Owen…” She didn’t want to startle him or speak too loudly, but she wanted to make sure he was still with her.

“I’m good.” He whispered, his hand moving to squeeze her arm.

And then she felt her radio buzz against her hip and she let out a sigh.

“I’ve gotta go.” She really didn’t want to leave him like this, but she knew she couldn’t stay behind.

“Go.” And then he was nodding and so she pulled back and retreated from the bathroom.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Owen probably shouldn’t have lied about the whole ‘having a burger on the way in thing’.

But he had.

One, because he really wasn’t feeling like eating after having just thrown up for the what was probably the hundredth time that day.

And two, because he really didn’t feel like explaining that he was full, before he had done all of the throwing up, because Michelle had ordered him Chinese food after they made out on his couch like a bunch of teenagers.

It was just easier to lie at this point.

Both about the cancer, and about his relationship with Michelle.

If you could even call what they had a relationship.

And then they were staring down the half dozen or so tornadoes outside and he felt his stomach drop again.

New York didn’t have tornadoes.

In fact, he had never even seen a tornado before.

He wasn’t afraid of much.

But this, this was slightly terrifying.

—

And then he found himself standing next to a desperate father who just wanted to find his kids.

And he understood exactly what that fear felt like.

So when it came time for someone to crawl under the house he didn’t hesitate to make it his job.

“No. No you’re not.” TK arguing with him wasn’t going to stop him. “You’re the captain.”

“Exactly.” It was his duty to do the messy jobs, the ones that he didn’t dare assign to anyone else.

If anyone was going to die, it was going to be him.

Wayne was right, he was definitely losing it.


	5. 1x04 part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I don’t think anyone is actually reading this, but I’m committed, so here’s the second part for episode 1x04.  
>  ****This chapter contains some smut.**  
>  ***Also, Judd is the best. The end.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

Michelle’s team had finished with those they could help, and since Ray was apparently refusing treatment in favor of finding his kids, she figured she could see what all the fuss was about.

“Someone went in there.” She heard a voice whisper in the crowd of people behind her.

“It’s entirely too unstable.” Another said. “He’ll never make it out.”

She prayed they weren’t talking about who she thought they were talking about.

“Who’s in there?” She asked Judd the question she really didn’t want an answer too.

“Who do you think?” Fuck, it was Owen wasn’t it?

She was thankful when Judd stepped aside some, allowing her to step in and watch the screen over TK’s shoulder.

She felt her heart start to race, her blood pressure rising as she heard Owen’s voice calling out for the kids.

“Ada! Nico!” She wasn’t the praying type, that much was evident, but she was certainly saying one right about now. “You guys in there?”

She watched as TK bit his lip, Owen’s voice filling the otherwise silent space around them.

And then she heard the kid’s voices and she breathed a sigh of relief.

But she wouldn’t feel a hundred percent better until she saw Owen walking out of that house, alive and breathing and well.

And then the roof of the house was coming down and all she heard was screaming.

And then… silence.

She was certain her heart stopped beating and she felt herself reaching out for TK, her hand gripping at the back of his jacket as he called out for his dad.

“Captain Strand, do you copy?” Nothing but crickets. “Captain Strand, do you copy?”

She closed her eyes as she held her breath.

This couldn’t be how she lost him.

“Dad!” She felt Judd’s elbow nudge hers and that’s when she noticed, that he had noticed, that she was gripping onto TK for dear life, so she let go.

“It’s okay! Nobody’s hurt.” She took a step back as she tried not to let the sound of the breath she let out be heard. “We’re coming out to you.”

Oh thank God.

All she wanted to do was to run forward and hug Owen.

To wrap her arms around him and let him know that he wasn’t allowed to do anything stupid like that again.

But it wasn’t her place and now wasn’t the time.

So she watched as TK took off toward him, his arms going around his father’s neck as he held on like his life depended on it. 

Owen’s eyes locked with hers for a second and she saw it.

The fear.

The shock.

The regret?

“You scared the crap out of me, you know that?” He wasn’t the only one who had been worried sick.

“You and me both.” He nodded in her direction but she kept working.

She couldn’t stop now, she had a job to do.

But the children were fine, scared, but fine.

“Michelle!” The second she heard Owen’s voice shouting her name though, she knew something was wrong.

And as she watched Ray hit the ground and stop breathing, she felt her heart stop.

Because she knew there was no saving him.

No matter how hard they tried, he was dead.

And when she looked up and locked eyes with Owen she could tell that he knew it too.

“He’s gone.” She whispered, her head falling forward as she spoke. “Damn it.”

“Daddy?” The sound of Ada’s voice was the most heartbreaking thing she had probably ever heard.

“Move them back.” And then the kids were being ushered away as they screamed for their father to come back to them.

“Why didn’t he say something?” They could have helped him, they could have saved his life.

“He wanted to save his kids.” Owen whispered as he stared straight ahead.

“If he had spoken up, maybe we could have saved him too.” It’s what she did, it’s what she was there for.

And now, now she just felt like she wasn’t good for much of anything.

Maybe her mom was right.

Maybe she wasn’t the same person she used to be.

Owen knew a shower was inevitable, and judging by the looks he was getting for walking around all covered in mud and muck, it was probably about time.

But he waited until he thought everyone had gone home and he stripped down and slipped into the last shower stall in the row.

He prayed that that would at least give him the tiniest bit of privacy should someone else show up.

And in fact, that someone else did happen so show up.

“Want some company?” He guessed it was a little late for that judging by the fact that he had already heard the curtain pull back and felt the chill from the air outside hit his naked body.

“Seems a little late to ask my permission.” He didn’t have to turn around to know it was Michelle.

He figured there was no one else who would be stupid enough to slip into the shower with him.

“You can say ‘no’.” Her voice was so soft and he closed his eyes as her hands trailed over his back and down to his waist. “I’ll leave…”

He knew she wouldn’t dare, not if the pained look on her face after everything that had happened earlier was any indication.

“Don’t.” He reached down and grabbed her hands in his, holding them tightly as he felt her lips press a kiss to the center of his back.

“Okay.” They stayed that way for a minute, his head falling forward under the spray with a sigh.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed but he felt her slip a hand from his grasp and move it downward, ghosting it along his thigh as she pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

“We can’t…” This was entirely too public of a place for anything handsy to go down.

“No one’s around.” She whispered as she wrapped her hand around his erection. “I checked before I came in.”

He let out a huff as he closed his eyes, he knew it was wrong, but Goddamn did it feel so right.

So he quickly turned around, his lips slamming against hers as he let one hand fall to her hip, the other threading through her hair as he poured as much emotion as he could muster into the kiss.

He pulled back and she was smiling at him, her hands trailing from his head and down his back and to his waist again.

“I’m yours if you want me.” And boy did he want her.

So he pressed his lips against hers once again, his left hand trailing up from her waist and her over breasts before moving back downward.

He heard her moan against his lips as she backed him into the wall forcefully, her fingers grabbing at him hungrily.

If this was what she wanted, then this was what she was going to get.

She let out another moan as his hand dipped between her legs, his fingers trailing over her core as she trembled.

He knew they didn’t really have time to waste so he quickly turned them around and lifted her up, never breaking the kiss as he rushed through the motions.

They weren’t always this heated and fast, but they also weren’t strangers to it.

He pulled his head back some, his lips moving to her neck as he pressed kisses along the column of her throat, her back arching as he slid into her with ease.

This time it was a whimper that left her lips and it made something inside him stir, his body setting a pace quickly as he moved to press kisses to the other side of her neck.

It didn’t take long, maybe five minutes tops, before she was digging her nails into his back and begging for him to send her over the edge.

And before he knew it, they were toppling over it together, his teeth biting down just hard enough to leave a mark on her shoulder, her nails most definitely leaving marks on his back as she let out a cry.

“Shhhh.” He chuckled as she buried her face against his neck, holding onto him for dear life as she tried to catch her breath. “If we get caught, it’s your fault.”

She shook her head back and forth, offering him a small smile as he pulled from within her, setting her on her feet slowly before making the move to step back.

But she didn’t let him, instead she pulled him back to her, pressing a kiss to his lips as she tangled her fingers in his hair.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” She whispered as she pulled back and he couldn’t help but drop his forehead to hers as he let out a sigh. “I was…”

“I know.” He knew she was worried, it was written all over her face earlier, and it had scared him.

He didn’t want her to worry about him.

He didn’t want her to get attached.

But he knew it was too late.

Because like it or not, they were both attached.

And if he wasn’t lying, he’d think that maybe they were both a little in a love too.

—

They had stayed together for another five minutes or so, kissing softly as she ran her hands through his scalp, washing out the mud he had missed earlier.

And then she had whispered that she’d see him later before she was ducking out of the shower with a quick pinch of his butt.

God he really hated when she did that.

He couldn’t help but let his mind wander back over the past few weeks, his heart feeling heavy as he let everything sink in.

He had made a lot of big life choices lately, most of them good, some of them questionable.

And he didn’t know how to handle any of them.

Sure he had Michelle to talk to about the cancer.

And he had TK to talk to about things at work.

But who did he talk to about Michelle?

And when she got tired of him, who did he talk to about the cancer?

It was all a lot.

Too much really.

And he let out a sigh as he stood under the spray of the water.

Maybe his doctor was right, maybe he needed to take some time off and get himself together.

He shook that thought from his head and grabbed the soap, finishing up before drying off and heading to his locker to get dressed.

The locker room was quiet and he was thankful, less of a chance of someone having heard their little escapades earlier.

But while he was fixing up his hair Judd appeared behind him and he felt his heart skip a few beats.

He looked like he was freshly showered.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

“You realize in the amount of time it’s taken you to gel your hair, I was able to shower, shave, and update my fantasy basketball roster.” So that meant that he hadn’t been around when Owen got in the shower right?

Which meant there was no way in hell that he had seen Michelle enter the shower with him?

“Eh, you can’t rush style.” Besides, if he was meeting up with Michelle, he had to look his best, right? “How do I look?”

Judd was giving him a look that said he was on to him and he hoped that he just meant that he knew he was going out later.

“You look perfect as always.” Well that was nice of him.

“Well thank you Judd.” Hopefully he could avoid a very awkward conversation and get out of there ASAP.

“Yeah, but looks can be deceiving.” Oh shit, here he goes. “I’m guessing that you didn’t skip supper last night ‘cause you’re watching your figure?”

Did he know that he skipped dinner because of Michelle?

Or because he was puking his guts up all day?

“No, that was chemo.” Which was the God awful truth, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

“Damn.” Yeah, if there was ever a word for it, that was it. “Yeah this uh, this whole PTSD thing man, if I didn’t have Grace, you know I’d be up a creek. And you shouldn’t have to deal with this cancer crap on your own either.”

Well, technically he wasn’t.

But he couldn’t say that.

Not to Judd.

Not to Michelle’s friend.

Surely she’d kill him if he told Judd they were sleeping together.

“You need to tell your boy.” He couldn’t, not yet, the timing wasn’t right.

“I’m just waiting for the right time.” He didn’t know when that would be though.

“That dad at the collapsed house…” Please don’t go there Judd, please don’t go there… “Ray. I bet he was waiting for the right time too.”

Owen nodded his head as he took a deep breath.

He had a good point, but it wasn’t enough to make Owen want to run out and tell the kid right now.

He got ready to walk away when Judd’s voice broke through the slightly awkward silence.

“So uh… you and Michelle huh?” Oh Goddamit…

He stopped in his tracks and hung his head.

They’d been caught and he knew that denying it would only make things worse.

“Yeah.” He nodded his head once more before turning around, searching Judd’s face for any indication of how he felt about this whole thing.

“How long?” He tried to do the math in his head but honestly all of his days were running together at this point.

“Since that first night at the Honky Tonk.” Oh what the hell, just tell him everything Owen.

“Hot damn.” Judd looked, confused, not angry or pissed off or even shocked, but, confused. “That lying little turd.”

“What?” And now Owen was confused.

“I asked Carlos if he knew you two were sleeping together and he told me that you weren’t.” Oh great, so now Carlos knew too.

Who didn’t know?

“Carlos knows?” He was sure that that meant TK knew, right?

He wasn’t stupid, he had seen the way those two looked at each other.

“Well I assumed if anyone knew, he would.” Assumed? What was Judd getting at. “I’ve been watching you two, I figured there was something going on there… but damn… five months and she hasn’t said a damn word? Couldn’t even tell me she was dating my boss? I thought we was friends.”

“We uh…” He scratched at the back of his head as he tried to figure out how to best word this. “We aren’t dating Judd…”

The look of realization on Judd’s face made Owen take a few steps back and he said a silent prayer that Judd didn’t murder him in his own firehouse.

“Not dating huh?” Yeah, yeah he was going to get it. “So what then? Just screwing around?”

It sounded so much worse than it actually was when he said it out loud.

“It’s… yes…” Lying wasn’t going to get him anywhere and he knew it. “It’s just…”

Oh damn, no matter how he said it sounded bad.

“Sex? Just sex?” Okay so Judd saying it like that made it sound a thousand times worse.

“Yes.” But what was wrong with just sex? 

They had agreed that it was no strings attached, right?

Except now there were strings and he was attached and he had a feeling that Judd knew that too.

“You break her heart and I will snap you in two.” The other man hissed out, stepping toward him in two long strides.

He had never realized how much larger than him Judd was until then.

“She’s like my sister, I will kill you.” Okay, so maybe that threat was a little much.

“I’m not gonna hurt her Judd.” But he had no intention of making Judd follow through with that promise. “I would never.”

“Really? Cause that’s what all the guys say.” He got the feeling he knew why Michelle wanted to keep things casual now. “She’s been burned before…”

“I’m not gonna burn her Judd.” He would do whatever it took to make the other man see that. “I promise.”

He watched as Judd stared him down, waiting for him to strike or pounce or whatever it was he was going to do, but he just stood there, eyeing him cautiously.

“Does she know about the cancer?” Well dammit, he had to go there didn’t he?

“Yes.” He nodded his head as he let out a sigh. “I told her that night, outside, after we left.”

“So that’s why she’s been hovering a little closer than otherwise necessary?” So he hadn’t been the only one who noticed Michelle sticking around when she normally didn’t need to.

“Probably. Maybe. I don’t know.” But he wasn’t sure because this was casual and they were just friends.

Friends who had a lot of sex together.

A lot of really good sex together.

But it was just sex.

Except, now, for him, it wasn’t.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Judd must’ve known something that he didn’t and he hated it. “You’re in love with her aren’t you?”

Owen shook his head as he turned around and started walking away.

“So what? You’re just gonna hide from her too!” He wanted to turn around and snap at him and tell him that that wasn’t how he should speak to his Captain, but he was right. “The truth’s gonna come out Cap! It always does. Michelle. TK. You need to come clean.”

He stopped in his tracks as Judd fell into line beside him.

“Yeah, you’re right. I need to tell him.” Except he didn’t know how.

Just like he didn’t know how to tell Michelle that he was falling for her.

His life was just a hot fucking mess right now.

“Speak of the devil.” TK came wandering out of his office at just the right moment and Owen was just thankful it wasn’t Michelle.

That would have been a situation he would not have been able to handle.

“Hey dad.” How did he sound so calm and cool and collected at a time like this. “I was thinking we could try out that new paleo place on Lamar.”

He wanted to say ‘yes’ so badly.

He wanted to take him out to eat and sit down with him and tell him everything.

Tell him about the cancer and the chemo and the throwing up.

Tell him about Michelle and the sex and not so casual relationship that they were in.

“I have a bunch of AARs I gotta go through.” But then he was making up excuses and he hated himself for it. “You know, after the storm comes the paperwork.”

“Yeah. No worries.” He looked so disappointed and it stung. “I’ll see you at home.”

And then there was Judd, standing in the background silently screaming at him to stop and take it all back.

“That went well.” Oh fuck off Judd.

“Yeah.” He knew it hadn’t gone well at all.

But he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.


	6. 1x04 part 3

But that changed when Owen got home that night to find TK sitting on the couch, his leg bouncing anxiously as he turned toward the door.

“I thought you’d be asleep by now.” It was almost eleven and while Owen had originally planned to go to Michelle’s, she had called to reschedule.

He had been disappointed.

Not mad, or sad, just… disappointed.

He was looking forward to spending the night with her.

To maybe getting lost in everything that was her and her alone.

He had needed it after today.

“I’m not tired.” There was something in TK’s voice that told him that something was wrong.

He held his breath as he turned around.

“Is something wrong?” He really hoped that he hadn’t slipped up and had a drink, or worse, taken something.

“When I was in your office today I was looking for some gum.” So that’s why his desk looked like it had been riffled through. “And I found a pill bottle instead.”

Fuck.

This wasn’t how he wanted this to go.

“Granistrom.” Dammit, dammit, dammit. “At least I think that’s how you pronounce it.”

No, he was right.

Right on the money.

“I looked it up, and it’s anti-nausea meds for chemo patients.” Yeah, anti-nausea meds that didn’t do shit. “The cough… it’s lung cancer right?”

He bit his lip as he let a thousand and one thoughts plague him.

He couldn’t believe he had let TK find out like this.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t right.

“I was gonna tell you.” Famous last words right there. 

“Sure you were.” But TK doubted him and he didn’t blame him one bit. “How long have you known?”

The poor kid looked like he was going to lose it and it broke Owen’s heart.

He couldn’t believe he had done this to his own son.

“Since before we left New York.” Seven months actually, seven long excruciating months.

“Wow.” He could see TK’s eyes watering and he couldn’t bring himself to look up and acknowledge him fully, it hurt too bad. “Wow. You must think I’m so weak.”

That was the exact opposite of what he thought and it killed him to know that that was what this made TK think.

“No.” He shook his head as he finally looked up, his heart breaking at the sight before him. 

“Admit it.” TK pushed himself up to stand as Owen made his way toward him. “You didn’t think that I could handle it.”

“That wasn’t it at all.” Except, it kind of was.

“You though that fragile TK would spin out and OD again?” Now that was a little much. “That’s what you thought right?”

“It’s not like that at all.” Why was this so hard for him?

For them?

They had never been good at the hard stuff.

And this was no exception.

“Then why would you lie to me every minute of every day?” Well, he was surely not going to be happy when he found out what else Owen hadn’t been telling him.

“The reason I didn’t tell you about my diagnosis is not because I think you’re weak.” In fact, TK was one of the strongest people he knew and he had told them at least a thousand times. “It’s because I am.”

But he wasn’t strong, not this time around.

He was scared and he wasn’t too proud to admit it.

Not anymore.

Not after today.

“I knew that if I told you and looked in your eyes and saw grief or fear…” The same things he had seen in Michelle’s eyes, and even Judd’s lately. “It would make it real.”

And it was real.

Very, very real.

“Dad, look at me.” See, this is why he was the strong one. “Do you see fear and grief?”

No, and he knew that he never would.

“No. You know why?” Again, because he was the strongest person Owen knew. “Because you are gonna kick the crap out of this cancer, especially because from now on, I’ve got your back.”

Well thank God for that.

He felt something in his heart swell and he couldn’t help but take a deep breath as he fought off tears.

“I’ve got your back dad.” So maybe he didn’t have to go through this alone.

He couldn’t help but pull TK into a hug, wrapping him up tight as TK held him close.

“Thanks son.” He felt the younger man nod against his shoulder and he closed his eyes for a few minutes as he squeezed him even tighter.

“I love you dad.” TK whispered, his tears falling against Owen’s shirt as he clung to him.

“I love you too kid.” Owen whispered back, rubbing a hand up and down his back slowly.

They stayed that way for a few minutes before TK pulled back, reaching up to wipe at his eyes as he sniffled.

“Does anyone else know?” Well…

“Judd does.” He figured that one would be a hell of a lot easier to explain than the other.

“That’s it?” The fact that he seemed surprised probably should have told Owen all he needed to know.

“And Michelle knows.” There was a knowing look in his eyes and Owen wondered just how obvious they were about things.

“Michelle?” He guessed that the question was to give him the chance to come clean.

Not that he doubted that TK wouldn’t call him out on lying about it.

“Yeah. We’re uh…” He reached up and scratched at the back of his neck with a sigh. “Kinda seeing each other.”

“Seeing each other?” The raised eyebrow and the soft smirk told him that he was busted.

110% busted.

“We’re sleeping together.” Alright there, he said it.

“That’s it? Just sleeping together?” Well that’s all they had really decided.

Right?

“Yeah. It’s…” He didn’t know how to respond. “Complicated.”

“Riiiight.” TK didn’t believe him for a second. “Is that where you’ve been disappearing too lately?”

What did he say to that?

Yes?

Because the fact that his son had just called him out on sneaking around with a girl was kind of embarrassing.

“Yeah, that’s where I’ve been.” He nodded his head as he chewed on his bottom lip.

This was more awkward then he thought it would be.

“Well good for you.” TK reached out and patted his shoulder and he snapped his head and gave him a look.

“Good for me?” What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“Yeah. I mean…” TK sighed as he gave him a thoughtful look. “You’re not alone. That’s… that’s important dad. I don’t want you to be unhappy. You deserve someone.”

“Well thanks son.” He watched as the kid rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Glad you approve.”

“Well I mean, she’s already 100 times better than Lydia ever was.” Bringing up his second wife was unfair. “You at least smile when she enters the room instead of trying to run away.”

He had a point there.

“Hush.” But that didn’t make it right.

“How long have you two been seeing each?” Ugh, the question he was receiving the most weird looks for.

“Since we got here.” He whispered his response, praying that TK wouldn’t hear it.

“Oh for Christ’s sake, really?” Why was everyone so surprised by that?

“Yes, really.” He sighed as he reached up and scrubbed at his face. “It’s just sex though. Not that you need to know… but… we’re just enjoying each other, that’s it.”

“Well that’s the biggest line of horse shit I’ve ever heard from you.” He had been spending entirely too much time around Judd lately.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He really didn’t know where the kid was going with this.

“You two are so in over your heads.” First Judd said it, now TK, was it really that obvious that his feelings went beyond just something physical? “I give you another month…”

“Another month?” He wanted more than another month with her if that’s what TK meant.

“Another month before you two are officially dating.” TK crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. “I bet you $50.”

“$50 on what?” Oh this was going to be good.

“$50 that you’ll grow the balls to ask her out before the month is up.” He shook his head but extended his hand nonetheless.

“You’re on.” He could do this.

He could totally muster up the courage and ask her out on a real date within the next 22 days.

Besides, if there was anything that Owen loved, it was taking TK’s money in a silly bet.

Michelle had been thankful when the shift had ended and the day was over.

All she wanted to do was go home and sleep.

But her mom had called and she had gone despite the little voice in her head telling her it was fine.

When she arrived her mom had dragged her out back and showed her the shed, still standing just as sturdy as ever.

So that night they went inside, Iris’ belongings sitting right there in plain sight for all to see, and she felt something inside her bubble with hope.

They had gone through the boxes, laughing at old photos and retelling well known stories.

It had been something Michelle had so desperately needed after the day she had had.

“Look at you two troublemakers.” She cast her eyes to her left, smiling at the picture her mom showed her. “Remember that?”

“Yes mom, I remember the Alamo.” She remembered that trip all to well too.

It was one of the last they had taken before her father had died.

“What’s wrong?” She hadn’t even realized she had been messing with her wrist until her mom asked the question. “Your wrist’s bothering you?”

More than ever.

Her shift today had been outrageous, and the weather was just making it worse.

She was sure that the shower sex earlier hadn’t helped either.

“Yeah, they just sort of seize up in the weather.” But it was easier to say the weather was the problem.

Less questions that way.

“The joys of being a certain age.” She was only 38, she didn’t quite think that that was an excuse yet.

“Watch it you.” Besides, she was probably in the best shape she had ever been in.

“You know what would help? Yoga.” Owen had suggested the same thing and she had made a face at him.

He had also added in that it would make her more flexible in bed.

So maybe the idea wasn’t that crazy.

“My knees were killing me;” Yeah, Michelle’s were driving her wild too. “I’m a new woman now.”

She could tell.

“Really?” Okay, so maybe it was a good idea to try something new. “Maybe I’ll come with you sometime.”

“You know she’d want you to be happy Michelle.” Yeah, she knew that.

But knowing that and accepting that were two different things.

“I know.” She whispered, nodding her head.

She didn’t know what else to say.

“Good.” That didn’t sound good. “Then I’m gonna fix you up on a date. I’m sure you could stand to get laid.”

Oh if only her mother knew.

“Mom!” She wanted to tell her about Owen, she should totally tell her. “I haven’t been dating, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t gotten laid.”

In fact, she was sporting a fancy new hickey that her uniform jacket happened to cover quite nicely.

“Michelle Ruth!” Her mother gasped, her face flushing as she cast a look her way. “You wouldn’t?”

“I totally would.” For Owen, she would do anything.

“Anyone I know?” Of course not.

“No.” She shook her head with a smile, not that that would be a problem.

“Where did you meet him?” Well…

“At work.” Keep it simple, no need to give her mother details that would make this conversation awkward.

“And what’s he like?” She giggled as her mom raised an eyebrow. “And I mean outside of bed, I don’t need to know those details.”

“Mom!” She was thankful for that though. “He’s nice. Smart, funny, very handsome.”

“Very handsome?” Well saying he was downright God like just wouldn’t come across very well to a God fearing woman like her mother.

“Very. Sexy even.” Her mother laughed and Michelle joined in.

She was thankful that she could share something like this with her.

She hoped that it would help get their relationship back on the right track. 

“Does he make you happy?” Oh boy, here came the tough questions.

How did she answer those without making it seem like she was in love with Owen?

Which she totally wasn’t by the way.

Was she?

“He does.” And he did, he made her very happy.

“And he treats you well?” Her mom wasn’t a stranger to the harsh relationships Michelle had been in in the past.

She knew what kinds of things she had been through.

She knew that she wouldn’t tolerate her putting herself in that position again.

“He treats me very well.” Better than any guy she’d ever dated before him.

Not that they were dating.

“How long has this been going on?” She knew that she could easily lie about that part since her mother had no clue who this guy was.

“Five months.” But she might as well put it all out there.

“Five months? And you’re still just sleeping together?” Why did her mom sound just like Carlos?

“Yes mom.” She was sure there was so much more to her and Owen’s relationship besides just sex at this point, but she didn’t know if she was willing to say that out loud.

Or if he was ready to say it out loud either.

“Well as long as you’re happy honey.” She was shocked that her mom went with it so easily, but she was thankful for the support.

“Thanks mama.” She offered her a smile and then she heard it, a gasp from her mom’s mouth, and she started to panic.

“You said Iris got in a blue truck that night?” What the hell did that have to do with anything?

“Yeah. Why?” She quickly turned to look at what her mother was looking at it.

And then she saw it.

A picture of Iris sitting in the bed of a blue pick-up truck.

“Oh my God.” She couldn’t believe it.

This had to be it.

This had to be the clue she had been looking for all these years.

She knew this would lead her to her sister.

It had too.


	7. 1x05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I do not like Zoe, I am not sorry. So here's my take on what happened.  
> **Slightly mature themes mentioned, some sex, but it's all good.  
> ***Also, nervous/worried TK is the best.

Owen should’ve known that bringing TK to his chemo with him was a mistake.

He was glad the kid knew and all.

And he was more than thankful for the support.

But he was more of a nervous wreck that Owen ever was.

And it showed.

“TK!” The leg bouncing was a habit he got from him, but it didn’t make it any less annoying.

“You need something?” Oh God he was such a mother hen. “I got peppermint oil, or uh, saltines, ginger chews, headphones…”

“You’re freaking out.” He really didn’t need to be either.

Yeah, it was scary.

Yeah, it was a bit much.

But everything was fine.

“I’m not freaking out.” If Owen knew one look on his son, it was his freak out face.

And he knew that only because it was the same freak out face his mother used to get whenever he did something stupid and quite possibly extremely dangerous.

TK may have been all Owen, or at least, mostly Owen, but if he got anything from Gwen, it was that face.

“I’m kind of freaking out.” He was waving around Owen’s $200 headphones like they were nothing and he was about to say something.

But he got it.

This was all new to him, and yeah, it was a little freaky.

“It’s okay.” It would totally be okay. “I was too the first time.”

In fact, he had paced back and forth outside the hospital for twenty minutes before he convinced himself to go inside.

He didn’t know how to handle what was about to happen to him.

He guessed that was maybe where TK was right now too.

“Hey.” He watched as TK fidgeted nervously as he looked up at him. “Thanks for being with me.”

“Of course.” He said it like it was the easiest thing in the world for the kid to do, which he knew it wasn’t. “I can’t believe you’ve been dealing with everything on your own.”

He wasn’t, not quite.

But while Judd and Michelle both already knew about the cancer, neither one of them had seen this part.

The ugly part.

The part that stripped away his humanity and made him feel very, very small.

“To juggle it with the job, that’s insane.” Yeah, yeah he was definitely insane.

“It’s been a lot, but…” A lot, yeah, that was an understatement. “Oof.”

He saw Wayne and all he wanted to do was disappear.

The man was as nice as they came, but damn did he talk your ear off if you let him.

And believe it or not, Owen was not in the mood to talk.

“You nauseous?” And there was nervous TK again, rearing his ugly head once more. 

“I will be when the advice starts.” He didn’t need advice, not today of all days.

“Captain Strand, good to see ya.” And there it was, the booming voice that was undoubtedly going to tell him a thousand and one things about cancer that he didn’t want to know. 

“How you doing?” But Owen wasn’t rude, so instead he extended his hand and shook Wayne’s as if they were old buddies catching up.

“All right. Good to see ya.” Yeah, he already said that.

“This is TK, my boy.” Maybe he could distract him by pointing out the newest member of the chemo room.

“Oh, so you finally came clean.” It hadn’t exactly been by choice, but yes, yes he had. “Good for you.”

He watched as TK stood, waiting for the right time to say something.

“Howdy.” Wayne extended his hand to TK this time and shook it like he was meeting a legend. “Wayne Gettinger.”

“Hi…” TK seemed so out of sorts and if Owen didn’t know any better, he’d think he was a little nervous.

Maybe he could sense the vibe that Owen was giving off.

“You got your pops QB-1 looks.” Neither of them would deny that, that’s for sure. “Lucky boy.”

Yeah, that apple didn’t fall too far from the tree, that’s for sure.

Owen smiled at TK as he raised an eyebrow, watching as the other man laughed.

He owed him big time for this.

“So TK, you local?” And here it goes… “Or you just coming to visit the old man?”

Who was he calling old?

“We work together.” Owen figured it might be safer if he did all the talking. 

“Oh you’re firefighter too?” TK looked embarrassed and Owen chuckled.

This was going to be good.

“Yes, sir.” He shifted in his seat as he gripped the armrest on his chair.

“Boy, the trouble you must get up to, huh?” If only Wayne knew. “Austin, lock up your daughters.”

Well, not quite.

Although, Owen had seen plenty of women eyeing TK, and he knew the kid sure loved the attention, no matter who it came from.

“Actually, I play for the other team.” Might as well just tell the man everything at this point.

Owen laughed as TK made a face.

At least he didn’t seem as uncomfortable now as he had ten minutes ago.

“Oh.” Yeah, oh was the most common response to TK’s announcement of being gay. “Lock up your sons doesn’t sound quite right does it?”

Owen shrugged as he closed his eyes.

“Aw hell, I don’t judge.” That’s what most people said.

Until it came down to it.

Texas sure as hell wasn’t like New York in that regard.

“The important thing is, we play when we can.” Amen to that one. “Ain’t that right Captain?”

Wait, he was talking to him?

Why was he talking to him about this?

He really didn’t want to discuss his sex life with this complete stranger.

Especially with his son in the room.

“Cause Lord knows we don’t get out on the playing field much.” Who was he talking about?

Surely not Owen.

Cause Owen got out on that playing field plenty.

“Uh, speak for yourself Coach. I get on the field plenty.” In fact, he had been on the playing field plenty last night, and this morning.

There were many reasons he had stayed with Michelle last night, one being that he was entirely too tired to leave Michelle’s after the Uber dropped them off.

Another being that the second her lips had landed on his he had forgotten all about his plans to go home and sleep.

They had shed all clothing while still standing and had then made good use of her kitchen counter.

She had muttered something about them not being used for anything else anyway so why not.

“Oh now, you don’t have to puff up for me.” He wasn’t puffing up, not at all.

His sex life was just fine thank you very much.

“I mean, there’s no shame in it.” No shame in what?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about right now.” And he didn’t.

In fact, he was really lost.

What was there to be shameful about?

“Wait…” Oh shit, he forgot about TK for a minute. “What are you talking about?”

Maybe this wasn’t the best conversation to be having in front of his son.

“Well the treatment that we get here can… well it can… make the ‘little soldier’ let’s say um…” This was not where Owen thought this was going. “Take an extended furlough.”

Well not his ‘little soldier’!

His ‘little soldier’ was doing just fine.

In fact, he was better than fine.

TK laughed and Owen snapped his head toward him.

What was so damn funny?

“There’s nothing wrong with my little soldier.” He didn’t know why he felt the need to tell TK that.

In fact, he probably really didn’t want to know that.

Especially considering that he was very well aware of who his father was sleeping with.

A topic that they hadn’t discussed anymore since that night three weeks ago.

“Perfectly healthy and active.” He’d get Michelle to sign something if he needed too. “It’s a patriot… and always ready to stand at attention.”

That was so not what he wanted to say.

“Yeah, may seem like that now, but…” Oh God, there was a but. “Don’t be too shocked if a day comes real soon and it turns out to be a deserter.”

Why the hell was TK finding this so damn funny?

“Okay, I’ll take those headphones.” He didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

Nope, he was officially done.

—

“Sooo… that Wayne…” Please don’t go there TK, please don’t.

“Yeah. He’s something.” He was hoping for a quiet ride home.

He just wanted to close his eyes and rest.

And then fall into his bed and sleep the day away.

He didn’t want to talk about anything.

“So your little soldier huh?” And certainly not about this. “He’s doing just fine.”

“TK…” This was not the kind of conversation a grown man had with his son.

“Hey Wayne said…” Yes, yes Wayne did say.

“Wayne was wrong.” He opened his eyes and turned his head toward the younger man, watching as TK chuckled and shook his head. “Whatever his chemo is doing to him, it’s not doing it to me.”

“Yet.” No, no there was no yet in this.

“Never TK.” Especially not with someone like Michelle in his life.

“So you and Michelle?” They were stopped at a red light and TK chanced a look at him. “Things are okay in that department?”

“Better than okay.” He smiled and TK made a gagging noise as he turned back to the road.

“I don’t need to know.” Well he’s the one who asked. “I just want you to be happy dad.”

“Oh trust me, I’m very happy.” And so was his sex life. “The sex is amazing.”

“I… I didn’t ask…” He figured embarrassing the kid a little was totally called for after the way he laughed at him earlier. 

“And it’s a pretty regular thing.” He could practically hear TK freaking out.

“Oh God, dad, I have to work with her!” Owen laughed as he closed his eyes again and leaned back. “I’m never gonna be able to look at her the same way again.”

“Oops.” He heard TK sigh as they continued toward the house.

It stayed silent for a few minutes and Owen hoped that that meant that things would stay that way.

“She really makes you happy doesn’t she?” Well that question came out of nowhere.

“Yeah son, she does.” And that was the damn truth.

Just friends or friends with benefits or whatever the fuck they were, that part was true.

She made him happier than any other woman ever had.

“Good.” That sounded pretty definite so he started to let himself dose off some, his mind wandering back to what Wayne had said.

Was it possible that his little soldier wouldn’t always work the way he should?

—

But he didn’t have to do hours of research like he normally would in order to find out.

Because instead he had met Zoe at the cosmetic store and she had flirted and he had flirted back.

And one thing led to another and the next thing Owen knew they were at his house and she was shedding her clothes.

This was so not where this was supposed to go.

Not that it mattered, because the second they got into the bedroom and the lights were off and it came time for his ‘little solider’ to make an appearance, he was duller than dull.

No standing at attention, no saluting, nothing.

Zoe had been sweet about it, but he wasn’t stupid, he knew it was a turn off.

I mean, of course it was.

So she had left and he had stood in the middle of the living room staring at the front door.

What the fuck did this mean?

So he grabbed his phone and pressed the familiar name and waited.

“It’s almost midnight, on my night off, this had better be good.” Well she sounded cranky.

“Can I come over?” He had almost just jumped into bed with another woman, maybe this wasn’t his brightest idea.

But they weren’t dating and that was a fact.

In fact, she had told him in not so definite terms, that they were just “having fun”.

So that meant they could see other people?

Right?

“Yeah.” And then the line went dead and he was left standing in silence, alone, once again.

“Fucking chemo man.” He whispered his words as he grabbed his leather jacket, sliding it back on and grabbing his keys.

Hopefully being with Michelle would make it all better.

—

So he had driven to her house and let himself inside with the key she had left on his desk three days ago.

That didn’t seem like they were just having fun, but he wasn’t in the mood to argue when he’d found it.

He toed his shoes off and hung his jacket by the door before locking up.

And then he made his way down the hall and into her bedroom, smiling when he heard her let out a huff from the bed.

“I thought you were joking.” He could make out the top of her head and one eye from where she was buried amongst the blankets in the middle of the bed.

She looked extremely cozy in there and he kind of felt bad.

“No, not joking.” But only a little bit.

He shed his jeans and t-shirt and climbed under the blankets as she slid to one side.

He knew that she was surprised that he was there, but he wasn’t about to sleep on the couch when this big bed was here, and she was in it.

“What’s wrong?” She whispered her question as she rolled from her stomach to her side, facing him as she let out a yawn. “Are you okay? Is TK alright?”

Damn this woman and her big old heart.

Instantly making sure that he was fine.

Because, yeah, showing up in the middle of the night was kind of random.

“I almost had sex with another woman tonight.” Well shit Owen, way to ‘ease onto it’.

“Oh?” She raised an eyebrow as she stared back at him, her brows crinkling as she tensed up. “Did you now?”

“It was… stupid.” Amongst other things.

“I’m sure.” She didn’t seem angry, rather, she seemed, annoyed.

Or was that jealousy?

It had been a while since he had witnessed that emotion when it came to him.

“We met at the beauty supply store.” Cause that sounded so much better. “She thought I was gay.”

“Well normally the only guys in Sephora, are…” She had point, sort of.

“I wasn’t in Sephora.” But that wasn’t the point. “That’s beside the point… we… she flirted and I flirted back and then one thing led to another and…”

“And you almost had sex with another woman?” The look on Michelle’s face told him he probably should have left that part out.

“Almost.” He had to tell her the truth right?

“So why didn’t you have sex with her then?” Well he certainly didn’t expect that question from her.

“Well… ya see…” He swallowed and chewed on his lip for a minute as he tried to figure out how to properly word what was going on in his mind right now. “We um…”

“Owen…” Michelle reached out and patted his cheek. 

What was he, a puppy?

“I couldn’t get it up okay?!” He hadn’t meant to get so worked up about it and respond like that, but he wasn’t handling this as well as he thought.

Was Wayne right?

Had he reached the point where sex was no longer going to be able to be his favorite past time?

“Oh…” He could tell she was trying not to laugh and he glared back at her. “Oh?”

And then it must have hit her what that really meant.

“Wayne said it would happen.” Ugh. “But we had just had sex last night, and this morning, and nothing happened and…”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because the next thing he knew Michelle was slamming her lips against his and tangling her fingers in his hair.

“Did you…?” He tried to push her away but she rolled them over, straddling his waist as she leaned down and kissed him passionately. “Did you not hear what I just said?”

Michelle nipped at his bottom lip, a sign that she wanted him to stop talking, and so he shut up.

They laid there for a good fifteen minutes, their lips dancing over each other’s as his hands ran up and down her back and her fingers made a mess of his hair.

“I heard you loud and clear.” She whispered after a few minutes, her forehead falling to rest on his as she stared at him softly. “But it doesn’t appear to be something I need to be concerned about.”

Her smirk told him everything he needed to know.

And then the next thing he knew she was reaching down between them, her hand sliding inside his boxers as she wrapped her fingers around his erection.

His erection that he hadn’t been able to get earlier.

But one that certainly didn’t have a problem showing up now.

“Perhaps you were just trying to get it up for the wrong girl.” She smirked at him as she moved her hand up and down and he moaned.

“Evil.” He hissed out, his hands gripping her hips as he flipped them over quickly, his body hovering above hers as he pushed her underwear down.

He was incredibly thankful that she rarely slept with pants on.

“Maybe, but it’s worth it.” She leaned up and kissed him as she shoved his boxers down, smiling against his lips when he traced a finger over her core.

“Totally worth it.” He whispered before sliding into her with ease.

So maybe the fact that he couldn’t get it up with Zoe earlier wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

—

The next two days hadn’t been too bad, he and Michelle had chosen to spend their 48 hours off together, in bed.

And without one lack of performance from his ‘little soldier’ at that.

Maybe he just needed to be with the right person.

Maybe this was his body’s way of telling him that he and Michelle belonged together.

Not that his heart hadn’t figured that one already.

His brain on the other hand, well it was still in denial.

But the second that he was called to the scene of an accident and it was made it clear that Michelle was part of said accident, well his heart had decided to tell his brain to fuck itself.

Because in that instant, all he cared about was making sure she was okay.

“Blake and her team are stuck in there,” No, no, not Michelle. “There’s some toxic fumes, we couldn’t get them out. He almost passed out. I don’t know why.”

Owen could see the instant but fleeting look of fear across Judd’s face.

He could sense it in Carlos’ voice too.

That was their friend in there and they were scared.

Not that they would ever show it.

Him on the other hand, yeah, he would probably show it.

“Captain Blake?” Oh yeah, he was showing it. 

“Yeah, she’s in there with her team and a patient they were trying to transport.” He could tell that Judd was reading him like a book.

And right now, every word on Owen’s page was screaming PANIC.

“PD got here first but they couldn’t get close enough to pull anybody out ‘cause they got hit with toxic fumes and it knocked them off their feet.” He knew that he was looking at Judd like he had six heads, but damn was nothing about what he was saying making sense.

Maybe that was because he could only half hear him.

Maybe that was because his only focus right now was on the woman trapped inside that ambulance who had stolen his goddamn heart.

“All right, hazmat protocols everybody.” That was the only way in and he knew it.

He rattled off instructions as he tried to move as fast as possible to grab his own gear.

He had to get to her and fast.

And the second he saw that she was still breathing his heart had done a little hiccup, reminding him of just how human he was.

She was okay, sort of.

“It is.” The sound of her voice responding to Marjan’s comment made him snap his head in her direction.

“All right everyone, let’s secure this patient and get her out of there.” Keep it cool Owen, keep it cool.

“Captain…” He could hear the distress in her voice and he was starting to panic again. “I’d appreciate if you start with my team first.”

Of course she would.

Always the damn hero that stubborn woman.

“He won’t mind. He’s dead.” Well okay then.

“Okay.” He nodded his head as the others worked to get Nancy and Tim to safety.

And he made his way toward her.

She was pale, and her breathing was uneven, but it was hard to tell if that was from the panic of what had just happened, or because she was feeling the effects whatever had killed her patient.

“You okay?” He wanted to take the damn mask off and try to offer her some comfort, but he knew better.

“Just, get me out of here.” She shook her head as she closed her eyes and he nodded, reaching out to safely move her into a standing position.

She let out a moan and a wince and he instantly did a visual check to make sure nothing was broken.

“Come on.” He gently lead her outside and toward the waiting ambulances on the next block over. “Let’s get you looked at.”

“Tim? Nancy?” She was looking around for them and he felt her tense up when she realized they were nowhere to be seen.

“They’re already on their way to the hospital.” Carlos’ voice was a welcome one and he was thankful for someone else being around.

Otherwise he was liable to pull her into his arms and tell her to never be so damn brave again.

“Thank God.” She whispered as they helped her onto a gurney.

Carlos squeezed her hand before offering her a smile and Owen simply nodded his head.

He knew that Carlos knew they were sleeping together.

Hell, Carlos probably knew everything about him at this point.

But he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about a public display of affection, so he kept it to himself.

“We’re gonna get her out of here.” The paramedic who took her offered them both a smile before wheeling the bed away.

And then he was just left standing there with his kind of girlfriend’s best-friend and he felt a little awkward.

“She’ll be fine Captain.” She had better be.

“Yeah. I know.” He watched as the ambulance pulled off, his hands reaching up to pull the damn helmet off his head.

“She’s the strongest woman I know.” He didn’t doubt that for a second.

“That she is.” He didn’t know if he was supposed to open up to Carlos, it’s not like they really knew each other.

And again, he wasn’t certain how much Michelle would want him to say.

She figured she told Carlos what she wanted him to know.

He wasn’t sure what exactly that would be at this point though.

“I’ll check on her in an hour after my shift ends.” Carlos offered him a smile and Owen nodded.

“Thanks.” And then he was turning on his heel and heading back toward the scene.

His heart was tugging in a million different directions he didn’t like it one bit.


	8. 1x05 part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *There’s a big bomb being dropped in this chapter.  
> **The Michelle/Carlos friendship is my favorite thing ever and I will not be okay without it in season 2.

Michelle normally really liked her job.

Really, she did.

But today?

Today she wasn’t exactly a fan of it.

Especially not after being in an ambulance crash.

And especially not after being admitted to the hospital for sulfate poisoning.

So when she heard a knock at her door she said a silent prayer that it was Owen.

It wasn’t, it was Carlos.

And while he would do, he wasn’t who she wanted to see right then and there.

She needed to see Owen.

They needed to talk.

And they needed to talk now.

“Hey Chica.” She offered her best friend the best smile she could manage. “Can I come in?”

“You better.” She honestly just wanted some company right now.

“Doctors said that they were gonna keep you here for a few days for observation.” That was definitely not what she wanted to hear.

“Oh great.” She really just wanted to go home and sleep, in her bed, or Owen’s, it didn’t really matter right now.

“So I brought you some clothes,” Thank God for Carlos. “a couple Harry Potters, and some peanut butter M&Ms.”

He really knew the way to her heart.

“My hero.” And that he was.

He had been looking out for her as long as she could remember.

“They’re saying they still don’t know what caused your guy to become a human WMD.” She figured they wouldn’t figure it out right away.

“I think I might.” But she was pretty sure she was right about this one. “Me.”

Carlos looked at her like she was crazy and she almost believed him for a minute.

“The signs were in front of me the whole time.” And yet, she had ignored them. “Some arthritis medicines are sulfide-based. They have a sort of a garlicky smell.”

She had done her research once upon a time.

She was never a good student, medical school just not in her future like it was for Iris.

But she enjoyed reading for fun and sometimes she read about the craziest stuff.

“When we put him on O2 and used the defibrillators, we must have triggered some sort of a chemical reaction that converted the sulfide to sulfates.” Carlos was still looking at her crazy and she knew it sounded bizarre, but it was possible. “And basically… I created a poison cloud inside of the guy.”

It was her fault and she knew it.

And now she felt like a moron.

“How were you supposed to know any of that?” Carlos was sweet, but really.

She should have known the signs.

It was part of her job.

“Because it’s my job to.” That’s what she was trained for, to notice things like this. “I’ve been so wrong about so many things. I can’t start to be wrong on the job too.”

Not when it could harm other people.

Not when it could harm her own friends.

“Why do I feel like we’re not talking about toxic guy anymore?” If he knew her any better it would be terrifying. “Is this about Iris?”

Of course it was about Iris.

It was always about Iris.

“She was going through something Carlos and I couldn’t see it.” Except, she did see it, she just didn’t put up a fight or push for her to get help. “Or I chose not to.”

That was probably more like it.

She didn’t want to believe that anything was wrong with her sister, she couldn’t.

“My sister had secrets.” Didn’t they all?

But Iris’ secrets may have cost her her life.

And judging by the look on Carlos’ face, he realized it too.

“I found this in my mom’s shed the night of the tornado.” She whispered as she held the picture out to him.

She held out hope that maybe he would recognize the people in the photo.

That maybe they were people they had known in school.

“The blue pick up truck.” But it didn’t sound like it. 

“A blue pick up truck.” She wanted it to be the same one that Iris had driven away in that night.

She wanted this to be the clue that she needed.

But everything felt so jumbled lately that she knew better than to hold out hope for that.

“I don’t recognize any of those faces.” She had tried to rack her brain, tried to match them to other pictures Iris had, but she’d had no luck.

“But maybe it’s something to go on.” Always the optimist that Carlos. “I’ll look into it.”

She knew she kept him around for something.

“Thank you.” She whispered, smiling back at him as he smiled, taking her hand in his gently.

“You’re welcome.” He whispered back, squeezing her hand tightly. “Can I get you anything else?”

“No.” She shook her head softly as she leaned back against the pillow.

“Okay.” He let go of her hand and reached out to pat her shoulder. “I’m gonna let you get some rest.”

He stepped back and was making his way toward the door before she let out a sigh.

“Wait!” She had to tell someone and Carlos was honestly the only person that she trusted.

“Ooookay…” He turned around and offered her a raised eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

She let out a sigh as she knocked her head back against her pillow a few times.

Fuck this was going to be hard to say.

“I’m pregnant.” Well, there it was.

The first time she had uttered the words since the nurse had told her four hours ago that despite the sulfate poisoning, her baby was okay.

A baby that she didn’t know she was carrying.

“Oh…” He looked shocked.

In fact, he looked beyond shocked.

And Michelle bit her lip as she tried to gather her thoughts.

“Wh… how…?” Oh for Christ’s sake Carlos. “I mean… I know… how how… but…?”

“It’s Owen’s.” Just rip the bandaid off right then and there why don’t you?

“I figured as much.” He reached out and closed the door to her room before walking back toward the bed. “What happened?”

“Well Carlos, when two people are physically attracted to each other…” He swatted at her arm and gave her a look.

“Shush. I know the biology, I have nieces and nephews, I’m not stupid.” She never said he was. “But, I thought you two were being careful.”

“We were!” Well sort of. “Until that one time we weren’t…”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Michelle.” To be honest, she echoed his complaint.

She couldn’t believe they had been so stupid.

“It was a heated moment. We didn’t even think about it.” She closed her eyes as her mind flashed back to the moment in the shower a few weeks ago. “It wasn’t that long ago but I guess when your body knows, it knows.”

It had been less than a month, but she knew that was all it took.

“Does Owen know?” Carlos looked so concerned and it was sweet, really sweet.

“No.” She shook her head as she opened her eyes back up. “Hell, I didn’t know until 4 hours ago.”

“What?” Yeah, yeah that was the way this day was going.

“When the doctor was going over my blood work.” Carlos raised an eyebrow and she sighed. “She told me that I looked fine but that they wanted to keep me for observation. She then added in that it didn’t appear to affect my pregnancy any.”

“And what did you say?” She hadn’t said anything.

She had been too shocked to reply.

“Nothing.” Carlos shook his head at her response. “I was shocked.”

“You had no idea?” She mirrored his head shake. “No indications? No symptoms? Nothing?”

“Nothing.” And it was the damn truth.

She hadn’t felt the need to pee excessively or throw up every five minutes.

She hadn’t been craving peanut butter covered pickles or anything strange.

In fact, she had felt more normal the past two months than she had in a while.

“Are you sure you’re pregnant then?” No, she wasn’t 100% sure.

“The doctor was looking at my blood work Carlos!” Okay, so maybe shouting at him wasn’t the best response.

He was just trying to be helpful.

“Did they do any scans?” She had thought it was odd that they hadn’t.

“No. She told me to call my doctor and schedule a follow up once I’m out of here.” Which she would definitely be doing.

Hopefully for her to tell her that she wasn’t actually pregnant.

She couldn’t fathom having a kid right now.

And with Owen?

Well he would lose his shit for sure.

“You need to tell Owen.” No, no she didn’t.

Not until she had 100% confirmation that there was a baby in her stomach.

“Not until I know for sure Carlos.” She could feel herself starting to panic. “He… this…”

“Michelle.” Carlos reached out and cupped her face between his hands. “You need to tell him.”

She let out a huff as she closed her eyes.

This was so not happening right now.

“I’ll think about it.” Actually, she had thought about it.

And she couldn’t tell him.

He would run away, she knew it.

And while they were nothing more than just fuck buddies right now, it would hurt too much to lose him.

He was her friend before he was anything else.

And she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it.

“I’m sending him this way when he gets off shift.” She shook her head back and forth. “You decide.”

She had decided.

“But you need to tell him.” Goddammit Carlos, shut up. “Because if you are pregnant… you’re gonna need him around.”

“I can do this alone.” Well, no, actually she couldn’t.

“Nice try Chica.” She hated how well he knew her. “But that’s a line of bull and we both know it.”

“Yeah.” She whispered as she hung her head.

“I’m gonna leave you to sleep.” He leaned forward then and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Call me if you need me, you hear?”

“I will.” And she would.

In fact, she’d probably text him about a million times that night so she hoped he didn’t have any plans.

And then he was leaving, offering her a little wave as he made his way out the door, shutting it behind him softly.

She was so not looking forward to how the next 24 hours were going to go.

—

The next morning, she wasn’t shocked when she heard an all to familiar knock on her hospital room door.

“Come in.” She knew damn well who it was, but that didn’t make it any better.

Actually, that might have made it worse.

“Hey you.” Owen stepped through the door, a soft smile on his face as he held up a small bouquet of flowers. “I wasn’t sure if coffee was allowed, but I brought some of that too.”

She saw the coffee carrier in his other hand and let out a sigh of relief.

She was going to need all the liquid courage she could get if she was going to do this.

“Thank you.” She barely got the words out, her throat having gone dry at the thought of telling Owen that she was pregnant.

“You’re welcome.” He kicked the door shut with his foot before moving toward her. “Carlos said you like daisies so…”

She was going to kill Carlos.

Best-friend be damned.

“I do.” She hoped that Carlos had told him to buy her flowers, because that was just embarrassing.

“Don’t worry, he didn’t make me buy them.” Owen Strand was a goddamn mind reader and she hated it. “I called him and asked. It’s been a while since I’ve bought flowers for a lady.”

She couldn’t help but giggle softly at the way he said it.

“Well they’re beautiful. Thank you.” She meant it too.

It had been years since someone other than Carlos had given her flowers.

And she was secretly a very big fan of receiving them.

“He told me you were feeling kinda crummy still,” He set the vase down on the table beside her bed before handing her a coffee, “so I won’t stay long.”

“It’s okay.” She took a few sips before looking up, her eyes locking with his as she swallowed. “I um… I need to talk to you about something anyway.”

“Oh okay.” He didn’t look concerned or scared or even worried, but he did look confused. “Is everything okay? Is this about the accident?”

She shook her head ‘no’ before reaching out to set the coffee cup down.

Better to not have anything in her hands when she said this.

“I’m pregnant.” She had planned a whole speech and everything, but unfortunately, her mind just kind of went there.

“Oh.” He cocked his head to the side and gave her a look that said he didn’t really know what to think.

“It’s yours, I promise.” She tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal, but this was actually killing her.

“I know.” The fact that he didn’t even think for a second that it was someone else’s made her heart seize up a little. “I wouldn’t have thought otherwise.”

Well that’s good.

Especially considering he had almost slept with another woman not to long ago.

“I know this is a shock…” Shock was an understatement, she certainly wasn’t expecting this to happen. “I didn’t even know this could happen…”

She had had plenty of unprotected sex in her day and there had never been a pregnancy scare before.

“It’s okay.” He reached out and took her hand in his. “How did…? I mean… you didn’t know did you? Before you came to the hospital yesterday?”

He was good, too good.

“No. I didn’t know.” Which is why she still had her doubts. “They told me yesterday after they got my blood work back. I made an appointment with my doctor for Friday.”

“Okay.” He nodded his head as he took a deep breath. “Well, I’ll go with you.”

“No.” She hadn’t meant to react that way but this was certainly not something she had seen coming and she wanted to at least make sure of things first.

“Okay.” He held his free hand up in defense and she sighed.

“I’m sorry.” She shook her head as she tried to ground herself.

She hated this feeling.

This feeling of uncertainty.

Of being so torn.

It wasn’t like her.

“It’s okay. I get it.” And the fact that he was being so goddamn supportive was really throwing her for a loop.

“You don’t get it!” Great, now she was screaming at him and all he wanted to do was help her.

But he didn’t respond, he didn’t get mad and scream back, or even get up and leave.

Instead he squeezed her hand and offered her a soft smile.

They stayed that way for at least fifteen minutes, his hand holding hers gently as he rubbed his thumb along her fingers.

She tried to hold back her tears but it didn’t work.

And the next thing she knew she was crying her eyes out like some kind of child.

But instead of running away like she expected, Owen pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, his hand rubbing up and down her back as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“This had better not be sign that my damn hormones are out of whack.” She whispered her pathetic attempt at a joke and Owen just pressed a kiss to her ear in response.

“I think this is a sign that you’re tired. And stressed.” He pulled back a little and reached up to wipe the tears off her face. “And probably not just physically. I would guess mentally and emotionally too.”

She nodded her head as she swallowed and blinked a few times, trying to rid the tears from her eyes.

“I’m gonna let you try and sleep okay?” She really didn’t want him to leave.

“But…” She could feel herself starting to get worked up and she slammed her head back against the pillow when she heard her monitor go off, indicating her blood pressure was rising and her heart was racing.

“Well now they’re gonna kick me out because they’re gonna think it’s my fault.” He cast a glance at her monitor and grabbed her hand in his again, squeezing it tightly as a nurse came through the door.

And sure enough, the nurse kicked Owen out.

But not before he could press a kiss to her lips.

“It’s gonna be okay.” He whispered as he squeezed her hand before standing. “Text me after you get some sleep.”

She nodded her head as her eyes filled up with tears once more.

And then she watched as another nurse ushered him into the hallway.

She guessed she wouldn’t be getting any more visitors until she was out of here.


	9. 1x06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Clearly canon divergent at this point. Also, Billy Tyson is an asshole and I will paint him as such.**

Owen didn’t doubt for a second that Michelle was capable of doing her job.

He knew better than to question that.

But he hadn’t been able to wrap his head around the idea of her being pregnant.

And here she was running around in the field.

He knew that she was going to be okay.

He knew that she was superwoman.

But it scared him to think that there was always a chance for something bad to happen.

So he had watched carefully and stayed close by in case she needed him.

She hadn’t, of course, but he wanted to make sure he was there.

That he was always there.

Which is why he went to check on her after they made it back to the station.

“You sure you should be out in the field like that?” That wasn’t exactly how he imagined the conversation going.

“I’m fine Owen.” She looked slightly perturbed but she set her pen down and leaned back in chair.

He supposed maybe she was humoring him a little.

“I’m just... how did your appointment go?” He was nervous was what he was.

“I’m not pregnant.” He felt his heart skip a beat and then settle into a more regular rhythm.

A rhythm he had missed while spending the last five days wondering if he was about to be a dad for a second time.

“Okay.” He let out a sigh of relief and when she offered him a soft smile he smiled back.

“I was gonna come tell you earlier, but we got that call...” So that’s why she had been looking for him all morning.

They kept missing each other, constantly heading in the opposite direction of the other.

“It’s okay. You’re sure you’re not pregnant?” He knew she had said it, but something inside him begged for him to make sure.

“Blood test was clear.” Which was funny, because apparently her blood work at the hospital had said otherwise. “She even did a scan. No baby. Not even a trace.”

“Well that’s... good. Right?” It had to be good, because he wasn’t ready. “We wanted a negative? Did we want a negative?”

“I wanted a negative.” That was all that mattered to him.

“Then this is good.” He just wanted to make sure that she was happy and okay with whatever the outcome was, baby or no baby.

“What about what you wanted?” It wasn’t about him though and he knew that.

“This isn’t about me Michelle. It’s not my body or my life.” It was his life, kind of, because if she had been pregnant it would have been half of him running around out there. “I would’ve stood by you had you been pregnant no matter what. But if it wasn’t what you wanted, than it wasn’t what was right.”

“Thank you for that. I think.” She chuckled softly and he smiled.

“Care to join me for dinner?” He knew TK was going out, again, so it would just be him, all alone in his big old house.

“I would love to…” There was a but coming wasn’t there. “But I made plans with my mom. Sorry.”

“No worries.” He respected that.

They weren’t dating after all.

He had no claim on how she spent her free time.

“Rain check?” She pushed herself to stand, moving toward him as she offered him a soft look.

“Tomorrow night then.” He was already debating whether he would cook her dinner or order out, whether they would bother to try and watch or movie or maybe just head straight to bed.

He was already looking forward to it.

“Tomorrow night.” She looked around quickly before leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll see you then.”

“See you then.” He watched as she grabbed her bag and headed out, turning to offer him a smile and a wave before heading down the stairs.

He couldn’t help but smile as he watched her go.

Damn he was so far gone it wasn’t funny.

—

And then he found himself offering to join Judd’s poker game, despite Judd’s attempt to talk him out of it.

Grace had tried to warn him and Judd had tried to act like it was no big deal.

But if this Billy Tyson really was as opposed to the idea of him as Judd said he was, he wanted to get to know him better.

What was the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

He had wound up taking all of Billy’s money, and despite what he thought, the man hadn’t rung his neck.

So after everyone had left that night he had snuck out before Judd could make any snide remarks.

He didn’t want to be the ‘I told you so’ man, but he totally would if it was called for.

What he hadn’t expected though, was Billy showing up at the firehouse during their next shift.

Sure, the guy had been fun to play poker with, but this was a little much.

After he had left Judd had spent a good five minutes staring at him from the hallway.

“Ya know, you and Billy…” Oh what now? “That ain’t gonna fly with Michelle.”

“Excuse me?” What the hell did Michelle have to do with this?

And why would she care if he was hanging out with Billy.

“I’m just saying Cap, be careful.” Be careful with what?

They were going to go golfing, end of story.

“Why would Michelle care if I plan to go golfing with Billy?” It really didn’t make much sense to him.

Unless…

“She and Billy don’t get along to well…” Ah, there it was. “He uh… he gets under her skin.”

“You know something I don’t?” He supposed Judd probably knew a lot about Michelle that he didn’t.

“Yep.” He nodded his head as he chewed on his bottom lip, his brain clearly racing as he tried to figure out what to say. “But it ain’t my place to tell you. Gotta let her do that.”

“Understood.” He had no problem with that, he respected Michelle’s privacy and he was glad that Judd did too.

“Just uh… just tread lightly okay?” Well damn, it must be serious then.

“I will.” But he didn’t want to upset Michelle, so while he wanted to maintain a friendly relationship with Billy, he wouldn’t jeopardize whatever it was that he had with her.

Judd simply nodded his head before stepping back into the hallway and heading down the stairs.

This whole situation was just weird.

And Owen didn’t like weird.

Not one bit.

—

But he hadn’t said a word and choose to keep it to himself a few more days.

That had clearly been mistake though.

“You know this is a hazard Captain.” Ah, just the woman he wanted to see.

Except he wanted to see her for reasons other than talking about how horrible his golf game was.

“Don’t distract me.” He whispered, turning toward her and offering her a smile.

She was always distracting him though, whether she meant to or not.

“If you can’t putt under pressure you’re not gonna be able to beat Billy.” Oh fuck, who told her about Billy.

It couldn’t have been Judd.

Not with the way he was worried.

“I heard you gave him a tour of the house.” So someone else ratted him out.

No one else knew they were seeing each other though, no one except for TK, and he hadn’t even been around when Billy showed up.

“He invited you golfing didn’t he?” Ugh, yes, yes he did.

“No, I just do this because I find it relaxing.” In all honesty, he hadn’t played golf in over a year.

Not because he didn’t want to, he just never found the time.

But damn he was bad at this.

“God!” He really needed to find another hobby. “What?!”

He heard Michelle chuckle from behind him and he rolled his eyes.

“Yes, he invited me to golf, but I haven’t swung a club in quite a while so I’m a little rusty.” Rusty was probably putting it nicely at this point.

But Michelle offered him a smile as he made his way toward her and he honestly just wanted to say ‘screw it’ to his golf date with his new buddy and instead spend his one day off with her.

Preferably alone.

Preferably naked.

In his bed or hers, it didn’t matter at this point.

“Word of advice.” But then her smile was fading and he felt his heart start to race. “Keep an eye on Billy.”

Uh oh.

Was this what Judd was talking about?

Was this her way of telling him that she didn’t want them to be friends?

“You’re saying that I shouldn’t trust him with our score card?” If it was as simple as that then he had nothing to worry about, right?

“I’m saying he can be a little slippery.” That didn’t sound good, especially coming from Michelle. 

She was a pretty good judge of character from what he saw.

“I know what you’re doin’.” Maybe he could joke his way out of this one. 

“Oh? Do tell.” I mean, if there was anyone who knew her well enough at this point it was him, wasn’t it?

“You’re poisoning the well of a potential friendship.” For what reason he wasn’t sure. 

“And why would I do that?” That was a very, very good question.

“You really gonna make me say it?” He bit his lip as he raised an eyebrow at her, he had gotten under her skin, he could tell. “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

It hadn’t taken him very long to put the pieces together.

They had clearly dated once upon a time.

She clearly didn’t want her new boy toy to be friends with her old one.

“He told me you guys used to have a thing.” He hadn’t asked for Billy to bring it up, but he had seen Michelle in passing and commented on her presence.

Then he had told Owen that they had once been in a relationship together.

He had figured as much, but he wasn’t sure about the details.

Billy didn’t seem to keen on sharing them with him either.

“Who said I was the one scorned?” Oh, was that how it went down.

He turned and offered her a smile.

If there was ever a woman who could leave a man feeling a little shitty about himself, it was definitely Michelle.

“Just be careful.” She said softly, the smile on her face faltering a little. “Thing about Billy, he likes to win… a little too much.”

Owen watched as she leaned against the door frame and he sighed.

Something else was going on here and he hated it.

“That makes two of us.” But if it came down to it, Owen would fight with everything he had in him.

Especially if it came down to Michelle.

—

That night he had wanted to go see her, but she blew him off and he knew something was up.

And he had a feeling that that something, was the fact that he had refused to cancel his golf game with Billy for that weekend.

But he was looking forward to get to know the man a little better.

To maybe find out some more about his relationship with Michelle.

To find out what had gone so horrible wrong that she was trying to keep the two of them apart.

Except, that hadn’t been what their golf game had wound up being about.

And instead Owen found himself revealing to this complete stranger that he had cancer.

Something he hadn’t even told his own people.

He should have known that it wouldn’t work out the way he wanted.

Not that he had any idea what he wanted to come out of this.

He was hoping for good advice on taking some time off, but other than that, he really had no reason for bringing it up.

And he really, really regretted it.

Especially after Chief Redford called him into his office and tore him a new one.

He knew that working while on chemo was silly, but he could manage it.

But this, running the CPAT, in full PPE’s, yeah that he couldn’t do.

He would fight as hard as he could to keep the 126.

This was his home.

And he couldn’t lost it.

Not now.

Not ever.

—

And to his surprise, when he arrived home that night, Michelle was waiting for him on the front steps.

He let out a sigh as he put his Jeep park and killed the engine.

He wondered who told her about the deal he had just made with the devil.

“You’re fucking crazy, you know that right?” Oh he knew it alright.

“I know.” He slammed his door shut as he made his way toward her, watching as she stood and ran a hand through her hair.

“Why would you do this Owen?” She had warned him and he hadn’t listened and now, well now he had to deal with the consequences. “I told you not to hang out with him. I warned you.”

“Yes, yes you did.” He opened the door without even so much as looking at her.

It was hard to make sense of any of this right now.

“Owen…” Michelle reached out and touched his arm gently, waiting as he locked the door behind them before speaking again. “You know you can’t do this. Not with the cancer… the chemo… you’ll fail this test.”

He let out a huff as he toed off his shoes, making his way into the kitchen and grabbing a water from the fridge.

He knew damn well he couldn’t do this.

But he had to try.

“It’s too late now Michelle.” She let out a sigh of her own as she stopped and leaned against the counter, eyeing him softly as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t take it back.”

“Yes, yes you can.” If only it were that easy.

“If I don’t take the test, they take the 126 from me.” And with his luck, that would mean fucking Billy would be in charge again.

“And if you take the test, and fail, not only will you lose the 126, but you’ll probably wind up in the hospital, or worse…” Worse, there was no worse than that.

“I’ll be fine Michelle.” He was in better physical shape than he had ever been.

He could do this.

He had to do this.

“Why did you tell Billy you had cancer?” She looked almost, heartbroken, and it killed him.

He really should have listened to her.

“He told me about his cancer. He was being honest.” He shrugged and when he looked up the look on Michelle’s face was far from okay. “I thought being honest was what you did with friends.”

“Billy Tyson is not your friend Owen.” She shook her head as she reached up and wiped at her eyes.

She was crying and Owen hated it.

“I know that now.” He dropped the water bottle to the counter and moved to stand in front of her, reaching out to take her hands in his. “I screwed up okay, I’m sorry.”

“Owen…” She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes, her head falling forward to rest against his shoulder for a moment.

They stayed that way for a good five minutes before she pulled back and took another deep breath.

“Billy never had cancer.” Well what the actual fuck then?

“Yeah he did. Thyroid cancer.” Maybe she didn’t know because they were broken up by then. “He told me he took a year off to deal with it.”

“That’s not why he took a year off…” She sighed as she pulled back from him and started pacing the length of the kitchen.

He couldn’t believe the bastard had played him like this.

What a fucking tool.

“Then why?” He had to know now.

He had probably just thrown away his entire career over this guy.

He needed to know the truth.

“He was forced to take a year off.” Oh… “The chief made him do it…”

“So then why the fuck is the chief supporting him on this?” He didn’t get it, he had been nothing but nice to Chief Redford.

“Because Redford hates my guts.” She whispered the words as she stopped pacing, her shoulder slumping forward as she sighed. “He’ll do anything to help Billy get the 126 back. Anything.”

“Why do I get the feeling I don’t wanna know what actually happened?” His heart was racing in his chest as he started moving toward her.

She backed up though, her head shaking as she held a hand out.

He stopped in his tracks and swallowed.

This wasn’t a good sign.

“Billy and I dated…” He could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t want to talk about this.

And he wouldn’t force her.

But if she was willing to tell him what had happened, then he was willing to listen.

“I know, he told me.” Sort of, in a roundabout way.

“It didn’t…” She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, her feet kicking against the floor as she started to fidget. “It didn’t end well.”

“You told me you left him pretty scorned.” He imagined that Michelle had a way of doing that.

“That was a joke Owen.” Well great, now he felt like a complete ass.

“Oh.” He started toward her once more and when she didn’t make a move to run away he stepped closer, taking her free hand in his. “You don’t have to tell me Michelle.”

He could see the look in her eyes that said she was almost terrified to open her mouth.

He wondered if she had ever talked to anyone about this before.

“He slapped me around some.” That bastard was a dead man. “At first it was nothing, I held my own, fought back.”

“Michelle…” Domestic abuse was his biggest pet peeve and he would be damned if this was okay with him.

“Let me talk Owen.” She pulled her hand free and walked away from him, moving to sit in one of the chairs on the other side of the island. “It was fine, no biggie, but then one day…”

“It wasn’t fine anymore?” He turned toward her as he asked the question and she shook her head.

“He tuned me up pretty good. I wound up in the ER.” She swallowed as she wrung her hands together in front of her. “Carlos came and took care of me. But when he found out that it was Billy, when he found out just how bad the abuse had gotten, he flipped.”

“Well yeah, he should have.” He made a mental note to remind Carlos how pretty damn amazing he was.

“I refused to press chargers because I was scared.” Now that he couldn’t imagine. “Billy had connections and the last thing I needed was to lose my job because he was a scorned lover.”

“Let me guess, Carlos took matters into his own hands?” He couldn’t blame the guy.

Billy would be lucky if he survived the weekend after he found all this out.

“He filed an official complaint against him with the Austin FD. Went to Redford himself, showed him evidence of the abuse.” Good for him. “He never mentioned my name, never said it was about me, but he told him that if he didn’t handle the situation he would make sure that Billy never had a moment of peace for the rest of his life.”

“I knew I liked that kid for a reason.” And he did, like him that was, this was just the cherry on top of his reasons why.

“He risked everything for me. He… he put his career on the line.” She had tears streaming down her face and all Owen wanted to do was pull her close. 

“What did Redford do?” He didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer to that.

While the man had seemed nice at their first encounter, he was starting to really dislike the man.

“He took Billy off the job and gave him a mandatory six month probation.” That didn’t sound like nearly enough punishment. “But when the higher ups got word of it, they stepped in. Forced him to take anger management classes and made him take a year off. They didn’t try to hide what he had done. But Redford…”

“I get the feeling he has rose colored glasses when it comes to Billy?” God he really hated that man.

“He somehow found out it was me.” She shrugged her shoulders before reaching up and wiping at her eyes. “I guess Billy finally told him. He came after me, threatened my job, my life. Told me to drop the complaint or he’d make my life hell.”

“I’m gonna kill them both.” He scratched at the back of his neck as he huffed.

“You will do no such thing Owen.” She sighed as she eyed him softly. “It’s fine. It’s over with. It’s water under the bridge.”

“How? How is that water under the bridge?” He didn’t understand how she could just this go. “Billy abused you Michelle. He tried to ruin you. And so did Redford. That’s not okay.”

“Redford wised up that he should play nice when several ‘anonymous’ complaints were made to the big wigs about him.” The sneaky smile on her face told him that they weren’t that anonymous after all. “He dropped his shenanigans, but he’s been hell bent on getting me somehow ever since.”

“And Billy?” He couldn’t believe that the man hadn’t mentioned that their breakup had been bad.

Even without mentioning abuse.

He didn’t even try to paint Michelle as a bad person.

Although, that may have been because Owen didn’t give him the chance.

“It’s been a year and a half since it happened.” She took a deep breath, pushing herself to stand as she moved toward him. “It’s fine. I’m over it. I just… I don’t like him. I avoid him at every function.”

“He and Judd are friends…” Which he totally didn’t understand. “Does Judd know what he did to you?”

“He knows that he was mean and that we ended it.” The hurt look that crossed her face but quickly vanished made Owen believe that there was more to the story. “I never told him that Billy got physical.”

“You don’t think he’d believe you?” Judd did seem pretty hellbent on defending Billy at all costs.

“I think Judd would have a very hard time thinking that was true.” Which was the same thing. “I also think that Judd wouldn’t hesitate to kill the man if he knew truth. So it’s probably better that he stays ignorant on this one.”

“So that’s it? He just gets to hurt you like that and then walk around like he owns the place.” Owen wouldn’t settle for that.

Messing with him was one thing.

But going after Michelle, that was another.

“It’s over Owen, just… please… don’t bring this up to him.” She looked terrified and it broke his heart. “I wouldn’t put it past him to come after me.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” He stepped toward her then, not caring if she wanted space.

He would never let anything happen to her.

“If he takes the 126 from you Owen… that’s it. I’m done.” He knew they would all be done and it destroyed him.

“That’s why I have to do this Michelle.” He reached out and pushed her hair behind her ear with a soft smile. “I have to beat him at his own game.”

“At the expense of your own life?” She wasn’t handling this as well as he had hoped.

“It’ll be okay.” He leaned in and dropped his forehead to hers. “It has to be.”

She didn’t reply with words, only nodding her head as she closed her eyes.

And then she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him to her, hugging him tightly as she buried her face against her shoulder.

“I promise I won’t let him hurt you Michelle.” He pressed a kiss to her hair and goddamn did it make his hurt to think about what this was doing her.

Why couldn’t he have just left enough alone?


	10. 1x07

Michelle would be lying if she said that the past month had been easy.

Because it hadn’t been anywhere close.

And she was tired, so very tired.

All she wanted to do was sleep.

But it despite it being her day off she had a job to do.

And no amount of sleep was more important than making sure Emily got her meds.

“Michelle!” The little girl running toward her smiled as she held out her arms.

Michelle welcomed her with open arms, hugging her tightly as she spoke.

“There you are!” She had been worried for a minute when she didn’t see her inside the tent. “Hey!”

She reluctantly let go of the girl when she heard Patrick round the corner.

“Aw, I thought you two might’ve left and gone to the VA program.” She had been trying for months to convince them to go.

They should be somewhere safe and warm.

Or at least, Emily should be somewhere safe and warm.

“Ah, well, I’m almost ready.” That’s what he had said six months ago when she brought the idea up for the first time. “I really am this time.”

She prayed that it didn’t take something bad happening for him to realize that he needed to do what was best for Emily.

“We stopped by and checked it out.” She wasn’t convinced that he would ever be ready though.

“They gave me this?” Emily held up the stuffed teddy bear and Michelle couldn’t help but offer her a smile.

“Did they?” But that little girl deserved so much more than one little teddy bear.

If you asked Michelle, she deserved the whole damn world.

“You better take good of him like your daddy takes care of you.” She knew that Patrick loved his little girl, she would never deny that, not in a million years.

But this little girl needed a roof over her head and warm showers and food.

“You know I tried.” Trying wasn’t going to cut it forever though. “I didn’t lose her insulin on purpose.”

Michelle would never say it out loud but she didn’t think for a second that Emily’s insulin got ‘lost’.

“That’s all the more reason why you need be in the shelter.” But being somewhere that someone had eyes on them would help too.

“I can’t stay there at night. I just…” She got it, sort of. “I close my eyes and everything starts to close in.”

She understood that PTSD was no joke.

But her worry wasn’t about Patrick anymore.

It was about Emily.

And that poor girl needed more than her father could give her right now.

“I get it.” But it wasn’t her place to say or do anything to help.

Nothing other than to offer some free advice and provide them with the meds that she could.

“You remember this?” She turned back to Emily as she pulled the needle and syringe out of her bag. “Just a little pinch.”

Emily nodded her head as she hugged her bear close, watching as her father gave her the injection and wiped the spot clean.

She was probably the bravest girl Michelle had ever met and she just wished that she could do more.

Which is why she had given Patrick the phone and told them both to call her, anytime, day or night.

She would be there.

She had to be there.

—

Carlos had dragged her away not long after that conversation though, telling her that they found a lead on Iris’ case.

So she had left, but she hadn’t been able to get the girl and her father of her mind.

So despite dealing with Detective Washington and being in a foul mood all afternoon, she had done her best not to let it ruin her hope of one day getting Emily the help she needed.

Sighing to herself she kicked the tire of her Jeep as she slammed her hands against the side of the vehicle.

“Guess this wouldn’t be a good time to tell you I have to cancel our plans for tonight?” Well that was just great.

She was looking forward to being able to let loose and enjoy herself a little.

Something about being with Owen made her forget everything else that was going on in her life.

“Why?” She turned around quickly and shot daggers in his direction.

It really wasn’t a big deal, but right now, well right now she was angry.

“I’ve gotta keep training for the CPAT. TK’s off tonight and doesn’t have plans so…” He stopped talking when she rolled her eyes and she figured that that maybe wasn’t the right response to his comment.

“So you’re gonna go work on slowly killing yourself instead of spending the night with me?” God she sounded like a jealous bitch right now. “I see how it is.”

“Michelle…” Owen reached for her but she pushed his hand away with a growl. “It’s not like that. You know I need to train.”

“Fine, Owen, go train.” She was talking to him like she was in high school and he was blowing her off for something stupid like video games with his friends instead of date night with her.

Except, it kind of felt like that to be honest.

“Look, I know you don’t like the idea of me doing this…” He stopped once again when she turned away from him, grabbing her bag from the passenger seat before slamming the door shut behind her.

“No Owen, I hate the idea of you doing this.” She emphasized the ‘hate’ part of her sentence as she brushed past him and headed toward the firehouse.

If he was going to blow her off then she wasn’t going to go home and sit alone in an empty house and sulk all night.

“I thought you were going home.” He called after her.

“I changed my mind.” She turned around and shot him a dirty look, the sarcasm dripping from her words as she let it all out. “You know, people do that sometimes. Especially when something better pops up.”

And then she turned back around and stormed inside, taking the stairs two at a time in an attempt to get as far away from him as possible.

——————————————————————————————————

Owen was confused.

Really, really confused.

He got it, Michelle was pissed that he still wanted to run this CPAT.

He knew that it bothered her.

But he had to do this.

Not just for him, but for them.

But then TK was canceling on him at the last minute.

The kid claimed he was tired and needed sleep.

Owen bet it had something to do with whoever he had been sneaking out to see lately.

So instead he had picked up a pizza and grabbed a six pack of beer and headed to Michelle’s.

But she wasn’t home and she wasn’t answering her cell.

He contemplated leaving, but he figured that she would be back soon.

So he let himself inside and kicked off his shoes and made himself comfy on the couch.

And he must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he was waking up to someone dropping a blanket over him.

And then that someone was retreating down the hallway.

He heard the shower cut on a few minutes later so he pulled himself from the couch and quietly headed to the bathroom.

Part of him wanted to surprise her and just strip down and step in.

But after the mood she had been in earlier, he figured that wasn’t wise.

“Want some company?” He called softly as he leaned against the door frame.

He watched as the shower curtain pulled back and she tilted her head to the side, eyeing him softly.

“Sure.” Her response was whispered but she was smiling nonetheless.

So he stripped down and climbed in, his hands instantly going to her hips as he pulled her to him.

“I thought you were training tonight.” The sarcasm in her tone didn’t escape him and he simply made a face at her before kissing her softly.

“TK had to cancel.” He whispered as he pulled back, his forehead falling to rest against hers.

“Oh.” She didn’t sound the least bit sorry for him and he tickled her sides, laughing when she squealed and pushed him away. “I won’t apologize for that.”

“I don’t expect you too.” He knew she was mad at him.

He knew that she didn’t want him to do it.

“Good.” She huffed out, reaching around him to grab the shampoo off the hanging rack. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to take a shower here.”

He raised an eyebrow as she turned her back to him, but he wasn’t going to let her get away that easily.

He felt her body tense for a second as he pulled her to him, her back pressing against his chest as he nipped at her neck.

“Like you wouldn’t appreciate a little distraction.” He knew her well enough to know that she always liked a good distraction.

“Owen…” Her tone was warning, but teasing at the same time, and he couldn’t help but chuckle as he let his right hand slowly make it’s way down her body.

She let out a low moan when he let a finger dip between her legs, running over her core slowly.

“Want me to stop?” He moved his left hand up to cup her breast, his lips nipping and kissing along her neck as he waited for an answer.

The slight shake of her head told him all he needed to know so he got to work, moving his whole hand down, sliding a finger into her with ease.

She let out a small whimper, her head falling back as he rubbed his thumb over her folds.

“Good?” He knew the answer to that question and yet he couldn’t help but ask it.

“Mhm.” She whined out, her eyes slamming shut as he added another finger.

He chuckled softly as he continued his movements, his hands doing all the work as he left what he knew would be a nice looking hickey on her neck.

She’d probably kill him in the morning for it, but he was proud of his handiwork.

“Owen…” The sound her dragging out his name as she reached up to cup his arms tightly almost did him in right then and there.

So he picked up speed and ran his thumb over just the right spot and the next thing he knew she was coming undone.

“You okay?” He gave her a minute to come down from her high before spinning her around and kissing her softly.

She nodded her head as she reached up and threaded her fingers through his hair.

Yeah, he had to agree with her on this one.

This was so much better than training for the CPAT.

—

But so was the sweet victory of watching Billy get struck by lightning.

Not that he would ever say that out loud.

But after the things the man had said about him.

About his team and even his own son.

After he had learned the horrible truths about what he had done to Michelle.

Well the man was lucky that Owen was a firefighter first and a human being second.

Because any decent man would have just left him laying there.

—

He had gone to see him in the hospital though, for what reason he wasn’t sure.

But something inside him told him to be the bigger person in this situation.

Especially after his team had been so supportive and he had felt the victory of getting to keep his job.

He had felt a little, relieved he guessed it was, seeing Billy in that hospital bed.

There was very little that could be done to the man that would make up for all the hell he had put everyone through.

But this was a start.

And despite agreeing that they were better off as ‘friends’ instead of enemies he didn’t actually agree with his own words.

But again, it was best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

—————————————————————————————

Michelle had been shocked when Detective Washington had called her.

She certainly wasn’t expecting any news on Iris’ case just yet.

But she prayed that it was good news, something that would help find her sister once and for all.

She had been thankful when Carlos had agreed to go with her.

“Just in case.” He whispered as they stepped out of the car and onto the road.

She nodded her head as she made her way toward the detective.

And then she waited.

Waited for something, anything, that would give her her sister back.

But as she watched the pick up truck being pulled from over the median she felt her heart break.

Even though she knew this was possible, it was the opposite of the outcome that she wanted.

“I’m so sorry Chica.” Carlos reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing gently as he stepped closer to her.

“We’ll get the truck back to the garage and go through it’s contents.” Detective Washington said softly. “I promise I’ll call you once we have something.”

Michelle simply nodded her head before dropping Carlos’ hand and making her way toward his cruiser.

She just wanted to disappear.

To run away and never come back.

This had all been too much.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Carlos asked softly as he slid into the driver’s seat a few minutes later. “Your moms?”

“Owen’s.” She choked out the man’s name and Carlos simply nodded his reply.

“Owen’s it is.” And then they were headed toward his place, the silence in the car killing her.

She knew that Carlos was hurting too, she could see it in his eyes and hear it in the tone of his voice.

But he would never show her that.

He would never take away from her pain in order to showcase his.

They pulled up in front of Owen’s house a few minutes later and the man was waiting on the porch for them.

“I texted him before we left the scene.” She should’ve known Carlos would be looking out for her. “Figured this is where you’d wind up eventually.”

It was where she seemed to be winding up an awful lot lately.

“Thank you Carlos.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek before exiting the vehicle and making her way toward Owen.

“Hi.” Owen whispered softly as he offered a wave toward the cop before the vehicle pulled off.

“Hi.” She whispered back as she stayed put at the bottom of the stairs.

She knew she was welcome inside, but she felt so weighed down and so heavy and tired and she didn’t know how to just walk inside like everything was fine.

“I made a lasagna. And pulled out the fancy tequila.” He smiled at her softly as she wrapped her arms around herself. “Figured we could watch a movie, maybe get drunk, play one of those video games that TK enjoys playing when he’s really, really mad.”

She could help but chuckle at his words.

He knew her so damn well it scared her sometimes.

“Okay.” She nodded her head as she made her way up the stairs, hugging him tightly when he extended his arms in her direction. “Thank you.”

She didn’t even know if she had said those words loud enough for him to hear, but she wanted to make sure they were out there.

“You’re very welcome.” He pressed a kiss to her head as he ran a hand up her back.

“I don’t wanna talk about it though.” She pulled back and gave him a stern look.

“Then we won’t talk about it.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her forehead before continuing. “But if you do wanna talk about it, we can.”

She knew that he was there for her and that he would help her in any way he could.

But right now, all she wanted to do was forget everything that was happening around her.


	11. 1X08 part 1

Four days later Michelle got a call from Detective Washington letting her know that she they had found something.

She wouldn’t tell her what when she talked to her on the phone.

Just that she thought Michelle should come down to the garage and see something for herself.

She didn’t even want to know what that could mean.

So she had crawled out of bed and kissed a sleeping Owen on the head before sneaking out into the bathroom and getting ready.

And when she called Carlos to come pick her up he had already been on the way.

“How did you know to come get me?” She probably should have started with a greeting of sorts, but it was like Carlos was some kind of mind reader these days.

“Detective Washington called me after she talked to you.” That made more sense.

“Oh.” She shrugged her shoulders as she stepped back inside to grab her bag, watching as Carlos did a sweep of the living room and kitchen with his eyes. “He’s still asleep.”

She knew exactly who he was looking for.

“Huh?” He tried to act like he had no idea what she was talking about and it was kind of cute.

“Owen.” She nodded toward the bedroom as she ushered Carlos back outside, pulling the door shut behind her and locking it. “He had chemo yesterday and he’s pretty wiped. He didn’t sleep much last night either. Figured I’d let him sleep in some.”

“Didn’t sleep much last night huh?” He waggled his eyebrows at her as he spoke.

“Yeah, because he was throwing up.” It had been a rough night for them both in fact.

Michelle tried to help as best she could but there wasn’t much that seemed to make him feel better.

No amount of head rubs and ginger ale and darkness had been enough.

“Oh.” She knew that wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but it was the truth.

“Yeah.” She climbed into the passenger seat with a sigh. “It was… it wasn’t fun.”

“He’s been spending an awful lot of time over here lately.” He stared at her from his seat as he spoke and she felt like she was under a microscope all of a sudden. “And you’ve been spending a lot of time over there as well.”

“Not really Carlos, we’ve both been pretty busy lately.” They were still doing their best to see each other when they could.

But lately it had been less about the sex and more about just being together.

She was pretty certain that that was what a relationship looked like.

“Things are getting kinda serious.” Oh for Christ’s sake, no they weren’t.

“No they aren’t Carlos.” She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared straight ahead. “We’re still just having fun. It’s nothing serious.”

“You two are dating Michelle. Dating.” He gestured to Owen’s car in the driveway and made a face. “This, this is what dating looks like.”

She rolled her eyes at his words.

“We’re not dating.” And they weren’t, were they?

“Yes, yes you are.” He seemed so certain.

She really needed another opinion on this.

“Judd said the two of you make heart eyes at each other all shift long. It’s gross.” They did not, and even if they did, it wasn’t gross. “And TK has caught you trying to sneak out more times than he can count.”

They did their best to avoid being at Owen’s house if TK was there.

Not that it was a secret.

She knew that Owen had told him about the two of them.

But it was awkward.

She had to work with TK.

She suspected that him knowing that she was also sleeping with his dad was probably a little awkward.

“And you’ve been at the Honky Tonk together almost once a week.” Had they really? “He sleeps over Michelle, he makes you breakfast, brings you coffee at work. You’re dating.”

“Fuck.” She whispered out her sentiment as she slammed her head back against the head rest. “We agreed…”

“Well whatever agreement you had,” He reached over and squeezed her hand softly, “it’s been broken. Because it’s no longer just sex. Is it?”

She shook her head back and forth as she closed her eyes.

It was far from being just sex at this point.

So far from it.

—

She had been thankful when Carlos hadn’t said anything else and after having to deal with Detective Washington all morning, she was so over it all.

“How’d it go?” Owen’s voice echoing through the silence of her office made her jump.

She hadn’t expected to see him in today.

Not with the way yesterday and last night had gone.

“Okay.” She whispered, watching as he shut the door behind him to give them some privacy.

“You don’t look like it went ‘okay’.” He gave her a soft look as he moved to sit down across from her. “What’s up?”

“I uh…” She took a deep breath as she tried to gather her thoughts.

She wanted to tell him, she really did.

But talking about it all was sometimes too much.

“They found something?” He asked the question she’d been dreading and she felt her heart sink.

“I identified a bracelet that was Iris’.” She barely got the words out before he was standing and moving around toward her. “They found it inside the truck.”

He reached out and took her hands in his.

She wondered why he was being so bold and outwardly affectionate.

They could get caught at any time.

“I’m so sorry Michelle.” Yeah, so was she.

“They won’t know anything about the DNA for a few more days though.” She whispered as she pulled her hands away and wiped at her face.

“Well, hopefully they don’t find any.” Part of her prayed that they didn’t.

But part of her…

“Maybe they will.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I just… I want…”

“Closure.” He took the word right out of her mouth.

“Yeah.” She just wanted answers.

“You’re almost hoping they find her remains so that you can stop looking?” She didn’t want to say the words out loud so she was glad he did it for her.

“I’m just so damn tired of searching.” She choked out, her eyes filling with tears as he reached out and pulled her up, tugging her into his arms before pressing a kiss to her head.

They were so going to get busted by someone.

“I want her to be alive, I really do, but…” She just wanted things to go back to normal.

Or as normal as they could.

“I get it.” He pulled back from the hug and offered her a smile. “Hopefully you’ll have some answers soon.”

God she hoped so.

She got ready to respond when the alarm went off, alerting them to a call, and she sighed.

Saved by the bell she supposed.

Owen squeezed her shoulders softly before taking off out the door.

When she turned she saw Judd standing in the hallway, his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face.

“Not dating huh?” He asked her jokingly as she walked past him.

“I’m never telling Carlos anything again.” She huffed out as Judd chuckled behind her.

“Looks pretty serious to me Chelle.” Ugh, she hated her friends sometimes.

“Shut up Judson.” She swung her arm back at him and he ducked.

“I’m calling a July wedding.” She rolled her eyes at his comment and flipped him the bird, just as Tim and Nancy came strolling by.

“Michelle’s getting married?” Oh great, now Judd was going to have everything thinking this was actually a thing.

“No!” She shouted at them both. “I am not. Judd just thinks he’s being cute. Which he’s not. So he had better shut up.”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Judd climbed into the truck as she climbed into the back of the ambulance and she let out a sigh.

She was going to kill Carlos when she saw him again.

Owen was glad that his doctor had given him the good news about his cancer.

The fact that the tumor in his lungs was shrinking was definitely something worth celebrating.

So he had done the same thing any sane man would do.

He drove downtown and adopted a dog.

But not just any dog.

No, he adopted a dog with the same kind of lung cancer as him.

A dog named Buttercup.

He had made an instant friend and he was instantly in love.

He had always wanted a dog but the tiny apartments he had lived in in New York never allowed for one.

But here, here he could have a dog.

Hell, he could have more than one dog if he wanted.

He figured that starting with just one was his best bet right now though.

“I hear you got a dog today.” The soft sound of Michelle’s voice made him look up from the pile of paperwork that was covering his desk.

TK must have let her in.

Either that or she just broke into his house.

“Yes. Yes I did.” He wondered for a second where in the hell Buttercup had gone. “His name is Buttercup.”

“We met.” She leaned against the door frame and smiled. “He’s very sweet.”

“He has cancer.” He didn’t know why he said it like that.

“That’s what the rumor going around the station is.” People at that damn firehouse would talk about anything wouldn’t they.

“Did TK let you in?” Best to talk about something else besides rumors and the firehouse. “Or did you break into my house?”

“He let me in.” Well thank God for that. “On his way out the door might I add.”

Owen chuckled at the confused look on Michelle’s face.

“It’s not cause you’re here, I promise.” He had figured there would eventually come a time when their path’s would cross at the house. “He had plans with whoever it is that he’s been seeing lately.”

Michelle laughed before biting her lip to stop herself.

“Sorry.” He didn’t understand what was so funny. “You know who else was in a hurry to head out with the ‘boy they’ve been seeing lately’?”

She knew who TK was seeing?

Oh this was good.

“Who?” He thought he knew who it was, he wasn’t blind, or stupid. “If you tell me it’s that cop you’re always hanging out with Judd owes me $20.”

“Really Owen?” She didn’t sound the least bit upset, rather, she sounded amused.

“We’ve been trying to figure it out for a few weeks now.” He knew TK was trying to be sneaky, but he had caught him making flirty eyes at the cop that always somehow managed to be at their scenes.

He had been a firefighter his entire adult life, you never got that lucky.

“Fine, I’ll give.” She stepped into his office and offered him a smile. “But you split that $20 with me.”

“How about I use it to pay for dinner?” Maybe he could trick her into a date, a real date. “Something nice? Something other than Chinese or Pizza?”

“Deal.” The smile she gave him told him that she was well aware of his plans.

The fact that she didn’t seem bothered by them made his heart swell.

“He’s seeing Officer Reyes.” Ah, he was right, and Judd, well Judd was very wrong. “Carlos. He’s seeing Carlos.”

“Isn’t he your best friend?” He had heard her mention Carlos a couple of times, especially lately.

“That he is.” Well that had to mean something, right?

Michelle wouldn’t hang out with someone who was bad for her.

“He a good guy?” He wouldn’t stand to see TK get hurt again.

“He’s a great guy.” She smiled as he rose from his chair, making his way toward her slowly.

“Good to know.” He stopped in front of her and she raised an eyebrow at him.

“How’d your appointment go?” She had been holding that question back for a while judging by the concerned look on her face.

“Good. Sort of.” Her face fell though and he instantly regretted phrasing things like that. “Not like that… not bad.”

He shook his head before stepping around her and heading toward the kitchen.

It hadn’t hit him until he had gotten up how hungry he was.

“That’s it? That’s all your gonna say?” She followed after him quickly, her hand reaching out to grab his arm as he opened the fridge and let his eyes wander over the emptiness of the shelves.

He pulled back and shut the door before doing the same with the freezer.

“For the love of God Owen just tell me!” She was a little on edge there wasn’t she?

“The tumor’s shrinking.” He closed the door to the freezer and watched as she beamed back at him. “I have to stop drinking though. And I’m supposed to get more sleep.”

“Oh thank God.” She reached out and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close as she buried her face against his shoulder.

He couldn’t help but smile at her response.

This wasn’t something that you did with someone you were just sleeping with.

Right?

“Did you hear the part where I’m supposed to stop drinking?” He pulled back and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have been drinking to begin with.” Dammit, he thought she’d be on his side.

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Not that he would have listened to her.

“Would you have listened to me?” He shook his head back and forth as he chuckled. “That’s what I thought.”

But the drinking had been what brought them together in the first place.

And it’s what had kept them sleeping together for at least the first few times.

Not that he didn’t enjoy the sex, because damn was the sex good.

But at first, it had definitely been about being drunk and having fun.

He wouldn’t deny that.

But now, now it was about so much more.

“And she’s right, you do need more sleep.” Michelle reached out and ran her thumb along the dark circles under his eyes. “I’ve felt you getting up in the middle of the night more.”

“Yeah, all that tequila makes me have to pee.” That wasn’t a lie, not entirely.

“You don’t come back sometimes.” She dropped her hand to his cheek and left it there. “Judd said you do the same at the station. Get up and not go back to bed. What’s going on?”

“Oh you know, life.” Now was not the time for sarcasm but he really didn’t want to talk about this.

How did he bring up the fact that his own mortality was looming over his head a lot more lately?

How did he tell her that not only was he letting the cancer get to him, but he was also letting her get to him?

He was falling for her, so damn fast it was making him dizzy.

But he couldn’t tell her that that was part of what was keeping him up at night.

That sleeping next to her was intoxicating, in all the right ways, and he couldn’t get enough of her.

“Owen…?” Yeah, she wasn’t buying his bullshit either.

He got ready to answer when her phone went off and she let out a sigh as she checked the message.

“I’ve gotta go.” She leaned in and kissed him softly, her hand falling down to squeeze his before she walked away.

“Be safe!” He called after her, his voice finding it hard to get the words out.

She offered him a wave as she headed out the door.

And then it was just him and Buttercup and the sound of silence.


	12. 1x08 part 2

Michelle was not having a good night.

Not at all.

And after having listened to those 911 calls made by her sister, after finding out that Iris was gone, her heart had been so heavy and so tired.

She just wanted to sleep.

Well, first, she wanted to have a good cry.

Then she wanted to sleep.

For days preferably.

But first she needed to go to her mom.

She had to be the one to tell her.

No matter how badly it hurt.

“And they’re sure?” Well, DNA didn’t lie, at least as far as Michelle had always been told.

“The blood was a match.” She was still holding out the tiniest bit of hope, especially since Detective Washington said that none of the skeletons had been identified yet.

That could mean she was still out there, right?

“And what about her body?” She knew her mom had to know that just finding blood didn’t mean a thing.

“They still have to identify the remains that they found out there, and that’s gonna take some time.” How much time, she didn’t want to know. “But Iris was definitely in the truck.”

“Well who is that Wade person?” Michelle wanted to know that too.

How did they meet?

Where did they meet?

And why?

Why would Iris want to be around such a low life?

“Wade Caldwell. He was a bad guy mom.” Which was the opposite of who her sister was.

“Why would your sister be involved with someone like that?” She wished she had the answers. “A freaking criminal? A monster? It just, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“I don’t think Wade Caldwell was Iris’ monster mom.” But knowing what Michelle did about mental illness, and specifically, the one she thought Iris was probably struggling from, she probably never saw him as a bad guy. “I think the monster was inside of her.”

It hurt to say that, especially about her own sister.

But she knew it had to be true.

She knew that something else was going on here.

It was the only way to explain her sister’s behavior.

“She had an illness.” One that they had ignored for far too long. “She was exhibiting signs of schizophrenia.”

There, she had said it, out loud, for the first time since she started to suspect it over four years ago.

“What?” And of course her mother reacted the way she expected.

“Mom, we both witnessed it.” On more than one occasion, for more time than she should probably admit. “The jumbled speech, the inappropriate laughter. The sudden bursts of anger.”

“Oh your sister was always moody.” Except this was worse than being moody.

Michelle knew what moody was like.

This was far from it.

“Mom. This was more than moody.” She hated that she was the only one who thought this.

Maybe it was for the best if Iris was dead.

Lord knows her mother wouldn’t have been willing to support her getting help.

“This was something else.” She knew she was right.

“No.” But again, her mother was in denial.

Just like when her father had gotten sick.

Just like when Billy was roughing her up.

Her mom always turned a blind eye to anyone that wasn’t Iris.

But to her, Iris was perfect, and she always would be.

“I’m sorry. I know this is hard.” She didn’t want her mother to have to live with knowing that her daughter was sick like that. “She was sick and somehow I knew it. I knew it and then… I was so angry at her because of it that I ignored it. I ignored her.”

“That’s not true.” Yes it was.

“It is true.” She had been a terrible big sister their whole lives, but in those last few months before the accident, God she was embarrassed with the way she had treated her. “She called me so many times. That night she called and I just… I didn’t pick up. I could’ve saved her but I didn’t.”

The guilt had weighed on her so much the past few months.

More so than in the time before it.

It was getting harder to live with the idea that if she had simply picked up the phone that Iris might still be here.

Her mom didn’t speak, instead she stood up and reached out, pulling Michelle into a hug.

It was the first time they had hugged since this whole thing began.

She prayed that it wouldn’t be the last.

—

After she had left her mom’s she had driven around for a good hour before she had given up.

She knew where she wanted to be and there was no denying it.

She needed comfort, support, something more than the half drunk tequila bottle sitting on her kitchen counter.

More than the empty bed and the silent house.

So she had driven to Owen’s and parked her Jeep behind his and waited.

Waited for what, she wasn’t sure.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she answered without checking to see who it was.

“You gonna come in or not?” Well, there wasn’t any avoiding it now was there?

“Yeah.” She nodded her head even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I’ll be right there.”

She hung up the phone and exited the vehicle, making her way to the front door slowly.

It opened and Buttercup came trotting out onto the porch, Owen leaning against the door frame as he offered her a smile.

“It’s almost midnight.” He whispered. “How long were you gonna sit there?”

She shrugged her shoulders as she knelt down, scratching the pup behind his ears and nuzzling him softly.

“How long did you drive around before winding up here?” Dammit he was good, way too good.

“Only an hour.” She whispered her response before standing, making her way toward him as he gestured inside with a smile.

“I take it the text you got earlier wasn’t good news?” Was it that obvious how upset she was?

“No.” She shook her head as Buttercup trailed past them and headed toward the stairs, stopping halfway up and looking back at them.

“Well, you’re here now, so we can talk if you want.” She nodded her head slowly as she started toward the couch. “Uh uh, come on. Upstairs.”

She wasn’t sure what he was getting at, but the thought of collapsing into his bed sounded wonderful.

“We have to share the bed with Buttercup now.” He said with a chuckle as they made their toward his room. “But he’s a good snuggler, so…”

There was no way that dog was a good of a snuggler as Owen.

Not that she would ever say that out loud.

“It’s fine.” She stepped into the room and watched as the dog jumped onto the bed, taking his spot in the middle. “I um…”

“Yeah, you can borrow a shirt, already put it in the bathroom.” Owen climbed into the bed and rubbed Buttercup’s head before settling back against the pillows. “Take your time.”

She nodded her head in thanks and headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her with a sigh.

She was entirely too wrapped up in this man and it had to stop.

She couldn’t stand to lose another person that she loved because she was careless and stupid.

His cancer wouldn’t kill him, but her recklessness might.

Or, at the very least, she would break his heart.

Or he would break hers.

She didn’t know which was worse.

—

When she stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later Owen was on his side, Buttercup curled up at his feet, and his eyes were closed.

She should have just snuck out.

It would have been easier.

“Can we talk?” She knew that she didn’t need to ask him that.

He was always there for her when she needed him.

She assumed that this wouldn’t be any different.

“Of course.” He opened his eyes and pushed himself up into a sitting position. “What’s up?”

She wrung her hands together in front of her as she sighed.

“I think we should…” She took a deep breath because she knew this was going to hurt. “I think we should end this… whatever this is.”

If she had thought that he would take it easily she had been wrong.

And judging by the pained look in his eyes, she was really, really wrong.

“Oh. Um…” He ran a hand through his hair as he straightened himself up a little. “I… I thought things were going good.”

“I just…” She honestly couldn’t think of a valid reason for them ending whatever it was that they were doing. “I think we’re just… it’s not just sex anymore Owen.”

There, she had said.

She had put it out there for the whole world to hear.

Well, for him and Buttercup to hear, which right now, was more than enough.

“I know.” He whispered, not looking the least bit uneasy about that announcement. “That’s okay. I mean… it’s okay with me anyway. I thought… I thought you were okay with it too.”

She sighed as she started pacing back and forth.

She was okay with it.

She wasn’t fooling anyone.

“It’s just a lot right now Owen.” She couldn’t make sense of her own words and she hated herself for this.

“Then we sit down and talk about it.” He moved forward to the edge of the bed, reaching out for her hands when she walked past him. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. What’s really bothering you about all this? Did I do something wrong? Did someone say something?”

God he was so perfect.

This is why she didn’t deserve him.

“No. No one said anything.” The only ones who knew about them were their closest friends, and from what she could tell, none of them seemed the least bit bothered by it. “And you didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve been… perfect.”

He shook his head at her words and tried to tug her to him.

She fought it for a second, but gave in when she saw his face fall.

“I think that’s the problem.” She whispered as she moved to stand in front of him. “You’re too perfect for me.”

“Bullshit.” He pulled her down until she was straddling his hips, her hands moving to rest against his chest.

“I’ve never been in a relationship like this before.” In all honesty, she hadn’t been in any real relationships before.

Unless you counted Billy.

But she was pretty sure that being treated like dirt and being slapped around by the man didn’t constitute a real relationship.

“Well there’s a first time for everything.” Owen smiled at her as he reached up and pushed some hair behind her ear. “How about we start from the beginning? Do this right?”

“Do what right?” She didn’t know how to fix this, not that it was broken.

“Us. This. Our… whatever this is.” He leaned in and kissed her softly before resting his forehead against hers. “Let’s date.”

“Date?” Dating was for young people, not for, well, people their age.

“Yes. Date.” He seemed serious about the whole thing and she sighed as she waited for him to explain more. “Dinner. Holding hands. Not having sex at every turn. We get to know each other. We talk, we listen. Date.”

“But I like having sex with you.” She waggled her eyebrows at him and he chuckled.

“I know.” He said softly, his hand sneaking under the hem of her shirt to rest against her hip. “And I like having sex with you too.”

“But…?” She knew there was a ‘but’ coming.

“But I think we may have skipped some of the important things.” He had a point there.

“Dating’s hard.” Again, it wasn’t like she had much experience in that matter.

“Only if we make it hard.” Again, he had a point. “We’re already friends Michelle. Pretty good friends if you ask me?”

She nodded her head in agreement and watched as he smiled back at her.

“And we know the physical part is there.” Boy did they ever. “So let’s try the emotional part. The mental part. Let’s get to know each other.”

“Let’s date?” She was still weirded out by the whole concept.

She figured the ‘just sex’ part was easier.

“Let’s date.” He pressed another kiss to her lips and she couldn’t help but let her fingers move to tangle in his hair as she nipped at his bottom lip.

“Okay.” She whispered her response against his cheek after they pulled apart. “We can date.”

He pressed a kiss to her head in agreement and she couldn’t help but snuggle close.

“But first, we sleep.” He must have read her mind.

“Thank God.” She crawled out of his lap and on to the bed, burrowing herself in the covers as she watched him step into the bathroom.

He returned a moment later and climbed into bed beside her.

“Good night Michelle.” He whispered as he pulled her into his arms, his lips pressing a soft kiss against her shoulder.

“Night Owen.” She said as she yawned, her body instantly snuggling as close to him as possible.

She hoped that ‘dating’ didn’t mean cutting out spending the night together.

Because sex or no sex, falling asleep in Owen’s arms was becoming the only way she got any rest.


	13. 1x08 part 3

Owen couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t believe that his son had been shot.

His son.

His little boy.

How the hell did this shit always happen to them?

He didn’t know what sparked his sudden need for a good prayer.

But alas, here he was.

Making his way to the chapel for the first time in who knew how long.

He wasn’t a God fearing man by any means.

But right now, maybe he needed to be.

But what shocked him even more than finding himself down here, was finding Michelle sitting in the front row.

Her hands were clasped together in her lap and her head was down.

She was praying.

For what he didn’t know.

“Hey, I’m not interrupting am I?” He figured that would probably be bad mojo and all.

“No, not at all.” She looked shocked to see him standing there and he understood.

But he needed a breather and he knew that TK couldn’t possibly be in any better hands than those of Carlos.

“Are you okay?” He couldn’t imagine what the others were going through.

Sure, he was feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.

But that was the thing about being a parent.

The others though, this wasn’t their burden to carry.

And yet, they all were in some form or another.

“Am I?” She was still shaking some, her leg bouncing just enough for him to tell that her nerves were still worked up.

“Yeah. Your team told me that you had some not-so good news yourself.” He had figured that something was bothering her after she came over last night and kind of lost it on him. “I’m really sorry about your sister Michelle.”

He wished that she had told him what was bothering her so much.

He should have known that it wasn’t just their relationship that was taking it’s toll on her.

“You’re here checking up on me?” Well yeah, where else was he supposed to be.

“Well, yeah.” Wasn’t that what boyfriends did?

He was her boyfriend now wasn’t he?

“You’re a good man Owen Strand.” So she liked to tell him.

But right now, right now he wasn’t feeling too good about himself.

“You saved my son’s life.” But he was feeling pretty good about her.

In fact, a tiny voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to tell her the truth.

That this wasn’t just sex and that it hadn’t been for a long time.

That this wasn’t even just dating.

Not for him.

Not anymore.

He was falling in love with her and every ounce of his goddamn brain and heart knew it.

“Any hope he has of ever…” He couldn’t get the words out though because it was too hard to think about it. “It’s because of you.”

He wasn’t just talking about TK anymore though was he?

She reached out and touched his shoulder and by God if this wasn’t a house of God he would have kissed her right then and there.

“That boy is a survivor, like his dad.” Oh for fuck’s sake she was too good to him.

He didn’t know how to respond so he reached out and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently.

“Thank you.” She didn’t hesitate to wrap her fingers around hers, bringing their hands to rest on her knee.

It was the smallest of gestures, but it was exactly what he needed right now.

He hoped it was helping her out some too.

He heard her phone vibrate and he watched as she pulled it from her back pocket slowly.

“Um. It’s the group I volunteer for.” She had told him briefly about the people she was helping at the homeless camp and his heart had swelled with pride.

She truly was superwoman.

“I think they’ll be fine if you let this one go to voicemail.” He certainly didn’t expect her to take any important calls right now.

God knows he wouldn’t be.

“I won’t ever ignore a call from someone who needs me again.” He knew she felt the guilt of her sister’s situation weighing down on her even more now and he understood.

She couldn’t let someone else potentially be harmed because she was ‘too busy’.

It was an unfortunate hazard of the job sometimes.

“Well then…” He gestured to her phone and she nodded as she took the call.

And then she was rushing out the door and down the hall before he could get another word in.

Michelle had left the hospital in a total rush, the only thought running through her head as she headed to the homeless camp being that she had to make sure Emily was okay.

But it wasn’t Emily that was hurt, instead it was her father.

And after calling for an ambulance she had stood with the girl as they shocked her father back to life.

The paramedics had allowed Emily to ride with her father to the hospital, but after Michelle informed them that there was no one else, they had asked for her to meet them there.

Part of her wanted to say ‘no’.

But she couldn’t just leave Emily there all alone all night.

And she didn’t want CPS to get involved if they didn’t have too.

So drove back in the direction she had just come, pulling into a new parking space at Austin Memorial, and making her way back into the ER once again.

Emily greeted her with tears and a hug that she refused to let end.

She couldn’t imagine how scared she was.

She sat with her in the waiting room until she saw a familiar figure appear in the hallway just outside.

She waved Owen over and was thankful when he nodded his head in agreement, turning and saying something to Judd and Grace as they headed outside.

And then he was making his way toward her.

“Hey.” He knelt down in front of her and whispered, careful not to wake the sleeping child in her lap. “What happened?”

“Her dad collapsed.” She ran a hand over the girl’s hair as she held her close. “Not sure what happened. They had to shock him on scene.”

“How is she? How are you?” He reached out and touched Michelle’s arm softly, offering her a reassuring look.

“We’re both very tired.” And that was the truth if there ever was one.

She certainly hadn’t counted on this day being so damn long.

“Let’s get you two out of here then.” He rose from his crouched position and offered her a hand.

She nodded her head as she lifted Emily up, shocked when Owen reached out to take her.

She hesitated at first, but her back was killing her and she felt like she was going to pass out herself.

She directed Owen toward her car, handing over her keys as she buckled a still sleeping Emily into the backseat, and then they were off.

“Your place?” The question was almost lost on her, the quiet hum of the car lulling her almost to sleep.

“Sure.” She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with the girl, but she wasn’t about to let her sleep in a hospital chair all night. “What about TK, Owen?”

He had just willingly left his only son, alone, at the hospital, after he’d been shot.

The kid was in a coma for Christ’s sake.

And here he was driving her and a child that he didn’t even know to her house so that they could sleep.

“He’s fine.” Owen whispered as he reached over and took her hand in his. “They wouldn’t let us stay any longer anyway. Practically had to pry Carlos away from him.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty smitten.” She heard him chuckle and she squeezed his hand as she opened her eyes. “He’ll be okay.”

“I know he will.” He didn’t sound convinced, but the fact that he had left him was a sign. “The doctor’s will call if anything changes. But I can’t just sit around there all night and worry. It won’t end well.”

She smiled at him as she nodded her head, her eyes growing heavy once again.

But they pulled into her driveway just as she started to doze off, so she had extracted herself from the car and watched as Owen carried Emily to the front door.

She let them all in, kicking her shoes off as she stepped inside.

“I’ll get her settled.” She reached out for the girl, taking her from Owen as she started to stir. “Thank you.”

“No worries.” He toed his shoes off and made his way to the couch. “I’ll shower when you’re done?”

He didn’t have to stay and she knew that he knew that.

“Okay.” But she was thankful that he was here nonetheless.

—

After she had gotten Emily to wake up enough to take a quick shower she had draped an old t-shirt of Iris’ over her tiny frame and tucked her into her bed with a stuffed animal that she guessed had probably once been Iris’ too.

And then she had slipped in and taken a shower herself.

Owen had joined her after a few minutes and she had been shocked.

But he had behaved himself, save for a kiss that said everything she didn’t need him to say, and then some.

He had gotten out and dried off before her, allowing her some time to herself.

She hadn’t taken it though, not that she didn’t appreciated it.

But the fact that she could barely hold her eyes open wasn’t helping.

So she had pulled on her underwear and one of Owen’s old shirts before sneaking into the bedroom in search of a pair of pajama bottoms.

When she exited the room a minute later Owen was stretched out on the couch, his eyes closing as he let out a yawn.

“Thank you for this.” She hoped he knew just how much she meant it.

She knew it couldn’t be easy on him to be away from TK like this.

Lord knows it was hard enough on her, and he wasn’t even her son.

“No problem.” He cracked an eye open and reached a hand out for her.

She took it as she stepped toward him, sitting on the edge of the couch as she watched him stare up at her.

“You go get some sleep.” He whispered, his thumb brushing over the back of her hand softly. “I’ll be here if you girls need me.”

She didn’t know how to respond without falling completely apart.

So she leaned down and pressed a small kiss to his lips.

“You, Owen Strand, are a good man.” She echoed her words from earlier that night and the soft smile that he gave her in return said everything she needed to know.

“So you keep saying.” It was almost as if he didn’t believe her. “Now go. Sleep. You look like hell.”

“You’re one to talk.” She placed another kiss to his lips, then one to his jaw, before pulling back and squeezing his hand. “Goodnight Owen.”

“Night Michelle.” He closed his eyes again and she released his hand as she stood.

She grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and tossed it over him, watching as a small smile formed on his lips.

There was something about seeing him laying there, all relaxed and sleepy like, that made her heart flutter.

She was definitely thankful to have him around right now.

Even if she didn’t deserve it.


	14. 1x09 part 1

Owen had been more than happy to help Michelle with Emily the past few days, but now that the girl was with her aunt, there wasn’t much more they could do.

Michelle had wanted her to stay with her longer, but the law was the law, and neither of them had the right to interfere with that.

So instead Michelle had returned to work and he had stayed by TK’s side.

Vigilant and hopeful and praying.

Dear God had he been praying.

“Hey you.” The sound of Michelle’s voice from behind him startled him from his thoughts.

It was the first time she’d been to the hospital since the first night and he was honestly surprised to see her there.

She had told him that hospitals were hard for her.

Especially since her father had passed away.

He understood though, hospitals were never his favorite place either.

“Hey.” He turned toward her and smiled, pushing himself to stand as he reached out for her.

“How is he?” She whispered her question and it made his heart twinge.

It didn’t matter how loud they talked, TK wouldn’t hear them.

“He’s uh…” He reached up and ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. “He’s hanging in there.”

“Judd said there had been some changes.” She reached out and took his hand in hers. “That’s why I came by. I wanted to make sure you guys were okay.”

He nodded his head as he squeezed her hand in his.

He would never get tired of that feeling.

“They’re calling it a level two coma.” He had tried to listen as the doctors had rattled off statistics and big words that he’d never understand. “He moans a little, chews in his sleep.”

Even Carlos had had trouble understanding half of what they were saying about what was going on and why.

Michelle simply nodded her head, squeezing his hand once more as she urged him to continue.

“He’s probably starving.” And if Owen knew his son, the only thing that would make him happy when he woke up would be a giant slice of New York style pizza.

Not the weird shit they had here in Texas.

“It seems like he’s gonna wake up, and he just…” He hated this, probably worse than he had ever hated anything, even the two ODs. “doesn’t.”

“I’m so sorry.” She squeezed his hand once more and he nodded in response.

“We were lucky.” He whispered after a minute. “Thanks to you.”

“I did nothing more than my job Owen.” He shifted his gaze toward her for the first time since she arrived and he couldn’t help but drop her hand and reach out to cup her cheek against his palm.

“The bullet didn’t hit his heart or his spine.” He had been able to understand that much. “And while I know you didn’t control the trajectory, you still saved his life by acting so quickly.”

She shook her head as she broke their gaze, her eyes shifting back toward the sleeping young man on the bed before them.

“It’s a miracle.” He knew they were lucky, and he knew that part of that was due to her, whether she wanted to believe it or not. “It did nick a major vessel in his shoulder, under the sub…”

There was another one of those big words he hadn’t been able to wrap his head around.

“Subclavian artery?” Yeah, that was the one.

“Yeah.” He nodded his head as he scratched at his neck. “He went into hypovolemic shock yesterday. A few of his organs started to shut down.”

That had been the hardest part.

Hearing that something secondary to the actual bullet could kill his son.

Something he had never even heard of could possibly end this young man’s life.

He was a firefighter, if he was going to die because of the job, it should be because of a fire.

Not because of some stupid secondary infection or some kind of shock that Owen had never even heard of.

“Jesus, Owen.” She looked terrified as she shifted her gaze back to him.

He knew that she cared about TK.

He knew that they were friends.

He couldn’t imagine the toll this was taking on the other people in their lives.

“But look at him.” He had to stay positive though, he had to. “He’s doing better.”

“He’s a strong boy Owen.” Oh that he knew. “He gets it from his father.”

He huffed as he rolled his eyes.

“He’s breathing on his own. Everything seems to be functioning okay now.” The past twenty four hours had been the most terrifying of Owen’s life.

“That’s a very good sign.” She reached out and rubbed her hand down his arm and he couldn’t stand it any longer.

He needed her in his arms.

So he pulled her to him and wrapped her up tightly, his face falling to bury itself against her neck as he breathed her in.

Michelle wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, squeezing as she pressed a kiss to his head.

“He’s gonna be okay Owen.” She whispered as she rubbed his back softly. “I just know it.”

He couldn’t find words so he nodded his head against her shoulder softly.

After a few minutes he pulled back, offering her a soft smile as she let her hands stay put on his waist as he pushed her hair behind her ear.

“Have you called his mom yet?” Yeah, that had been a fun conversation to have.

“She’s traveling on business in China.” Like always. “She’s desperately trying to get a flight back. I told her by the time that happens, he’ll be awake.”

And he wasn’t just saying that because he had no desire to see his ex-wife.

“I’m sure he will be.” She smiled up at him before dropping her hands and turning back toward the bed.

“I’m just… I’m just gonna stay here until then.” He whispered, reaching out to pat TK’s hand as he spoke.

“I’m sure he appreciates it.” He didn’t know if TK was the least bit aware of what was going on around him, but he was thankful for her support.

“I’m glad you’re here Michelle.” He reached out and took her hand in his, squeezing it like she had done earlier. “Really.”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be.” He doubted that, but he’d take it.

“We haven’t really gotten to talk…” He swallowed as he tried to form coherent sentences, not wanting to mess this up anymore than it probably already was, “since the other night…”

“It’s okay.” The squeeze she gave his hand echoed her words and he thought that maybe, just maybe, they’d be okay.

“Dad…” It was barely a whisper but it was there, and when he turned to Michelle he guessed that she had heard it to judging by the shock on her face.

“TK.” He dropped her hand and leaned forward, reaching for his son as softly as he could.

The kid started to freak out and while Owen was panicking on the inside, he did his best to remain calm until he could settle him.

It didn’t take long, but once he was calm enough to look around the room he instantly raised an eyebrow at Michelle standing off to the side.

“Captain Blake…?” He could only imagine how weird this must seem to him. “Is she…?”

“I’m just checking in.” She whispered softly as she stepped forward. “I’m gonna leave…”

TK simply nodded his head as he blinked a few times.

“Is she… with you?” Well yeah, that was sort of the whole idea.

“Yes.” Owen honestly didn’t know what else to say. “We were gonna go grab a bite to eat.”

“And he was gonna shower…” He wasn’t sure how that was relevant, but…

“Wait…” Oh no. “Like a date?”

“Yes.” Michelle responded before he had the chance and he couldn’t help but put his hand to his face. “Well, sort of. I mean. If you count food truck tacos as a date.”

“You owe me $50.” He was hoping he would forget that part.

“I’m gonna walk her out.” He patted TK on the shoulder with a smile before standing and making his way to the door.

They made it all the way to Michelle’s Jeep before either one of them bothered to talk.

“I’m sorry about dinner.” He was really looking forward to it actually.

He had missed her terribly.

“Don’t be.” She reached out and grabbed his face gently between her hands, tugging him down to press a kiss against his lips. “I’m glad he’s okay.”

“Me too.” He whispered as he let his forehead fall to hers. “I’ll call you later.”

“You better.” She kissed him once more before pulling away from him and climbing in her car.

And then he was watching her taillights as she drove away.

—

Owen had waited outside the hospital room while the doctors checked TK over to make sure he was okay.

And then he had sat and listened to them explain things to them both.

Once again, more words were used than he actually understood, but he did his best to nod along.

After they had left he figured it was time to get TK talking.

“Last thing I remember is… being at the station that night.” Well, not too much time had gone missing. “About Buttercup.”

Ah yes, the dog who had been sulking for days now because he didn’t understand why his new best-friend had just disappeared on him.

“After that… it’s all black.” He sighed as he patted his leg.

He couldn’t imagine what that feeling was like.

“That’s probably for the best.” But then again, would he want to remember getting shot?

Probably not.

“Dad, what happened?” Well that was a loaded question if there ever was one. “Who the hell shot me?”

“We were responding to a possible cardiac event behind a locked door…” He had been trying to play out how he would have this conversation with him should he not remember what happened. “Forced our way in and a seven year old boy with his grandfather’s gun shot you.”

It had never gotten easier to say those words out loud.

Nor had he gotten any better at telling the story.

“He thought we were intruders.” He couldn’t blame the kid one bit though.

“Oh that poor kid.” And there was his boy, always worrying about everyone else. “Does anybody know how he’s holding up?”

“I hear he’s been meeting with APD counseling.” At least, that was what Carlos had told him two days ago when he asked. “He comes from a good family, goes to a nice church.”

He watched as TK nodded his head softly and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It’s so like you to be sitting here with a hole in your chest and still thinking about somebody else.” But that had always been TK’s way of doing things.

He had always had the biggest heart of anyone Owen knew.

“Right, I’m… I’m gonna go home tomorrow, but I can’t even remember it.” Yeah, that had to be scary. “Is that kid gonna be able to forget it?”

God he hoped so.

TK let out a long drawn out sigh and Owen couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“There is one more thing I have to ask you, but you got to promise to give it to me straight.” Oh lord, what now.

“Sure, anything.” But he was a glutton for punishment, so why not.

“So you and Michelle are finally dating?” Oh for Christ’s sake, not this again. “Because I just gotta say… wow.”

“Wow. Why is that a wow?” He didn’t understand, he thought TK liked Michelle.

“Because I didn’t think you’d ever grow the balls to actually ask her out!” He shook his head with a chuckle at the kid’s words. “I mean… you two, together… that’s…”

Owen nodded his head as he felt a smile form on his lips.

“Dad… that’s pretty hot.” Oh boy did he know it.

“Yes, yes it is.” But that was beside the point. “But we’re not talking about that.”

“So you’re still sleeping with her though right?” Why was that important?

“Yes.” Or at least, they had been sleeping together, until TK had gone and gotten himself shot. “Or well, we were.”

“Were? What happened?” Like he didn’t already know the answer to that.

“You went and got shot!” Not that it was his fault or anything.

“Doesn’t mean you have to stop having sex with her.” This conversation was taking a turn down a road he didn’t want to visit right now.

“I’ve been with you 24/7 since it happened.” That was partially true.

He had left a few times, for no more than two hours, to shower or help Michelle with Emily.

But the past twenty four hours he had been sitting here, waiting.

TK let out a sigh as he shook his head back and forth.

“Unbelievable.” He should have known that Owen would be with him though.

He had always come first.

“And you owe me $50 actually.” But he wasn’t going to let this one go. “I didn’t officially ask her out until after the month was over.”

“That’s cause you’re a chicken shit.” Maybe, maybe he was, but still, $50 was $50.

“Thanks son.” He patted TK’s leg with a laugh, watching as he shifted his eyes to the hallway and back again. “Which reminds me, I have a question for you…”

The way his son’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a little told him he already knew what Owen was going to ask.

“How long have you been seeing the cop?” TK muttered out an ‘oh god’ as a shy smile formed. “Carlos right?”

“Yeah, Carlos…” He could tell he was a little embarrassed by being called out like that. “We uh…”

“Michelle said it’s been a few months.” TK raised an eyebrow as he dropped his head back against the pillow. “What? You don’t think they talk? They’re best-friends you know?”

“I can’t believe Michelle ratted me out.” He whispered.

“She didn’t.” He had known from the get go that something was going on and he had been the one doing all the interrogating on the topic. “Carlos showing up at your bedside and holding your hand, running his fingers through your hair… that kind of ratted you out.”

“Good grief.” Owen chuckled as TK sat back up some. “Did Carlos say anything to you?”

“Just that he was there if I needed him.” He had been incredibly thankful for the offer actually, it had been the only way he had gotten a few hours of sleep the first night.

“He’s uh…” TK never was very good at words when it came to his boyfriends.

“He’s a good man TK.” But Owen didn’t need TK to bribe him into liking Carlos like he had had to do with Alex, and Harry, and whoever that tech guy was that he dated before him.

In fact, Carlos was the only boyfriend of TK’s that Owen had ever liked.

“Are you two dating?” The sigh that left his son’s lips told him that they probably weren’t. “Is it serious? Not serious? Just hanging out? Friends with benefits? You’re not doing anything crazy with him I hope.”

“Daaad!” Yeah, he got it, talking about his sex life with his father was probably the last thing he wanted to right now. “We’re just… having fun.”

“Ooookay.” He wasn’t going to ask him to elaborate because he had just spent the last seven months ‘having fun’ with Michelle and he knew damn well what that entailed. “Just… be careful… please.”

“I am dad.” He sounded sincere as he offered him a smile. “I just hope you can say the same thing.”

Owen gawked at his son as the younger man let out a chuckle.

He figured that bringing up the pregnancy scare probably wasn’t in good taste right now so he bit his lip.

“You know me,” TK shook his head as he waited for it, “no glove, no love.”

“Oh God.” He chuckled at the horrified look on his face. “Would you get a better catch phrase?”

“Nah.” He was his father, wasn’t it his job to embarrass him?


	15. 1x09 part 2

Michelle had panicked at first when she had gotten TK’s call.

Her first thought had automatically been that something was wrong with Owen.

And then her mind had gone to something being wrong with TK and Owen being unreachable.

But she figured that was insane because he would have just called Carlos, or Judd, or anyone of his crew mates before he would have called her.

But he told her that he just wanted to talk and that was it.

So she had driven over to see him after her shift had ended, ringing the doorbell as she shifted her feet against the all too familiar ‘welcome’ mat.

It’s not like she hadn’t been here a hundred times or so over the past seven and a half months.

“Hi.” TK opened the door with a smile and she did her best to return it.

“Hey…” She really wasn’t feeling the small talk right now though.

“Thanks for coming by.” She nodded her head as he let her in. “Please come in.”

It felt weird getting an invitation into Owen’s home.

Although, she guessed it was just as much TK’s home as it was his fathers.

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” It wasn’t like she could say ‘no’.

He would just track her down.

It’s not like he didn’t know where she worked.

“I’m uh…” She gestured to his stubble covered face with a chuckle. “I’m loving the new look you got going on here.”

“Yeah well…” He didn’t seem to elated by her comment and she sighed, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for him to continue. “Haven’t really felt like shaving…”

“I get it.” She could only imagine he was feeling pretty lazy lately, she didn’t blame him one bit though.

She had never been shot before, but she had been stabbed once.

And that had not only been painful, but also rather annoying.

“Showers are uh…” She nodded her head as he bit his lip.

This really shouldn’t be awkward.

They saw each other at work for hours, hell, days on end sometimes.

They’d made small talk and joked around before.

But that had been as co-workers.

She had a feeling that she was here as his father’s girlfriend and not as the paramedic captain who snuck him Hershey bars when no one was looking.

“So you and my dad…” He stood there and stared at her as she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah…” She wasn’t sure where this was going, but it was making her nervous. “What about it?”

“Are you guys…” Oh please don’t say he’s going there. “You guys are good right?”

What the hell did that even mean?

“We’re uh…” She didn’t know how to answer that.

Did she tell him that they had sort of kind of talked about dating?

Did she tell him that they were just sleeping together?

She wasn’t sure what information Owen had already given out and she didn’t want to put him in a tight spot.

“We’re having fun.” That wasn’t a lie.

Dating or not, they were enjoying each other’s company.

A lot.

“Do you think it could become something more?” Did she what now? “I mean, I know you guys have been, ya know, the whole friends with benefits thing… I get it… but uh…”

This was so not appropriate.

“What’s this about TK?” But then again, he had just had a near death experience.

He probably didn’t even know what this was about.

“Do you think it could become something more? Something serious?” Well she hoped it would eventually.

“I don’t know.” And truthfully, she didn’t.

Did she see wedding bells in their future?

Probably not.

But that certainly wasn’t something she would object to either.

“I just…” He sighed as he scratched at the back of his neck the same way Owen did when he was nervous. “I just want my dad to be happy.”

“TK…” She had a feeling she knew where this was going.

“You make him happy.” He whispered. “I just… I need to know that if something happens to me, that he’ll be okay.”

“He will be.” She reached out and squeezed his arm gently, offering him what she hoped was a supportive smile. “But you’re not going anywhere. Are you?”

Owen had told her about TK’s ODs, she wasn’t a stranger to what that could sometimes mean.

“No… I just…” He sounded like he had probably had enough talking for the day and she nodded her head.

“You just need to know that?” She understood though.

She had felt the same way about Iris when they were kids.

It was why her friendship with Carlos had been something Michelle had always supported.

She knew that Carlos would never let anything happen to her.

“Yeah.” He nodded his head in agreement, a small smile coming to his face as he chuckled. “God this all sucks.”

She let out a laugh as she bowed her head.

“Yeah, it does.” But if he needed an ear to listen, she was willing to help. “I’m here… if you want to talk.”

He snapped his attention back to her with a shocked look.

“I don’t know much, and I’m not a professional by any means.” She had never even taken a psychology course, who was she kidding. “But I am a great listener.”

“That’s what my dad said.” So she had been helping Owen out somehow.

Interesting.

“Why don’t you talk to Carlos about this?” She wondered if she was overstepping by bringing their relationship up.

“It’s just… it’s so new…” That was how she felt about things with Owen too.

But she had found that he was incredibly easy to talk too.

And whether she wanted to or not, she often found herself just spilling her guts to him sometimes.

“I get that.” She also knew that Carlos could be a great listener, but he sometimes had a hard time not talking too. “Carlos is a great listener ya know?”

“I know.” She sensed that she knew what he was going to say next. “But sometimes… he uh…”

“He likes to talk a lot too.” She fully got it. “Trust me. I’ve known him since he was twelve. Sometimes, he never shuts up.”

TK laughed and she felt herself relax some.

If cracking a joke about Carlos was all it took for him to stop looking so tense she would have done it the second she walked through the door.

“I can’t believe you’ve known him that long.” Neither could she.

“He was uh… he was best-friends with my sister in middle school.” God that seemed like so long ago. “He used to come over after school and my mom would make me ‘babysit’ them.”

Not that her sister and her sister’s gay best-friend needed babysitting, but her mother at least paid her, sometimes.

“Your sister…” Oh shit, she’d gone and made things awkward again. “Yeah, Carlos has talked about her a few times.”

“Really?” Normally he left the grieving and the mentioning and old stories up to her.

Michelle knew they had had a falling out a few months before she disappeared, but she never knew what it was about.

“He likes to tell this story… about the time you guys all went to the beach.” Oh God no. “Something about you sneaking them alcohol and your mother catching you.”

“For the record…” She was going to kill Carlos. “Judd was the one sneaking them alcohol. I brought the smokes.”

TK chuckled as he moved into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and offering it to her without a word.

She followed him and took it, watching as he grabbed one for himself before turning back to her and smiling.

“He never mentioned that part.” Of course he didn’t.

“They were probably too drunk to remember it.” In fact, they were all too drunk to remember anything from that trip.

It came back in bits and pieces, sometimes blurry, sometimes clear as day.

“He likes that story.” She wasn’t surprised.

“It was a good trip.” It had been a fun weekend, despite them getting busted by her mom.

“Sounds it.” TK let out a groan as he moved his shoulder around some and she stepped forward. “It’s fine. Just stiff.”

“You should rest.” His ass should have still been in bed.

But she wasn’t his doctor, or his mother, so it wasn’t her say.

“Yeah.” He nodded as he headed toward the couch, plopping down against the pillows with a sigh. “My mom’s supposed to be flying in soon.”

Oh was she now?

“That’ll be nice.” She had no idea what to say so she just said the first thing that came to mind.

“Hardly.” He shook his head before taking a sip of his water. “Dad’s insisting that she save money and stay here.”

Funny how Owen hadn’t mentioned that part.

“Well that’ll be good, to have her close.” It wouldn’t be good for her though.

Not that that mattered.

“Ha.” Apparently TK agreed. “They’ll do nothing but fight all weekend I’m sure.”

“Maybe they’ll surprise you.” She knew nothing of Owen’s relationship with his ex-wife, and frankly, she didn’t know if she wanted too.

“Or maybe…” Uh huh. “You could convince him to stay at your place while she’s here and then I’ll only have to deal with one neurotic parent.”

“Maybe…” She liked the sound of Owen staying with her for a few days.

She had certainly missed sharing a bed with him.

Amongst other things.

“Pleeeaaase…” She wondered if that had been TK’s motive all along.

“Did you seriously call me over here, make all this small talk, do the whole bonding thing…” Because if he had, he was a genius, “just to try and bribe me into babysitting your father for a weekend?”

“No.” He shook his head as a look of shock came across his face. “But that’s totally what this looks like isn’t it?”

“It’s okay TK.” She didn’t think he had actually planned it this way though. “It just kind of worked out that way didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He nodded his head with a shy smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She whispered. “I’ll bring it up.”

“Thanks.” He looked appreciative and she smiled.

“Don’t mention it.” She reached out and patted his arm with a smile. “I’m gonna get going. You get some rest okay?”

“I will.” She turned toward the door and she was almost outside when she heard him shout after her. “Thanks Michelle!”

“You are very welcome.” The wave she offered probably wasn’t any consolation, but it was something.

At least, she hoped it was something.

———————————————————————

Owen hadn’t been shocked when TK had mentioned that he wasn’t sure about coming back.

Something inside of him had told him that that was a possibility.

A possibility he didn’t want to accept, but a possibility nonetheless.

But what had shocked him was Michelle texting him to tell him that she and TK had just had a very lovely chat.

He had tried to inquire about what, but she had simply told him that she would tell him later.

At her house.

And on only one condition.

Spend the weekend with me? He stared at the sentence as he contemplated what was going on with her.

Sure, they had spent the weekend together before.

But it normally hadn’t been planned that way.

Rather, it had been because they were both too tired and possibly a little too drunk to spend their time anywhere but in bed.

But this?

This sounded planned.

And it sounded really, really good.

Can’t. TK’s mom’s gonna be in town. He surely knew that Gwen would have something to say about it if he just up and vanished too.

Didn’t think you’d want to stay in the house with her. So that’s what this was about.

This was TK’s idea wasn’t it?

That sneaky little turd.

TK put you up to this? He knew he wasn’t looking forward to them being together all weekend.

He had told Owen that he had to promise that they wouldn’t fight the entire time.

Maybe I’m just trying to help out a friend… Yeah, help him out.

If Gwen doesn’t mind. I’ll think about it. He didn’t think it would be an issue though.

She didn’t reply back and he let out a huff before pushing himself up from his seat and heading downstairs, making his way toward his Jeep.

He knew that Gwen wasn’t due to arrive for another two hours but it didn’t matter.

He was going home and he was getting to the bottom of this.

—

“Dad, you’re home early?” TK certainly seemed shocked to see him and he bet it had everything to do with the blue Camaro that was parked outside. “I… I thought you’d still be at work.”

He leaned against the door frame to the living room like he was trying to hide something and Owen chuckled.

“Carlos, you can come out now!” He watched as the man appeared behind TK, a sheepish smile on his face.

“This isn’t what it looks like Captain Strand…” Oh for heaven’s sake was the kid ever going to call him Owen? “We were just…”

“Making out on the couch while watching…” He peeked his head around TK as he caught a glimpse of the TV, “is that Rachel Ray?”

Neither of the younger men answered and Owen laughed.

“I’m gonna go shower.” He turned toward the stairs but then stopped, turning back to give TK a look. “He can stay, but we have to talk.”

“About…?” He knew TK was probably thinking he was about to get busted for having a boy over, but that wasn’t the case at all.

“You trying to pawn me off on Michelle.” He heard Carlos chuckle and he figured that she had probably already told the cop about whatever the hell had happened earlier. “I’ll be right out. You two boys behave!”

And then he continued his way up the stairs, laughing to himself when he heard them muttering to each other about being caught.

—

Thirty minutes later Owen was making his way downstairs, smiling to himself as he shook his head at the image that greeted him.

It looked like perhaps TK had been attempting to do the dishes, probably washing up from whatever mess Carlos had created while making whatever it was that was making his house smell so good.

But TK wasn’t washing dishes anymore.

And Carlos certainly wasn’t cooking.

Rather, Carlos had TK backed against the counter, his hands tangled in the younger man’s hair as they made out like a couple of teenagers.

It was an image that Owen could have lived without seeing take place in his kitchen, but at least they seemed happy together.

He gave them another minute to see if they stopped on their own, but they didn’t even come close.

In fact, Owen was pretty sure that they were about to start removing clothing when he cleared his throat from the hallway.

Carlos all but jumped through the ceiling and the huff that TK let out was comical.

“Dad!” He had always enjoyed embarrassing his son, but the fact that he was also getting to embarrass Carlos a little too was just adding to the fun. “Knock for Christ’s sake!”

Owen shook his head as he made his way toward the kitchen, sitting down on one of the stools as he watched Carlos try to put himself back together.

“This is my house.” Well, it was their house, but he was paying the mortgage.

“Don’t take this personally Captain.” He would never. “But I’m buying you a bell.”

“On one condition.” The look of shock on Carlos’ face made him laugh. “Stop calling me Captain.”

The younger man simply nodded his head, the deer in the headlights look never leaving his face.

“What do you want anyway dad?” TK was sulking and it was pretty funny if you asked him.

“First of all? What smells so damn good?” He couldn’t remember the last time he had ever smelt something so divine.

“Carlos made dinner.” That would explain it.

“You know your mom will be here soon right?” He wondered if TK had somehow forgotten that part.

“We know.” Carlos looked nervous while TK looked giddy and Owen didn’t know if he wanted to know what they were up to. “Carlos is staying for dinner.”

“Just gonna rip the bandaid right off there huh son?” Not that he cared, but Gwen, Gwen might care a little.

“Yes sir.” The normally confident cop looked anything but.

“Was this his idea or yours?” He had a feeling that Carlos wouldn’t willingly submit himself to such torture.

“His.” Of course it was. “He thinks it’ll be easier to just get it out of the way.”

“To get what out of the way TK?” He knew there was more to this then just introducing Carlos though. “Is there something I should know?”

Carlos and TK looked between each other and then to him and then back again.

Carlos sighed and TK just smiled.

“Dad…” Oh this was going to be good. “Carlos and I are officially dating.”

“Are you now?” He was happy for them, but a little tormenting never hurt anyone.

“Yes. Yes we are.” Carlos sounded uncertain and Owen chuckled.

“Good.” But he couldn’t torment this poor guy, especially when he got the feeling Michelle had tormented him enough lately. “It’s about damn time.”

And as far as he was concerned, it had taken them long enough.

“See,” TK moved over to grab Carlos’ hand, “I told you he’d be cool with it.”

“It’s not your dad I’m worried about.” Carlos hissed out.

“Don’t worry about Gwen.” At least, Owen hoped they didn’t need to worry about Gwen. “I’ll handle her.”

TK smiled as he pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek.

And then Owen heard it, the sound of a car door shutting outside, and that could only mean one thing.

“Mom’s here!” And then TK was tearing off toward the front door like a child and Owen let out a sigh as he turned toward the other man.

“I’m so sorry he roped you into this.” He sometimes wondered what TK was thinking when he did things.

This, this was certainly one of them.

“It’s okay.” Carlos shrugged with a soft chuckle. “Besides, he informed me that you were staying with Michelle this weekend, so I thought I’d only be combating one parent at a time.”

Oh that sneaky little rat bastard was good.

Really, really good.


	16. 1x10 part 1

Michelle had somehow convinced Owen to stay with her for the weekend, despite him knowing that it was just a plot by TK to get him out of the house.

They had enjoyed themselves, that was for sure.

But before she knew it Monday had rolled around and they had both been back to work.

And then a week had flown by and then another.

And here they were, two weeks out, and she was starting to feel like something was up.

She couldn’t describe it, couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but something was going on.

She didn’t know if it was with her, or with Owen, or what.

But it was definitely something.

And when her phone call with her mom had gotten cut short and the static had filled the line, she had felt it again.

Something was up.

The scary flock of birds flying overhead and then lading on her car hadn’t helped.

But then the next thing she knew everything was going black.

—————————————————————

Owen had figured that judging by TK’s behavior when Gwen had been in town that things were going a little, haywire.

Hell, he hadn’t expected him to actually use all two weeks of his medical leave.

But he had.

And then he had left and gone to New York for a week, leaving Owen and Carlos in the lurch.

It had certainly been a little different for them all.

But he had come back to Austin and despite the feeling in Owen’s gut, he had told him that he was still thinking about things.

That hadn’t made Owen feel any better though.

And then his team had been giving him advice and trying to help and all he could think about was how he really needed to just get through this on his own.

Both for his sake, and for TK’s.

“Sorry to interrupt guys, but Captain Strand” And then Tim was appearing in his doorway and the look on his face told Owen that it wasn’t about anything pleasant, “is there any chance you’ve spoken to Captain Blake this morning?”

No, no he had not.

Or at least, not while she was awake and aware of what was going on.

Instead he had crawled out of bed well before day light and showered and dressed in the dark.

And then he had pressed a kiss to her head and whispered a ‘goodbye’ before leaving her alone in his bed.

She had been out of it, but fine.

“No why?” But no one on his team other than Judd knew about their relationship.

And he knew that she hadn’t told her people yet either.

So he wasn’t about to blow their cover.

“She hasn’t come in.” Well that wasn’t a good sign.

It was almost noon and she was due to be in at 10:00am.

He knew that she was planning to stop off and check on Emily and Patrick at the homeless camp before her shift.

But he knew that wouldn’t have taken her all morning.

“We haven’t been able to reach her all day.” And now that he said something, Owen realized that she hadn’t responded to his text earlier about avoiding the crowds tomorrow night and sticking to take-out and a movie instead of going out.

“That’s odd.” And it was concerning.

He reached for his phone to double check.

Yep, no new messages from her.

Something was definitely up.

And then the power had gone haywire and the firehouse looked like something out of a Stephen King movie.

He had dropped his phone and completely forgotten about finding the missing woman.

Until two hours later when things had quieted down and he grabbed his phone again.

Call me when you get this. We’re worried about you. He figured it was safer to say they were all worried instead of just saying it was him.

He didn’t need her to know that he was silently freaking out right now.

—

But even after risking his life to save Rick from the plane.

And even after jumping from God knows how high up just as said plane caught fire.

He still couldn’t get the thought that something was seriously wrong with Michelle out of his head.

And it absolutely terrified him.

Normally work was enough to keep his mind off of anything else.

But today, today all he could think about was making sure that Michelle was okay.

—————————————————

The next time Michelle came to she was surrounded by purple and everything hurt.

Everything was blurry and she couldn’t make sense of what was going on.

She couldn’t believe she had let this happen.

Again.

“What happened?” She could make out the back of someone, a woman from the looks of it, and she hoped that it wasn’t the person who had hurt her.

“You got conked,” She knew that voice, “but I saved you.”

“Iris?!” She couldn’t believe it.

She had to be dreaming.

This couldn’t be real.

But there she was, smiling down at her, and Michelle felt something in her heart explode.

“Oh.” She reached up and pulled her sister in for a hug, something she never thought she’d get to do again. “Oh my god, you’re alive.”

She couldn’t believe that she had been right all along.

She knew she couldn’t be dead.

She knew she had to be out there somewhere.

And here she was.

“Oh I’ve missed you so much.” She reached up and cupped her cheeks, holding her close as she let her eyes examine her.

Three years without seeing her face had been entirely too long.

“We thought you were in an accident.” She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that accident either.

It would keep her up at night.

It would give her nightmares, make her heart race and sweat bead on her forehead.

She had gotten really good at hiding it from Owen, but she wasn’t good at hiding it from herself.

“Wade missed the turn.” Iris said softly. “Mandy moved her mouth, but no words happened, so I left.”

Oh thank God.

She would never be more thankful for her sister’s desire to run.

“How long have you been living here?” And how the hell had she missed her?

She’d been coming here for years.

She knew most of the residents of the camp.

In fact, she thought she knew them all.

“What day is it?” She wasn’t sure how that was going to help.

Unless Iris was still really confused.

Which was entirely possible.

If she was indeed showing signs of schizophrenia, having gone three years without treatment would surely make a mess of her mind.

“Monday.” At least, she thought it was Monday.

Her own mind was a bit of a mess right now too.

“I don’t know.” She figured that was the answer she’d get.

“Have you seen me here before?” There was no way that Iris could have missed her.

Unless of course, she didn’t want to be found.

“You come alone. It’s not good.” Now she sounded like Carlos, and Owen, and Judd.

They all thought it was stupid for her to go by herself.

But she was a big girl, she could handle it.

“So why haven’t you said anything?” Why didn’t she ask for help or reach out?

She had to know that Michelle would do anything for her.

“They wouldn’t like it.” And there she went with the crazy talk again. “They said dead, dread, red if they can, and they… they prefer it when distance satisfies.”

She clearly needed help and Michelle couldn’t help herself from letting her heart skip a beat or two.

She had been so reluctant for help before, she couldn’t imagine how hard it would be for her to accept help now.

“Iris…” But Michelle just wanted her sister back. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. When you tried to call me that night… I’m so sorry.”

She would never forgive herself for not answering those calls.

But now, more than ever, it hurt to know that her sister knew she had abandoned her.

“What night?” Michelle felt the tears threatening to fall.

But she couldn’t go there.

She wouldn’t.

“You know I’d do anything to protect you…” That had always been true, and it was more true now than ever. “From anyone, even them.”

“You can’t and it’s okay.” Except she could and it wasn’t okay.

She needed help.

And Michelle had to make sure that she got it.

So instead she convinced Iris to take a ride with her.

She was thankful that she knew Tim’s number off the top of her head and she used the emergency phone that she had given Emily to call him.

He had picked them up in the ambulance, no questions asked, and dropped them off at the hospital.

Now she just needed to get her own damn phone to work.

—

The doctors had checked them both over and a nurse had helped get Iris cleaned up and in some sweats.

Michelle had tried tirelessly to get through to the 126, and to Carlos, but she was having no luck.

Eventually she got through to TK’s personal cell though, but it rang and rang before the option to leave a voicemail or not came through.

She had to at least give it a try.

“TK, it’s Michelle… I’ve been trying to get through to someone, anyone, but it doesn’t seem to be working. I’m okay. I’m at the hospital, but I’m okay. Just… just tell your dad I’m okay and I’ll see him soon.” And then she hung up and sighed.

She was sure that Owen was too busy working to be worrying about her, but she wanted him to know just in case.

After shoving her phone back into her pocket she headed in to check on Iris.

The younger girl was sitting up in the bed, fiddling with a brush as she stared off into space.

“May I?” She gestured toward the object with a smile, watching as her sister shook her head before handing her the object.

She couldn’t believe she was getting ready to brush her sister’s hair.

It was something she hadn’t done since Iris was a kid.

“You know, you got me arrested, like 15 times.” It wasn’t her proudest accomplishment, but she knew that Iris would see the humor in the situation.

“What?” She didn’t seem that shocked though and Michelle chuckled. “How did I get you arrested?”

“Dustin filed a restraining order to avoid talking to me about you.” A restraining order that she violated many times.

A restraining order that Owen also violated, against his knowledge, as well.

“Dustin, what a jerk.” She hadn’t thought that three years ago.

“I was a little bit pushy with him sometimes but…” A little pushy was probably putting it nicely.

“Yeah, that I believe.” What was that supposed to mean? “You know, I have to say, I’m mad at Carlos for not keeping you out of trouble.”

“Who do you think kept arresting me?” Having a best-friend like Carlos had certainly proven worthwhile these past few years.

“Oh no, he did not.” He sure did.

“Oh yes he did.” And he would never let her live it down either.

“I’m gonna have words with him.” She couldn’t wait for that conversation.

Carlos had hid it well, losing Iris, but she knew he was missing her just as much.

He would be over the moon to see she was alive.

And then her mom had shown up and the moment had faded.

Michelle knew that her mom was happy to see her sister again, she couldn’t blame her at all.

But now it was back to the ‘Iris was perfect show’, and once again, she was left on the back burner.

Despite Iris fighting hard to get back to the homeless camp, she knew that her mom would never stop.

But her mom had let Iris go with nothing more than a coat and some cash and a promise to take care of herself.

She hoped that was her mom’s way of acknowledging that they had do this slowly.

“She’s going to get herself hurt out there.” Her mom whispered as she returned to the room.

“She’s been taking care of herself down there for three years Mama.” Something that Michelle couldn’t accept. “She’ll be okay.”

“You’ll check on her?” She had to know that Michelle would say ‘yes’.

“Of course.” She whispered as she wrung her hands together in her lap. “I… I go down there a few times a week. I promise Mama, I’ll make sure she’s okay.”

It was her job wasn’t it, as her big sister?

She was supposed to take care of her and protect her.

And she would make damn sure that she did.


	17. 1x10 part 2

Owen was exhausted.

Overly exhausted and every muscle in his body hurt.

He just wanted to go home and sleep.

To close his eyes and lay in the coolness and darkness of his bedroom.

He just wanted to shut the world out for a while.

And after TK had made his confession to the team and had declared that he was in fact, staying in Austin, Owen had just about had enough emotion for one day.

But then he had lifted his head and saw the only person who had been on his mind non-stop that day staring back at him.

Michelle.

And she was smiling and breathing and very much alive.

And his sore and tired legs couldn’t carry him up the steps to her quick enough.

“Hey.” He really didn’t know what else to say because shouting out ‘I love you, don’t ever scare me like that again’ seemed incredibly inappropriate .

“Your texts just came through…” Oh. “All of ‘em.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have sent so many.

“Yeah. It was a crazy day.” He moved to stand beside her because all he wanted to do was be close to her.

Sure, he could pull her in for a hug.

Everyone was in the showers.

Well, everyone expect for TK and Carlos.

But they already knew they were together.

So what could it hurt.

“Yeah.” But he stopped himself when he saw the pained look on her face.

“You were out in the middle of it.” Tim had told her that he had found her at the camp, but that was all that conversation had entailed.

He had wanted to ask more but he figured too many questions on his end would lead to too many questions on Tim’s end.

And he wasn’t sure just how far she wanted this to go.

“Sort of.” She turned to face him and his heart stopped in his chest.

“Whoa.” So maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say to the love of your life when you saw her for the first time in 24 hours. “What happened to you?”

But she was hurt.

And he knew it was more than just a scratch on the head.

“I found my sister.” Well holy hell. “She’s alive.”

“That’s amazing.” He felt nothing but joy for her.

But that still didn’t explain the giant goose egg on her head, or the stitches.

“And then I lost her again.” Wait, what? “And I came here. I don’t really know why.”

He hoped it was because she wanted to see him.

Maybe even needed to see him.

Because he damn sure needed to see her.

“I know my shifts over, but…” She moved to sit on the couch as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“Well tell me, what’s going on?” She could open up to him, she had to know that.

He moved to sit across from her, his hand reaching out to brush over her knee as he eyed her softly.

“She’s been living on the street this whole time.” That didn’t sound good. “She’s sick.”

He remembered her mentioning that a few times.

Something about confusion and manic episodes.

He had hoped it was nothing serious, but judging by the worried look on her face, it was just that.

“She has untreated schizophrenia.” Well that wasn’t good. “We realize now that she was showing signs of it the whole time before she disappeared but…”

“I’m so sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say and yet, that somehow didn’t seem like nearly enough.

“She’s been living in this homeless camp where I volunteer twice a week.” He guessed it was the same camp where Emily and her father were living. “For years I have been searching heaven and Earth for her, and the whole time she was just right there in front of me.”

He couldn’t imagine that was an easy feeling to live with.

But she couldn’t blame herself.

God he hoped she didn’t blame herself.

“I mean, how many times did I just walk right past her?” Yeah, there was the guilt right there.

“Well you’d never walk past somebody who needs help,” And he meant that because it was true, “so she probably didn’t want to be found.”

He hoped that that came out the way he wanted it to.

“Maybe.” Michelle whispered. “My mom and I tried to get her to come with us but she refused.”

He knew that had to hurt and he couldn’t help himself from reaching out and taking her hand in hers.

It was innocent enough that if they were spotted they could easily write it off.

Not that he wanted to write it off.

Not anymore.

“So what now?” He asked the question like it somehow affected him.

Which it didn’t.

Not unless she wanted it too.

And God did he pray that she wanted it to.

“I have no idea.” He guessed this wasn’t something anyone could ever prepare themselves for. “I could try and get her committed but she’s been out there for three years. It’s hard to argue she can’t take care of herself.”

Of course she could take care of herself.

If she was even half as strong as Michelle was she’d be just fine.

“Yeah, that’d be difficult.” He knew that right now, that wasn’t a solution. “Well, I’ve recently learned that you can’t make anyone do anything, even if it’s for their own good.”

She looked up at him like she was the one he was talking about.

He hoped that she didn’t think he was referring to her.

“Particularly if it’s for their own good.” Because while they clearly had some things to talk about, this wasn’t the time or the place.

“So what do you think I should do?” The fact that she was asking him was a sign, wasn’t it?

“Keep the door open.” That was really all she could do at this point. “Keep the light on. Keep trying.”

It’s what he would do.

For TK.

For her.

“Love her the best way you can.” Okay now maybe he was talking about her a little more than he had originally thought.

“TK’s lucky to have you as a dad.” Why did this conversation all of a sudden sound like they were breaking up?

“Iris is lucky to have you as a sister.” This sounded just like a breakup song.

What the hell was going on here?

They weren’t breaking up where they?

“Flattery will get you everywhere Captain Strand.” There she went with the official title and the flirty smile again.

Just like she had that night outside the Honky Tonk.

“Everywhere? Really?” She nodded her head as she let out a chuckle and leaned forward.

“I’ve got something I need to take care of.” She whispered as she stood, using his knees to help push herself upward, her hands lingering a little longer then they probably needed too.

“Okay.” He whispered his response as he stood as well. “I guess I’ll see you around then…”

Wait, did they just…?

“Will you be home tonight?” She asked as she stepped forward, her fingers brushing over his as she stopped beside him.

“Yeah. Give me a few hours to finish up here.” So they hadn’t broken up?

“Okay.” She squeezed his hand and then she was making her way around him and toward the stairs. “I’ll see you, around, Captain Strand.”

He chuckled to himself as he reached out and waved at her.

She waved back before ducking her head, a smile forming on her lips as she shook her head.

And then she was gone.

—-

But that night he had been laying in bed when she had crawled in beside him and he felt his heart flutter in his chest.

They had been through so much the past few days that he couldn’t imagine how exhausted she must be.

He rolled over to face her and offered her a soft smile as she settled against the pillow.

“Iris okay?” He had figured that’s where she was heading after she left him at the station earlier.

“Yeah.” She nodded her head with a yawn and he reached out and brushed his fingers across her cheek. “We had a picnic under the lights.”

“They were pretty awesome weren’t they?” He had spent more time on Buttercup’s walk than normal, but like he had told the dog, New York was nothing compared to this.

“Yeah.” She yawned once more and he watched as she closed her eyes, her body relaxing as she snuggled into the blankets.

He laid there and watched her for a few minutes, his mind reeling as he tried to wrap his head around all the emotions he was suddenly feeling.

He had been so worried about her earlier that day and the only thing he could think about while he waited desperately for her calls was how he had never had the chance to tell her that he loved her.

“I love you.” He whispered softly, praying that he didn’t scare her away.

But he needed to get them out there.

He needed her to know.

She snapped her eyes open and stared back at him, her mouth moving but nothing coming out.

“I love you and I don’t want to lose you.” She closed her eyes again as a tear rolled down her cheek and he felt his heart break in his chest. “I’m okay if you can’t say it back. I don’t expect it. But I wanted you to know.”

He had never been an ‘I love you’ man.

Gwen had always said it first.

As had his second wife.

And the one woman he had sort of seriously dated after that.

But it was never him.

But he couldn’t hide it anymore, not from her.

He waited as she took a few deep breaths, her eyes finally opening after a few minutes as she stared back at him.

“I love you too.” Well that wasn’t the response he expected.

Honestly.

He was thinking she’d maybe run away.

Or tell him it was too soon.

But saying it back, that was unexpected.

“I’ve been thinking so much about leaving things unsaid lately…” So everything with Iris had finally boiled down to this. “I just… I don’t wanna live with regrets anymore.”

“Well I hope you don’t regret me.” God that would suck. “Because the past 10 months have been pretty damn amazing.”

“I thought we were just gonna have fun?” She didn’t sound upset or angry or even confused and he was thankful.

“Yeah, well, you had to go and make me fall for you so…” He offered her a smile as she rolled her eyes, her hands reaching out to cup his cheeks as she pulled him close.

“Shut up Captain Strand.” She leaned in then and kissed him, soft and sweet and slow, and he felt everything in his body start to tingle.

He didn’t know if it was her lips on his or the use of the damn title again, but something about that moment made him fall even more in love with her than he already was.

If that was even possible.


	18. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my way of explaining Michelle’s absence in season 2. Clearly it is nowhere close to canon, but it’s what I wanted, so I went with it. I’m working on the sequel I’m waiting until the season 2 premiere to do anything final with it (just in case I decide not to follow canon at all and do my own thing). Thanks to everyone who stuck around! I love you all!

Six weeks had passed since Michelle had found Iris in the homeless camp under the overpass.

Six long and exhausting and stressful weeks.

She had been trying hard to give Iris the space she needed and claimed she wanted.

But part of her wanted nothing more than to drag her sister to the hospital and have her committed so that she could get better.

Michelle was thankful that she was back in her life.

But that didn’t stop her from wanting the fun loving woman back that her sister had once been.

Especially when it was so hard for her mom to understand that they couldn’t magically make her better.

And especially when so many things were about to change for them all.

“Carlos!” She didn’t even bother knocking as she pushed her way through the young man’s front door.

She prayed that he and TK weren’t involved in any state of undress right now because she desperately needed to talk to him.

“Jesus Michelle!” Carlos exited the bathroom, dressed only in his boxers, his toothbrush in his hand as he raised an eyebrow at her. “Don’t you knock?”

She probably looked like a mad woman but she didn’t care.

“No time for knocking.” She huffed out as she poked her head into his bedroom, making sure that they were alone. “TK’s not here is he?”

“No… he had a shift last night.” Thank God for small miracles. “I’m trying to get ready for work. What’s going on?”

“We need to talk.” She started pacing back and forth down the small hallway outside the bathroom and she heard Carlos let out a sigh.

“Give me a minute to finish up.” She nodded her head as she headed into the living room and collapsed onto the couch.

She could feel her leg bouncing more and more with every second that passed and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait for him.

But just as she got ready to get up and yank him out of the bathroom, she heard the door open and Carlos emerged, now wearing a t-shirt, his hair freshly combed and moussed.

“Took you long enough!” Carlos simply rolled his eyes as he stepped into the bedroom.

“What are you doing?” She really didn’t have time for his shenanigans right now.

“I’m putting on pants.” He shouted back, causing her to sigh.

“Pants are overrated!” Really, pants, now? “We don’t have time for pants.”

“We? I’m the one who’s already running late for my shift because my boyfriend thought it would be funny to turn off my alarm yesterday and not reset it.” He peeked around the doorframe and sighed. “Pants are happening now, so speak if you must.”

She huffed as she pushed herself from the couch and darted into his room, watching as he grabbed a pair of pants off the floor and yanked them on.

“I’m pregnant.” Carlos practically fell over as the words left her mouth and she had to stifle back a giggle at the sight of him with one pant leg pulled up and his mouth hanging open.

“That’s what you thought three months ago…” He stared back at her like he had just seen a ghost and she sighed. “Are you sure this time?”

“100% sure.” She grabbed the small piece of paper from her back pocket and shoved it toward him. “See. 100% sure.”

The look of joy and confusion and horror and happiness that flooded over Carlos’ face mirrored those she had surely displayed while in the doctor’s office earlier.

“Michelle…” He had clearly forgotten about his need for pants as he grabbed the picture from her hands and stared down at it. “This… this is a baby…”

“Yeah. You’re telling me.” She had been just as shocked when she had seen the tiny blur on the screen earlier. “I was in denial but…”

“Denial?” He snapped his head up toward her and stared her down. “You suspected this?”

“Yes.” Or rather, it had been her mother who had pointed out the weird changes. “I took three home tests. They were all positive. I thought I was losing my mind so I went to the doctor this morning and…”

“And you’re definitely pregnant.” He plopped down onto the bed and looked back down at the object in his hands. “How far along are you?”

“Eleven weeks, give or take.” She moved to sit down next to him and took the picture from his hands.

“Does Owen know?” Of course Owen didn’t know!

“No.” She sighed as he shook his head at her. “I don’t know how to tell him Carlos. He’s been so… things have been so weird lately. I’m so busy with Iris and he’s been doing all that training at the station. We haven’t had a moment of peace for weeks.”

“Well… you’re about to have 18 years without any moments of peace so you might wanna talk to him.” She reached over and slapped his arm as she stared down at the image of the baby that was growing inside her.

She was still in denial, despite seeing it for herself.

She couldn’t believe this was possible.

They couldn’t be having baby.

It just couldn’t be happening.

“He’s gonna run away.” She just knew it. “He’s not gonna want this.”

“Are you kidding me?” Carlos turned toward her and reached out and squeezed her shoulders with both hands. “That man is so crazy about you Michelle. He’s gonna be over the moon.”

“Maybe with anger.” They honestly hadn’t talked about kids after the scare a few months back.

She didn’t want to bring it up and he seemed fine sweeping it under the rug.

So that’s what they had done and no one had been any the wiser.

As far as she knew, Carlos was still the only one who had any clue about the incident to begin with.

“Michelle, he is not going to be angry.” She shook her head as she sighed, turning away from him as she heard his phone start to ring in the other room. “He loves you. You know that. I know that. I’m pretty sure every person who comes within 50 yards of the two of you knows that.”

“I…” His phone started ringing again and he sighed as he pushed himself to stand.

“I’m sure it’s work.” He yanked his pants on and grabbed his belt as he spoke. “Look, you guys need to get away. You need a vacation or something. That would be the perfect time to tell him.”

“Why? So he can leave me in some far away place?” Carlos rolled his eyes as he headed for the front door, grabbing his phone from the dresser as he went.

She guessed that maybe she should go after him.

“I meant a trip to the beach.” He slid his shoes on as he checked his phone and listened to the voicemail. “Or maybe just camping. Something simple.”

“Simple? Right?” She didn’t even know how she would go about bringing that up.

Especially when she hadn’t even seen the man in over a week except for at work.

“Look, I’ll come up with a few ideas and text them to you later.” She nodded her head as he grabbed his keys and flung the door open. “I’ve gotta go though. Feel free to stay, just lock up before you leave.”

She sighed as she gave him a little wave, her body sinking down onto his couch as she contemplated going home or into work or possibly just running away for a little while.

“It’ll be fine Chica.” And then Carlos was darting back in the house and placing a kiss to her head before heading back out the door. “I love you and I will see you later.”

And then he was gone, leaving her all alone in the silence of his small house.

She let out a huff.

This was not how she wanted this morning to go.

—

But she also didn’t want her morning to turn into an afternoon spent in the emergency room pacing back and forth letting out frustrated sigh after frustrated sigh.

“You’re gonna wear a damn hole in the floor Chelle.” Judd wasn’t helping either.

How he was remaining so calm she didn’t understand.

“Shut up Judd.” She didn’t mean to sound so snippy, but she wasn’t as prepared for this as she thought she’d be.

“I’m just saying…” He rubbed his hands together and as he stared her down, “you’ve been pacing an awful lot there.”

“I’m worried okay.” Worried wasn’t the only emotion she was feeling though.

No, she was also nervous.

And scared.

And confused.

“He’s gonna be fine.” Easy for him to say. “Cap’s a tough guy, he’ll be okay.”

She simply nodded her head as she stopped her pacing, her eyes snapping toward the swinging double doors as they opened.

“How is he?” She hadn’t even waited for TK to make it all the way through before she posed her question. “Is he okay? Please tell me he’s okay?”

She was glad that no one was here that wasn’t already aware of their relationship because she was pretty sure that her panic would have given her away.

“He’s fine.” TK held his hands up with a smile as he stopped before her. “Just some smoke inhalation. A few bruised ribs. They’re gonna keep him over night just to be safe. But he’s okay.”

“Oh thank God.” She let out the breath she had been holding as she closed her eyes and said a silent prayer to whoever was up there.

“I can take you to see him if you want.” Did she ever?

“Please.” She hoped she didn’t sound too desperate, but she needed to see him.

This kind of scare made it very clear that she needed to tell him about the baby, and now.

TK nodded his head before gesturing toward the doors, waiting for her to go first.

—

Owen had been asleep when they had walked back so TK had simply squeezed her shoulder before heading back out into the waiting room.

And so she had sat and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It felt like an eternity before he woke up, but when she checked the clock it had only been two hours.

She felt kind of silly for feeling so overwhelmed by waiting.

But the picture burning a hole in her sweatshirt pocket was making it really hard to be patient.

“Hey you.” His voice was soft as he reached out for her and she couldn’t help but throw herself at him.

She tried to be gentle of his ribs as she wrapped her arms around him tightly but she heard him let out a soft groan nonetheless.

“You are never allowed to scare me like that again.” She whispered against his neck as she held on to him tightly.

“Yes ma’am.” He chuckled with his words as he hugged her back, his right hand going to tangle in her hair as he held her close. “I’m sorry.”

“You better be.” She pulled back and wiped at her eyes as she took a deep breath. “I have something I need to tell you.”

He raised an eyebrow as he waited for her to speak again, his hand reaching out to take hers when he noticed her starting to tremble.

“I’m pregnant.” He didn’t respond, instead, he just stared back at her with a confused look on his face. “It’s for real this time. I have proof.”

She reached into her hoodie and took out the picture, handing it over to him with a small smile.

She only hoped that he wouldn’t freak out about what she was showing him.

“A baby?” He stared down at the picture as he spoke and she found herself holding her breath. “For real?”

“For real.” She whispered as she closed her eyes to try and fight off the tears. “I’m about eleven weeks along…”

“Wow.” He didn’t seem mad, but he wasn’t jumping up and down for joy either.

“I know that we haven’t exactly talked about it.” They hadn’t talked about it at all actually. “But…”

She didn’t know how to say what she was thinking so she just sighed and plopped down in the chair.

“Is this…” He winced as he pushed himself upward, tugging her to sit on the bed beside him. “Is this a good thing?”

She wasn’t even sure to be honest.

“I…” She sighed as she took the picture from him and stared down at it. “I don’t know.”

“Well, that’s probably something we should talk about don’t you think?” She really hadn’t had time to process it all now that she thought about it.

The three home tests that she had taken earlier in the week weren’t concrete enough for her to really ponder the possibility of being a mother.

And she had only just found out for certain eight hours ago.

Four of those eight hours she had spent in panic worrying over him.

She hadn’t really thought about what this meant.

“I don’t know what to think.” She whispered out her confession as she looked up at him with tearful eyes.

“Do you want to have a baby?” Well it was a little late for that question wasn’t it?

“Yes.” She answered before she knew what was happening and she wasn’t really sure where that answer came from.

She had never really seen herself as a mother before.

And especially not when she was dating Billy.

But now, now she could see herself with a kid.

“Then that’s all that matters.” He reached out and squeezed her arm as he smiled back at her. “If this is what you want, then it’s what we’re gonna do.”

“But…” But what if it wasn’t what he wanted. “What about what you want?”

“I want this Michelle.” He sounded genuine and she felt her heart skip a beat. “I love you. I’ve known that for a while now and I think you have too.”

She nodded her head at his words because it was true.

They had loved each other for far longer than they had been willing to say out loud.

“So, what now?” She honestly had no idea what the next step was after that.

Sure, they were having a baby.

But there weren’t a million and one other things to consider once that part was confirmed?

“Well for one, can I get a kiss?” He offered her a soft smirk and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I mean, we should at least celebrate a little.”

She chuckled as he pulled her in, pressing his lips against hers softly as he tangled a hand in her hair.

She wasn’t sure what the future held for them from there on out, but at least she knew that they would get through it together.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments please.


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